[kakuehl]

My 4th was quiet. Services in the evening. DH had a concert of Max (the puppy) and I spent the evening alone.

KLL08 - I am glad everyone is ok; sorry you are sore!

Facebook - Neither D nor his parents are on FB but his wife is a "friend". (I call myself her "illegal mother-in-law".) My acct is open to anyone. (D's half-brother by his bdad is on my friend list.)

Have a good week everyone.

[feelingreyt]

Originally Posted by KLL08

As far as our 4th of July--had a great time up with my family in Ohio. Unfortunately a lady ran a red light and T-boned our car. We are all ok, but our SUV had to stay in Ohio to get fixed So now we have a little rental and one sore Mommy. I'm very grateful I was able to stop when I did otherwise they would have hit DD's door and things would have been much worse. The paramedics check out DD first and said she was fine. And trying to find a rental on the 4th that we could bring home was a royal pain! But we are home and its back to work today.

Thank God you are all ok!

[feelingreyt]

We had a great 4th! We had lots of family and a few friends over.
I hope everyone had a wonderful time!


On another note:
I got a response from J. She said it would be a waste to put any money in her account because they would take it to pay off her medical bills there. She then asked if I would put the money in her cell mates comminsary account. She said her friend has been helping her out and that she would be able to use the money this way.
So what do you guys think of this????

[quantum]

That makes me feel nervous.

How do you feel about it?



(KLL08, car accidents are always quite horrible, glad you guys are ok)

[feelingreyt]

Originally Posted by quantum

That makes me feel nervous.

How do you feel about it?

To be honest, I don't like it one bit. However, I want her to have a few things she needs.
I just don't know what to do.

[kakuehl]

that would make me uncomfortable too. How much does she owe for medical?

[feelingreyt]

She didn't say how much she owes. I believe it's like $25 for a nurse visit. There is no telling how many times she has had to see the nurse or Dr. She just said she owes alot and any money put into her account will be used to pay what she owes.

[thanksgivingmom]

I don't think I would do it feeling.....

I mean, who knows that the friend won't go to the nurse and have the money zapped?

I think your heart is in the right place and that you've made every effort to be there for her, in every way possible....I think reassuring her of that might be all you can do at this point. For you all, I wish this were different.......

[RavenSong]

Feelingreyt, if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't do it. I just wouldn't feel comfortable at all putting money into her cellmate's commissary account...it doesn't feel right to me.

I say go with your gut feelings on this one. Your instincts seem to be right on...trust them.

[Suziebearhugs]

Will they allow you to just mail her packages with some magazines, candy bars etc?

If not maybe just send her regular letters and pictures. Just to let her know she is in your thoughts and prayers.

Thanks for sharing your comments about facebook. Not sure what I'm going to do yet. Will have to think about it a little longer.

[feelingreyt]

Apparently you can only take things to inmates the first 24 hrs they are there. So we are not allowed to take her anything now, otherwise, I'd definately just do that.
DH said he thinks maybe we should go ahead and put $20 on the cellmates account. He said this would be a ONE TIME only deal(I honestly figured he would be like, NO WAY. Talk about a shocker!). I don't know. I'm still thinking about it.
I will definately send her letters. I would send pics, but they aren't allowed.
Thanks, y'all, for all your advice. I'm carefully considering this. For some reason, this just isn't sitting well with me. Then on the other hand, it's only $20. To me that isn't much, but to J(IF she even gets it) $20 makes a huge difference. I just wish everything with her wasn't so darned COMPLICATED. I tell ya, she is 100% DRAMA, but I still feel for her, ya know.

[belleinblue1978]

Greyt,

I'd say no to that. You don't know the cellmate, therefore, there is no basis of trust that the money will get used appropriately. I'd talk with J about asking if she can get a job during her sentence to help pay those bills down. I'm betting the jail offers some kind of inmate work program.

[lahdh4]

My 4th was good. Went up to a friends house, parked my car and didn't move it until Sunday!! Her boyfriend works for one of the local fireworks store and had purchased plenty of fireworks to go off in the front yard. Glad that the neighbors do not live close. So there was food, drink (adult beverages), friends and some of her family. I think I finally went to sleep at 3, since I was talking to a friend who I haven't seen in a few months and just relaxed in the morning before coming home.

Feeling: if she is telling you to put the money in a friends account, I would say no. I would ask her what she would like that you could send and then send that.

Really not liking this weather right now. I saw a comment and I just want to go home and cry and not get out of bed.

[KLL08]

So we ran into S's firstmom today at the store! It was so great to see her! She came running up and gave S a big hug and kiss. It was so sweet. And S kept following her voice as she talked to a couple ladies she knew at the store. I had to choke back the tears. As she was leaving S kept climbing up my side to follow her with her eyes. I got to our car and had a little cry before heading to work. I sat there and wondered if our little 7m old missed her firstmom. S has almost been with me for as long as she was with her. Her firstmom said she would give us a call soon to set up a visit with the kids! I can't wait for S to see her siblings again. So it was a wonderful way to start our day today and a great surprise!

[Suziebearhugs]

I'm a little bummed right now.

My dd's birthaunt contacted me on IM and asked if we were going to come to her bsisters birthday party on friday.

I told her that I didn't know we were invited.

It took a long time for her to respond.(my guess was that she was trying to contact her birthmom to find out if it was okay or not).

She came back on later saying that "she'd" luv to see us there.

I told her that I felt kind of wierd going if we weren't invited and her birthmom didn't want us there or if it would make it too hard for her.

She just mentioned back that she's sure that her birthmom would love to have us there and we wouldn't ruin the party.

Then I started to get really bummed with the way our relationship is with her birthmom. I mentioned that If she wanted us to be there she probably would have contacted us.

Then she made a bunch of excuses saying she doesn't have our number or a computer etc and probably doesn't know she can IM through her cell phone.

I told her back, that she has had our phone number for YEARS and our Address for YEARS and even though she doesn't have a computer at her home right now she has free access to one at the local library right by where she works and as well as at the grandma's house and surely any of her friends homes. Plus I mentioned that she has IM'd me on her cell phone before so she knows that I'm only a couple buttons away in the palm of her hand. etc.

She continued trying to defend her and I just told her I had to go. I'm so tired of people justifying her lack of communication and making her out to be the victim, when I've been trying to get her to step up and make more of an effort for years.

I feel like the ball is in her court. I've asked and I've pleaded for too long. I'm sick of our relationship being so one sided, or going through other family members. Where she just shows up as a fly on the wall and then leaves, with hardly any communication with me or my dd.

So I'm just sad. We may end up going, we may not. But an invitation from her birthmom would have been nice. Not just being thought of as a side note by one of her relatives. Or a mistake, by her slipping and inviting us when her birthmom had no intention of inviting us.

Not sure what to do, just want to cry for some reason.

I