[oldestofthree]

I have a few questions: My sister is giving a child to a family in a few months. She has two other children.

First, what should she tell her 5 year old. He will obviously know.

She wants to come and live near me in Southern California, is it Ok to ask the perspective parents to pay for an apartment here (probably about $3000 a month) and her apartment back east (considerbly less)?

Is it proper to ask that they pay for a ticket for my neice (18 mos.) who will be coming with her and my mother who may help her getting here?

How long should she plan on staying here after the birth?

She is on Cobra, and I'm not positive if my ob/gyn takes cobra, can I have the family pay the offset?

Also, if anyone knows any potential questions they have asked perspective parents, please let me know. This isn't the first time one of my sisters has given a baby up for adoption, but the situation is different with this sister being older.

[tobeafamily]

Except for the first question, these are best asked of a an attorney experienced in domestic adoption in your state. They can explain the laws regarding what expenses are allowed to be paid, etc. Keep in mind that as fees and expenses increase, the available 'pool' of prospective adoptive parents will decrease.

The American Academy of Adoption Attorneys keeps it's member list online at www.adoptionattorneys.com.

Hope this helps.

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas