[Suziebearhugs]

Originally Posted by lahdh4

Tammy, I argree with TG. After a visit I need a check in with my therapist or someone else to get me grounded. A number of times I don't remember the drive home. I am usually good for a few days but then the emotions hit BIG time and I just need to take care of me for a bit before I can do anything else. I don't pester them right after a visit. I usually wait about 2 weeks or so.

I still won't do a face-to-face. Right now this will only be done by phone. My luck with face to face has not had a great track record. Heck I still cannot send a note to Thank them for the last 2 batch of pictures that she sent.

Emotions after a vist can be hard on the adoptive parents and children involved as well. Even when everything went PERFECT. Sometimes those feelings come right away sometimes a week or so later.

When the adoptive parents have concerns it can take even longer to process everything that happened, all the feeligns involved and where to go from there to move foreward.

Maybe that's why it took so long for the adoptive parents to get back to you as well.

[thanksgivingmom]

Tara, absolutely! I haven't had a chance to do any knitting recently and if I wasn't going to be gone for the two weeks before my visit I might try to crank out some of those cupcakes! (But I don't think the people sitting next to me on my flights would appreciate me and my knitting needles! Heck, you probably can't even bring them on a plane anymore!)

I used to do crafty things with my roomie, but since she's moving out and I'm replacing her with a BOY roomie, I doubt he'll share the same knitting passion we both had - haha!

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by lahdh4

Tammy, I argree with TG. After a visit I need a check in with my therapist or someone else to get me grounded. A number of times I don't remember the drive home. I am usually good for a few days but then the emotions hit BIG time and I just need to take care of me for a bit before I can do anything else. I don't pester them right after a visit. I usually wait about 2 weeks or so.

I still won't do a face-to-face. Right now this will only be done by phone. My luck with face to face has not had a great track record. Heck I still cannot send a note to Thank them for the last 2 batch of pictures that she sent.

I appreciate your perspective very much Leigh. There truly are so many emotions that come with visits, on all sides but especially for you. And I fully respect the need for you (and the other families of my kids) to take care of you for awhile. All very true. And I accept the fact that they need time and that it's hard. And I will wait, as usual. I've been doing it for many years now...waiting for mutual contact and then, digging in my heels and contacting them again. I will do it because I said I would.

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by finallyamom0310

So here is a question for all of you: How often is too often to communicate? I have had a busy week with BMom and there have been at least four emails, one text each and one voicemail that I responded to via email as it was 5 am. I had just emailed yesterday (twice) but almost called her too. In the voice mail she left me she mentioned that she was off from work yesterday so that gave me the idea that maybe I should call while on my way home. I didn't call because I thought it would be too much in one day. What do you think? How often do you communicate when things are good?

This is probably my biggest struggle since I receive little to no feedback when contact actually happens. I have had to arbitrarily make my own rules in the void of mutual communication. When I call and leave a message (which is usually a couple weeks before the deadline I set to send an update if they don't want a visit), I always wait a few days before calling back. And after three messages, I leave it, and write a letter. That is usually the pattern with DS's other mom. DD's other mom is a completely different situation where I don't know how to contact her directly so I communicate through her parents. But it is all arbitrary. I guess I would say that if you are trying to make contact, and you're just missing each other's calls, treat it as you would any other relationship.

[taramayrn]

TGMOM and anyone else who knits or crochets - check out ravelry.com - you have to request an invitation and it takes some time, but when you get it it's great. You can share your projects, there are forums, and it's the largest database of patterns I've ever seen.


Also, totally unrelated to adoption, but can I just tell you how totally unimpressed I am that my due date has been changed to December 25th. Ugh....

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by taramayrn

TGMOM and anyone else who knits or crochets - check out ravelry.com - you have to request an invitation and it takes some time, but when you get it it's great. You can share your projects, there are forums, and it's the largest database of patterns I've ever seen.


Also, totally unrelated to adoption, but can I just tell you how totally unimpressed I am that my due date has been changed to December 25th. Ugh....

I would LOVE to learn to knit... maybe this winter, Tara, you'll be on mat leave, I can come down and you can teach me? HAHA!

As for Dec 25... sigh.. baby named Holly??? My sis was born of Christmas morning and I thought , at 3 1/2, she was the best present I could have ever gotten! And we were always jealous because ALL the family was always there to celebrate with her and no one came back in the middle of April for mine! I always dreamed of a December baby... Hugs!!!

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by thanksgivingmom

I used to do crafty things with my roomie, but since she's moving out and I'm replacing her with a BOY roomie, I doubt he'll share the same knitting passion we both had - haha!

Ah c'mon, my BIL cross-stitched his way through two lay-offs as a construction worker! I kid you not! Your influence might be just what he needs to bring out his crafy side!!! So when does Mr. Crafty (that is what I'm calling him from now on!) move in?

[taramayrn]

Tammy - totally - although I can say I've never really spent much time in your city, so maybe I'll have to come down and teach you to knit. Honestly it's easy.

[taramayrn]

Tammy - totally - although I can say I've never really spent much time in your city, so maybe I'll have to come down and teach you to knit. Honestly it's easy.

As for the xmas baby - what can you do?!

[taramayrn]

I moved the "knitting" posts to this thread:
Knitting Support Thread

[lovemy2boys]

Knitting support thread - that sounds so funny...

[thanksgivingmom]

lovemy....if you'd seen some of my attempts you'd see why I need support! haha

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by lovemy2boys

Knitting support thread - that sounds so funny...

I giggled too, when I first read that. Maybe that is where I need to hang out all the time, get my mind off other things!

[lovemy2boys]

TGmom - I can TOTALLY see you at a KA meeting with your little styrofoam cup of coffee...

Hi - my name is TG...and I'm a knitaholic...

[Vogi2002]

You knitters are such NERDS!!!


I only say that because I can't do it for the life of me. Plus i have NO patience for it. I love the outcomes though!!!!! I need to find a good friend that can knit...hmmm...maybe I should make a sign & put it in my front yard.