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  #16  
Old 04-05-2012, 10:09 AM
Sunshiny Sunshiny is offline
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You seem like a nice person and I am sure that translated on your message to your daughter's natural mom. As a natural mom I would have been thrilled with updates, pictures, and contact. I say take the chance and send a letter just in case she doesn't check her messages. My brother admits to never checking his so it is possible she doesn't either.

Let's just say she does want contact. Can you imagine how crushed she will be in knowing that she could have had some contact and inadvertantly blew it?

Let's say she doesn't want contact. Then you may get a letter back stating just that. But you tried and you will have something nice for you daughter by trying to ease the questions and doubts her natural mother might have in wondering is she is OK.

Good luck with everything.
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  #17  
Old 04-11-2012, 10:11 PM
momof6maybemore momof6maybemore is offline
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Bummer. I guess she hasn't received my messages yet. I noticed a week ago that her profile had switched to timeline and there were new pictures. But, my brother in law just told me that all facebook accounts that hadn't already switched to timeline automatically switched to timeline that day. As for the recent pictures, I went back and looked and it shows they had been updated on march 28th, the day before I sent her the friend request and new message. So apparently it looks like I'm still in the same boat I was in. Wondering if she got my 1st message (probably not) and waiting for her to see the new friend request and new message.

This is hard.
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  #18  
Old 05-09-2012, 09:36 PM
momof6maybemore momof6maybemore is offline
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still waiting, she has been on, but no messages or friend confirmations. I guess our answer is no, or at least not right now.
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  #19  
Old 05-31-2012, 06:10 PM
smiles2012 smiles2012 is offline
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I realize this post is a bit old, but I found it interesting.

I am an amom but I must say that I agree with Belle. Your info is out there, and I dont think you have crossed a boundary since you dont know if she was even given the option for the adoption plan to not be closed.

No need to send any other correspondence though because if or when she decides to try to find LO, you have opened the door and made it easier.

Another FB message is a moot point, and I think snail mail is too personal, especially if she doesnt want contact.

Also, FB did not auto turn everybody to timeline...I have some friends with it and some without it. I manually changed mine yesterday.

If her FB changed to timeline, chances are she got the message and after 8 years, she is dealing with the emotional ramifications of your kind hearted message that she may have never expected to receive.
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  #20  
Old 05-31-2012, 08:38 PM
BirthMomAgain BirthMomAgain is offline
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As a Bmom once and about to be a Bmom twice, please do not give up, @momof6maybemore!

I can only hope and pray that my daughters' Amoms would be as persistent as you. I know thats not a good thing in everyone's situation. But just like you extended a friendly "hello, I'm here" to her, she is more than welcome to extend a polite "No, thank you" to you. Don't give up! Please!

My daughter is 9 and her mom and I are friends on facebook. We email their often. But you're right, some unknown emails go right to the "others" folder, never to be seen, unless you know what you're looking for. And not everyone has internet access. Maybe she only checks at a friends house? The next message or letter that you send, I would suggest that you let her know the only reason you're being persistent is because you're not sure if she's got your message yet or if its been passed by.

If it were me, I'd be crying because I didn't know you were looking for me. I wouldn't want to spend one more day apart than I'd have to.

**This is just my opinion and how I would feel** My first adoption is CLOSED CLOSED CLOSED and it was not my choice. But the Amom decided to open it for benefit of everyone involved. One of the best days of my life.
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  #21  
Old 06-10-2012, 09:54 PM
momof6maybemore momof6maybemore is offline
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Oh my gosh! She "friended" me

My heart is so happy right now. She hasn't written me anything and that is fine, I will just wait and give her a chance to get to know me and for her to take all the time she needs. I just feel so blessed.Thank you guys for your support.
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  #22  
Old 06-11-2012, 07:11 AM
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Gwen72 Gwen72 is offline
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Yeah!!! I'm glad she finally accepted your friend request!
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  #23  
Old 06-16-2012, 06:22 PM
momof6maybemore momof6maybemore is offline
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She messaged me. It's not her after all. Big Bummer. I still am in complete shock. Everything seemed to point to her. She and her daughter looked just like my dd.
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  #24  
Old 06-17-2012, 05:02 PM
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Annom Annom is offline
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Maybe it is her but she's just not ready to acknowledge it??

Either way - Sorry.
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  #25  
Old 06-18-2012, 10:38 AM
momof6maybemore momof6maybemore is offline
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that's what I thought at first, until I did some more research.I found a post from her that she just posted showing her oldest sons graduation from elementary school (though he looks like he can be much older, the older brother of my dd would be about 16 now, until she posted this I believed he was much older). The younger brother would be graduating from elementary but not the one in the picture who looked to be the oldest boy.

I also found an article about her and it stated she received several nominations during the time before and after my daughter was born (I know my dd's birthmom was in a different occupation/school during that time, along with living in a rehab place, I doubt she would have received those nominations from that organization at that time).

I also found our dd's birthmom has a different birth date listed on some paperwork I have. It's possible she wrote the wrong date or someone wrote it in the report wrong but not likely.

I was so hopeful this was her mainly based on the name, age, family make-up, and by the facial features/expressions they looked nearly identical to my dd with both her and her oldest daughter. Plus the oldest daughter had the same middle name as my dd's middle birthname. Plus the location. Everything seemed to point to her. It was really hard to accept that it might not be her. I was sure she was just trying to blow us off, but after further research I think she might be right. It's so frustrating though. It's hard to let go of all the other connections that seemed to point to her.
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