[augustmomagain]

I have been searching online for resources to locate potential adoptive vegetarian parents in florida, possibly south georgia. I have not had any luck yet, any ideas or suggestions???? I have done searches and read "dear birthmother" letters on some of the major adoption websites, and found No profiles matching my preferences. I am VERY particular about what I am looking for in an adoptive family, including religious values (or lack-thereof.) I have posted a birthmother situation letter on another site, but I do not want to disclose all of the details of what I am looking for, out of fear that people will tell me what they think I want to hear rather than the truth! I do not want to become set on a family, only to discover that I have been lied to. I have very strong values and am unwilling to compromise in how my child-to-be will be raised.

Thanks in advance for the input!

[usocwazee]

I checked this site out. http://www.vegfamily.com/playgroups/florida.htm. There may be some pa/parents out there. Good luck.

[Howdy]

This link has a story of a family whose adopted child was taken away from them because they were vegetarians. They mention a few vegetarian organizations that helped them be able to adopt, maybe those organizations could help you link up with a vegetarian family looking to adopt:


http://www.vegfamily.com/articles/dumas-story.htm

[Stormy]

Vegetarian potential adoptive parents may not be advertising that fact. I know when we were waiting to adopt we brushed by the fact that we are vegetarians. We didn't want to exclude ourselves due to our diet. Maybe if you contact some agencies directly they would know of some people who are vegetarians. If it is important to you certainly keep looking.

Good luck

[augustmomagain]

thanks for all who replied.

Yes, I have contacted local agencies, but the roadblock there was with open adoption, I never even got to the point of discussing lifestyle/beliefs/child-rearing. The agencies I spoke with that advertised "open adoption" had no idea what the concept was, they said that only first names would be given, and all communication would be through them. Basically, if the adoptive parents chose to send letters and photos then I would be lucky. This was unacceptable, so I thought that I would try to locate a couple/family for a private adoption, a fully open adoption.

I have been trying to access this site for days to read the replies and respond, but the site keeps crashing on me. I doubt that I will bother coming back here since it is more trouble than it's worth (I lose the site after a few minutes.) Hopefully this reply will go through...

[Sharon]

"I have very strong values and am unwilling to compromise in how my child-to-be will be raised." ~augustmomagain
Augustmomagain,
I know exactly how you feel. My family and I are vegans and have been for years, and I have strong objections to meat for a number of reasons. I am the birthmother of a 13-year-old and the mom of an 11-year-old son.
I understand why you are seeking vegetarian a-parents for your child. However, you must keep in mind that once you relinquish your child for adoption, your parental rights are terminated, and your child is considered by law to be "as if born to" the adoptive family. A new, amended birth certificate is issued. Legally, you have no say whatsoever in how your child is raised, because legally it is no longer your child.
Even if you find vegetarian adoptive parents, there is no guarantee that they will not revert to meat-eating at some point. You might find atheist adoptive parents, but there is no guarantee they won't undergo some type of religious conversion and end up raising your child as a devout christian. You might find christian adoptive parents, but there is no guarantee they will not lose their faith and leave the church and raise your child without religion... you get the picture. Adoptive parents may divorce, or they may simply get older and change their minds about a lot of things. Nobody's life is static. Adoptive parents grow and change just like all the rest of us.
I'm not trying to discourage you from placing your child. That is a decision only you can make. I'm trying to give you a realistic view of what it means to be a birthmother. You will not get much say or input into how your child is raised once your parental rights are terminated. Even if your adoption is open, the adoptive parents will undoubtedly raise the child as they see fit, and will probably view advice or suggestions from you as intrusive.
If you are truly "unwilling to compromise on how your child should be raised", then perhaps you should think long and hard about your decision to place. Once your child is adopted, you will no longer have a say in how your child is raised. That will be up to his or her adoptive parents. And no matter how closely their values match yours, they may change. Many people's beliefs and values change once they become parents.
Best of luck to you, ~Sharon

[Jeanne21]

I read that you are vegan. I am a vegan, and so is my fiance. We do not have children yet, and intend to adopt in a few years. I have read before that you have children (I think...). Do you raise your children as vegan? vegetarian? or do you let them chose their own food? I could never cook meat, or be anywhere around it... If you do raise your children vegetarian/vegan, where did you find information on giving them a balanced diet? (little kids need different foods than adults do...) I am worried that by not giving my child milk, cheese, etc. they will have life-long problems... Thanks for any information you might have.

