[lovemy2boys]

Kathy, I can only imagine what you're subjected to...

Does it ever rub off on you? Do you ever find yourself feeling negative because of all you are hearing?

I'd think being a minister (or are you called a pastor? I fear I may have gotten it wrong) would be somewhat similar to being a therapist in that people would seek you out whenever things weren't going well...and that you'd really have to try hard to keep yourself from letting that affect your frame of mind.

[feelingreyt]

Originally Posted by lovemy2boys

Kathy, I can only imagine what you're subjected to...

Does it ever rub off on you? Do you ever find yourself feeling negative because of all you are hearing?

I'd think being a minister (or are you called a pastor? I fear I may have gotten it wrong) would be somewhat similar to being a therapist in that people would seek you out whenever things weren't going well...and that you'd really have to try hard to keep yourself from letting that affect your frame of mind.

My dad is a Pastor. It's funny because he is called to "counsel" sometimes. I say it's funny because even though my dad is a spirtual leader, I NEVER thought of him as a therapist, LOL! But, yeah, he kinda is!

[lahdh4]

Well, I found out Goober weighs as much as Supergirl what is even worse ---- Goober is 2 years younger then she is!!!!!!

I tend to vent here and on my blog often. However, I leave the FB stuff just about the everyday things. Allthough when I read about some of my friends all woe is me stuff, I just have to laugh and just remind myself that they don't have my life and don't have to deal with some of the stuff I do.
My exUncle is strict with my cousin but his mom/my Aunt isn't. He isn't allowed to have a myspace or FB account or even an email address. So when I saw him last weekend I was on FB and myspace and let him go and send messages to his cousins/my neice and nephews. His mom was standing right behind him and said it was okay. Didn't want him to get into trouble.

Oh and OT, but is anyone else dealing with some really weird weather??

[kakuehl]

Originally Posted by feelingreyt

My dad is a Pastor. It's funny because he is called to "counsel" sometimes. I say it's funny because even though my dad is a spirtual leader, I NEVER thought of him as a therapist, LOL! But, yeah, he kinda is!

There are two things that pastors do in the counseling arena. We can give spiritual direction to people in their faith walks and we can spend time with premarital, marital, etc. counseling. I am not prepared to do indepth counseling and I do refer people to licensed counselors. Mostly what I do is listen and try to teach relationship skills (including listening skills!) I will talk about God!

Love- the counseling sessions aren't as hard as those people who just want to complain and don't want to change anything about their lives.

[kakuehl]

I don't know, Leigh, it seems early for the thundershowers we are having.

[Suziebearhugs]

I love the twilight series and movie. I can't wait for the next movie to come out. I thought Jasper was a hottie, aside from Edward of course.

We've been busy as usual. Went to the zoo this weekend and spent half a day at the mall as well. Got a cute bathing suit for dd with sparkling sandals to go along with it.

I had a really good conversation with my dd's birthgrandma online. She actually brought up the fact that she wished her dd (birthmom) would have been more involved during our last visit. Which kinda suprised me. I was glad I wasn't the only one who noticied. I expressed my sadness and dissapointment as well that she had this great opportunity in her hands and didn't take advantage of it as much as she could have. But we had a really good conversation aside from that.

I also e-mailed my ds's great Aunt. She had written me a while back saying that she had a scrapbook that his granny had started making for him as well as a couple of other things she had put aside for him. So I e-mailed her apologizing for taking so long to get back to her and let her know that we'd love to get whatever his granny had set aside for him. We'll probably plan to meet with her sometime to pick it up. She doesn't really have a strong bond with our ds. She's only seen him a couple times so I'm not to0 worried about starting a whole lot of direct contact with her. So I've kinda been pushing back contacting her. I just don't feel ready to see her myself. I'm still dealing with the loss of his granny,(my dear friend) while also upset with the way things ended, with all the lies. I didn't tell her this. I just told her that we were really busy and we'd try and get together with her when things started to calm down a bit or that she could mail it if she prefered to. I want to maintian that connection with her for his sake but I don't want to start developing a real close direct relationship with her. I don't want to be too close to anyone in that family. Not after all that's happened and the impressions we got of the rest of the family when we met them at the funeral. In this case less direct contact is better.

[Suziebearhugs]

I did find out that my ds's birthmom is now about 4-5 months pregnant with another child while still heavily into drugs. We don't have direct contact with her because of her extensive drug use. But a relative usually keeps us informed where she is staying and how she is doing. I was planning on sending her some pictures and a letter for mothers day but recently found out about her pregnancy and that she is supposedly staying with her grandma out of the area and they don't know her new address.

Part of me is furious that she would once again put her baby and herself in this position again. PArt of me is sad for her and the baby. Sad that we can't have a relationship with her because of her drug use and now sad that I can't send her the pictures, letter and the letter my ds wrote for her either, now that we don't know her exact whereabouts.

But I'm glad we do have this relative who keeps us informed and up to date on what's happening with her as best as she can.

This relative has already adopted her last child she had and will probably adopt this one as well if/when it gets taken away as well.

While we haven't had a visit with this relative yet (even though we both keep saying we want to) it's nice to stay in contact with her so she can keep giving us updates on the birthmother and so that someday my ds can meet his half siblings and have a relationship with them if he wants.

Plus if his birthmom ever does decide she wants to change her life around and devlope a relationship with us she'll know who to go to, to get in contact with us.

