[Administrator]

Adoption.com’s Forum Rules

While the Terms of Service (TOS) refers to the basic rules and guidelines of the site, there are other rules we enforce due to situations that have occurred over the years. Please take a moment to review the “Forum Rules”.

Rules are subject to change as new policies are forged.


• No vulgarities, obscenities, name-calling, character assassinations or mockery are allowed on the forums. While there are appropriate “adult” topics, the vocabulary used needs to remain family friendly.

• No personal attacks or flaming of any kind. You are welcome to disagree with a member, but calling them names or flaming their character is not allowed. If you have a personal issue to discuss with a member, please take it off the boards and discuss via PM.

• When discussing your points of view and referring to other’s comments, it is not necessary to cut & paste large amounts of material. Have a dialogue with people, not cut and paste dialogues. To quote someone is fine, but sometimes quoting is taken out of context of a post and leads to the cut and paste dialogue we like to avoid.

• Please refrain from intentional derailment of threads. If a thread is too “heated” for you to take part in, simply do not participate. However, ruining it for others simply because you don’t feel you can respectfully participate in the thread is not fair to those willing to discuss an issue. If you feel a thread violates the TOS or forum rules, report the post to a moderator for review or send a PM to a moderator.

• Please remember that all members are allowed to read on any forum regardless of their affiliation with the site. Keep this in mind when starting threads and respect that perhaps those on different sides of the “triad” etc. can read and post.

• Moderator’s decisions are final and are not to be debated at any time. Please remember that there are often behind the scenes details that you are not privy to. Certainly you can question or comment on a decision directly to a moderator via PM, but remember, it is not up for debate. We will not engage in a debate over decisions.

• Discussing banned members is only allowed in the context of general discussion. You are welcome to discuss the member personally, but discussing the banning or reasons behind it are not allowed. We do not share the reasons why a member is banned, as that is private information kept between the moderators and the banned member.

• Members who require excessive moderation or whose participation results in excessive moderation may be banned.

• Private Messages and e-mails, which are exchanged privately, are not to be posted on the forums or in Private Message without consent of all parties involved. Discussions stemming from the topic of a Private Message or e-mailed conversation are fine, provided the above rules are followed.

• Under NO circumstances are harassing, vulgar or threatening PM’s permitted. If you receive one, please forward it to a moderator for review. If you are found to have sent one you can lose PM privileges and/or be banned.

• Reputation comments are not to be posted publicly. This includes quoting or copying the comment itself onto a post. You may address a reputation comment in general but you cannot refer to the member leaving the comment by name, and your response to the comment should simply be written in a way to clarify the post it refers to. Any reference to “drive by repping” and /or discussing the type of the reputation (positive or negative) you are responding to will be deleted by the moderators.


• Under NO circumstances are harassing, vulgar or personal attacks allowed on a reputation comment. If you should receive one, please inform a moderator. If you are found to have sent one, you can lose your reputation privileges and/or be banned.

• Quotes from threads, other than the one being posted to is not allowed without permission from all users involved. This includes the person being directly quoted as well as anyone else they have quoted in that post. Links to other threads, unless done to mock or attack another member, are allowed.

• Quotes from journals/blogs/e-mails made by members either on or off this site are not allowed.

• When posting articles or news reports, please remember to give credit where credit is due. Include the byline, article and URL where the information is posted.

• Please respect other members. If you can't do that, put the member on your ignore list and go on your merry way. Continual harassment can be grounds for banning.

• When a thread is closed, the topic is closed. Creating another thread to continue the discussion after a moderator has closed a thread will result in moderator action.

• Posting links to offensive material – anti adoption sites, pornographic sites, etc. is not allowed under any circumstances. Ignorance of what is housed on the home page or deeper within the site is not an acceptable excuse. Make sure that anything you post to the forums is suitable for a family site.

• Posting links to retail (adoption or non-adoption related) sites is not allowed. You are free to share the name of the company, but you cannot post the URL.

• The Agency Discussion Guidelines includes ALL fee based adoption services, not just agencies. If you have to pay a fee to use the services for your adoption (even if they are elective, like Dossier services, Care package service or Travel agencies that cater to adoptive families) you must discuss them in Private Message.

• Do not impersonate anyone. “Trolling” is grounds for an immediate ban. Members are allowed to post to the forums using ONE account, with the exception of certain circumstances to be determined on a case-by-case basis by the moderators. Posting from another account without disclosing why you are doing it and who you are, we will assume you are a troll and you could lose both accounts as a result.

• If you’re unhappy with the forum, its members, its moderators or the attitude of the forum in general – there is no need to “speak your piece” in a “Goodbye” thread. Such threads will be deleted and based on the contents – the member could be banned.

• Asterisking out curse words in order to get your point across is not an acceptable way to bypass the Forum’s auto-moderating of offensive words. Please share your thoughts, opinions and feelings in a way that doesn’t require the use of curse words. We realize that sometimes there just aren't words to convey how you are feeling and you might say "It's truly one of those @#(*$&)(*&#% days today" but saying "That guy is such a @#($*&@ boob" clearly indicates a bypass of the forum's auto-moderating system and is not allowed. Similarly, spelling out auto-censored words with symbols is not acceptable.

• Posting identifying information that is not your own is not allowed. Full names, birthdates and other personal information of persons other than you should not be included in posts as it may not be their wish.

• Identifying information about minors (especially foster children) should never be posted. The minimum age for the release of information in all fifty states is at least eighteen, therefore the use of the forums to search for someone under the age if eighteen is prohibited.


• If you are adopting from a public or privatized foster care system, either domestically or internationally, please remember to respect the foster parents privacy by not posting their identifying information openly on the forums.

• Remember that moderators are volunteers. It is impossible for them to view every post made to the forums every day. Don’t assume because action hasn’t been taken that the post is ok. If you see a thread that violates the Terms of Service or the Forum Rules, please click the red and white triangle at the top of the post and report it to the Moderators for review.


By using the forum, you agree to all rules that apply..

This forum is for you to learn from and enjoy, but not at the expense of others. Have fun, but be respectful and play nice!

In your use of these forums, you agree that you will not post any information, which is vulgar (except as allowed above), harassing, hateful, threatening, invading of others privacy, or violates any laws.

[BrandyHagz]

I wanted to bump this - since several members have indicated that they haven't seen this.

[BrandyHagz]

Bump for new members

[BrandyHagz]

There appears to be some questions regarding the permissibility of 501(c)(3) websites, so I will address this on this thread, as it’s never been an issue before.

We do allow the posting of 501(c)(3) organization URL’s on our site, permitted they can meet a certain criteria.

* If the site offers items for sale, there must be verbiage on the site that indicates the proceeds from the sales go to the 501(c)(3). Most 501(c)(3) websites do contain this verbiage, however there are some that don’t. Those that don’t contain the verbiage can’t be posted, because it is considered a for profit arm. Simply stating “donations are now tax deductible” does not meet our criteria if the site offers items for sale.

* The site isn’t offering a fee based adoption related service. Even if a large portion of the site is free, if any portion of the site offers or advertises a service related to adoption, which is fee based, that site can not be posted.

Our moderators enforce this rule across the board, regardless of the spirit in which the URL is posted.

In the end, our Terms of Service clearly states that as a private company, we reserve the right to moderate the forums as we see fit, and while this is a fairly broad statement, its necessary to avoid having a Terms that addresses every possible eventuality and in turn, making our Terms arduous to read.