[Daisha]

I never thought of asking this question until I saw the thread that askes the same thing on this thread today. I was just wondering if there is anything I need to be aware of while adopting that potential bmoms would NOT want in us for their baby. I am 23 and my husband is 25 (almost 26). We have been married for 4 years and have been TTC for almost 2 1/2 years now. We have very little chance of having bio children because of my fertility issues (endometriosis and PCOS), I will probably be needing a hysterectomy in a few years and am anxious to start our family. My husband has a good job and once we are blessed with a baby, I will be working from home. We are not wealthy but do well and are comfortable financially. My husband just built us a beautiful home in a great neighborhood and has basically designed it around the idea of a family!!! He is so sweet Anyway, I was just curious if this situation is something that someone would want for their baby. Would they want us to make more money? If I did have to continue working out of the home part time for a while would that be an issue? Are we too young? Have we not been married for long enough? Just something that I have been thinking about. Feel free to pm me if you want. I would really appreciate any responses, positive or not. Thanks!!

[tobeafamily]

Daisha,

I think you'll find that for every paparent, there will be a pbparent looking for someone 'just like them'. There are no 'hard and fast' rules around this.

For instance, we're the opposite - older (DH was 45 when we adopted), military, not particularly religious, both worked full time from home, favorite holiday is Halloween, and have lots of furry creatures. We thought any of these things would 'count against us' and indeed we did speak with people who for one reason or another didn't feel we were the 'right' parents for their child.

Ryan's bparents, though, immediately felt a bond with us, and we them. They are Wiccan, also love Halloween, have lots of furry creatures, didn't care that DH was two years older than one of their parents, etc. Ryan's bmom and I even share an unusual collecting hobby.

Most important is that you simply be yourself, don't pretend to be or portray yourselves any particular way than who you are. I think pbparents relate to that most, because honesty and trust are the basis of open and semi-open adoptions. If someone senses that you're 'pretending' or 'gilding a lily' now, that will raise more alarms than being honest and straightforward.

HTH, best of luck,

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

[LindaBrown]

Every person considering adoption for their child wants something different. I may not want what others want in a family for their child. For some they want parents older than they are and some want a family with money or no children and some want a working family. We are all different in our wants and wishes.