[Sharon]

Jeanne, yes I have an eleven year old son, and I'm the birthmom of a 13-year-old. Of course, I have no say over the 13-year-old's diet. But the child I'm raising is vegan. He takes vitamin supplements and drinks Silk (Soy Milk) or Rice Dream. I try to serve a lot of dark leafy greens, in stir-frys etc... which also contain calcium and iron. We also eat a lot of peanut butter and a lot of beans and rice (protein).
I know other vegan parents who compromise and feed their children milk/ dairy products, and even eggs.
I think it is possible to raise healthy vegan children, but it is important to research and plan their diet carefully.
One book that's helped me a lot is "The Vegetarian Way" by Mark and Virginia Messina, PhD. Also, "Staying Healthy With Nutrition", by Elson M Haas, MD.
Best wishes,
~Sharon

[MomTo1]

Stormy is right. Us vegans do not advertise it to birthparents. Most people do not support the vegan lifestyle and I was afraid it would limit me in being selected as an adoptive couple.

We will beginning our second domestic adoption next month and again, I will not advertise this.

I hope some do not take offense to this. I am not trying to trick anyone, if ask I would, of course, tell.

Sharon....we use the same products in our household and we always eat something of dark green. I especially love that chard!

Bye

[Jeanne21]

Another quick question, how about when your 11-year-old was really young (like less than 2)? Did he have to take special vitamins, since his brain was still maturing? I have read that kids under 2 need a high percentage of fats, including saturated fats, so that their brains can fully mature? Is this true? I know that saturated fats come almost exclusively from animals.

[Sharon]

Jeanne, I breastfed my son until 18 months (I know, that's longer than most people would consider breastfeeding, but he was thriving, so I just kept on with it) and around 12 months old I also began to supplement his diet with rice cereal and fruits and vegetables. Bananas and raisins were big favorites. But I didn't give him any special vitamin supplements until he was about six years old and I started giving him multi-vitamins.
If I had it all to do over again, I probably would talk to a doctor about this and get some advice about what's best for infants. I was very young when my son was a baby... I just followed my instincts, and luckily he turned out great.
~Sharon

[vegcarrol]

The following resources may help answer your questions about a vegan or vegetarian diet for mom and baby.

Dr. Charles Raymond Attwood, recently deceased, was a famous board certified pediatrician and Fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics. He was very active in promoting low fat diets for children and led opposition against Gerber for how they produced their baby food. He recommended a plant based diet for children. Dr. Benjamin Spock wrote the forward to Dr. Attwood's book and Dr. Attwood acted as nutritional consultant to Dr. Spock. http://www.vegsource.com/attwood/

By the way, Dr. Spock also recommended a vegetarian diet for children in the last revision of his Baby and Child Care, the book that has sold more copies in the world other than the Bible. Spock was raised as a vegetarian until age 12 and was a very large man - 6"4" and very strong. He won an Olympic gold medal.


Dr. Michael Klaper has written several nutrition books and cookbooks including Pregnancy, Children & the
Vegan Diet.
http://www.vegsource.com/klaper/


The American Dietetic Association booklet "Considerations in Planning Vegan Diets: Children, Infants" gives information on all nutrients and where vegans can get them. It also over and over states that vegetarian/vegan children have not shown to grow slower or anything like that. Very scientific, very mainstream.
www.eatright.org

I hope this helps,
Vegcarrol

[vegbaby]

You should also visit www.vegetarianbaby.com

Melanie

[Dickons]

Augustmomagain,

I was adopted into a Seventh Day Adventist home. My Dad was also a doctor with additional nutritional training. I was raised primarily vegetarian with the addition of dairy and eggs.

The SDA focus on nutrition and many are vegetarians. The SDA were also the ones to start producing protein products under the Loma Linda and Worthington brands. I believe Worthington is now the brand called Morning Star.

I would look up the SDA Florida conference headquarters and give them a call about any adoption agencies they deal with/and or ask about SDA members looking to adopt.

Whether or not this would work with your requirements or not, only you can say. My opinion is I could not have found a better home.

Take care,
Dickons