I don't think his birthmom even knows that our ds's grandma even passed away yet. I'm sure she will be upset when she finds out because she was close with her and called her every now and then and sometimes very frequently and would get updated on our ds through her as well at times. So I'm sure it's just a matter of time before she figures it out if she hasn't already.

[feelingreyt]

I talked with biograndma yesterday. I called to talk with ds's bmom, but she wasn't there. We really need to set a date for a visit. She informed me that J had a bad weekend. Apparently she went on a binge and acted like a crazy person. She said she was at the dr trying to get more pills. I swear, this girl needs to get her act together.
She also told me that DCS called and said there was a spot open for J at the rehab and when J got home for her to call. I haven't talked to them again, but I will call later and see if she is planning on going this time. I honestly doubt it, but I pray she will decide to go.
I probably shouldn't air all this out on a forum, but I have no one else to talk to about this stuff. My family doesn't understand. Her family doesn't understand. Heck, I don't even understand why I let it get me so down. Other than the fact that I want a better life for her. I want her to get better for ds, and for her girls. It's so sad and tragic and senseless.
Oh well, anyway, I'm still going to try to get this visit scheduled. Maybe I shouldn't, but I'm going to try AGAIN to set this thing up.
I may have to settle for a short visit with just bmom and her mom. It's proving difficult to get everyone together(her girls and their guardian) at a time that is good for everyone. DH wants to be there too, so we have to do it on a weekend or in the evening. The FD doesn't want to be there(he can NOT stand bgrandma), so they want a visit during the week day. ARGGG! Oh well! I can only do what I can do! I may get a visit with Bmom when it's dh can be there, then try for a visit with the girls at a later time. However, DH really wants to see the girls as well. Remember, they are family and the youngest girl stayed with us a month and we all got really attached to her.
Please pray for us. We need it!

[feelingreyt]

Suzie,
I know how frustrating it is to see your child's bmom continue to make the same mistakes over and over.
I pray that this baby she is carrying will be born healty. It is so heartbreaking to see innocent children pay for the mistakes of their parents. IT's just so sad.

[thanksgivingmom]

I absolutely HATE to be a complainer, because Dee was WONDERFUL on the visit. We even sort of talked about the whole email situation. She said that she's just so busy, being a single Mom and everything, and I said that I get that - because the day was going so well and she was being so amazing and I thought, "So what if she takes a couple weeks to get back to me - if this is the payoff at the end, I can handle it."

THEN there were the earthquakes. I was online the night that there was an earthquake her in SoCal - it was a 5.0, and really rattled my house. I had a couple things fall off the walls, picture frames break, etc. I thought that some initial reports put the epicenter of the earthquake right between me and Dee (if not closer to Dee acutally). So, in the immediate, what do we all do after earthquakes? I call my parents knowing they'd be worried about me. Then I realized I felt the intense need to check in with Dee and Cupcake, so I sent them a quick email just saying that I hope Cupcake hadn't been to frightened and that everything was okay in their home.

I still haven't heard back! The earthquake was the day after our visit - and I know I said I was okay with not receiving email updates right away, but don't you think you'd respond to a very worried, "hope you're all okay through the earthquake" kind of email??

I mean, I'm sure they're fine, but I have the Momma Bear instinct too - whether I'm "supposed to" or not!

[belleinblue1978]

TG,

You're not wrong to expect a reply in a timely matter to something like that. It wasn't like it was just a shooting the breeze email. I'd email again I think, tell her you know she is busy but that when something like that happens a prompt reply is not only courteous but that it helps ease your mind as well.

[lahdh4]

TG, sorry to hear it. I understand, believe me.

[thanksgivingmom]

I know you guys do, that's why I hate to say anything! Most of the time I have it really good with Dee, and I know that....I guess it just made me wonder, what about when something serious DOES happen, you know?

(Of course you do!)

I told her I'd email her with the pictures I took at the visit, so I'll mention it then.

[feelingreyt]

TG,
Dee should have emailed you back ASAP. Not because you are cupcake's first mom, but because you are someone who cares and was concerned. An Earthquake is a scary thing and, yeah, you were right to be concerned. She should have responded. PERIOD!

That brings me to a question:
As a first mom, would you want to know when cupcake is ill. Like ill enough for special tests or if she was put in the hospital?(I would like responses from all first mom's, not just TG) I would call my mom right away if something like this is going on with my kids. I'd call my sister's and even a few friends and let them know. Would you, as a first mom, expect to be called? Would you be hurt if you weren't called? I'm just curious. There is no right or wrong answer. I know that this is a personal thing and everyone is different, however, your post about the quake made me think about certain sitautions that a first mom might WANT to know about.

[thanksgivingmom]

If Cupcake was admitted to the hospital? Absolutely I would want to know!!! If for no other reason than maybe I could have my medical records pulled, look into family history more deeply, even try to contact bdad if it got that far (which is one of the LAST things I want to do but I would need to at that point!) Maybe I could do something, be there for them, or at the very least send up some special thoughts and prayers (of course she's ALWAYS in my thoughts and prayers, but you know what I mean).

Having said that, I wouldn't expect to be called....but yes, if it was serious I think I'd be hurt if I wasn't called. It's like I mentioned, even though I placed, I still have the Momma Bear instincts. We didn't sign away those rights, you know?