Tuesday Discussion - Underage Drinking

InBlindFaith · #1 07-24-2007, 09:22 AM

Some of have done it as teenagers...Underage Drinking.

How do you feel about Underage Drinking? Do you think there is a better and safer way to handle this?

SchmennaLeigh · #2 07-24-2007, 09:38 AM

As I believe that teenagers are less likely to understand the consequences of their actions and may do something as stupid as drive while under the influence, I don't think that it should take place. Ever. I don't think parents should be buying alcohol for their teens and I do think they should be penalized for whatever happens at a drinking party that they provided the alcohol for.

My Husband is a fire/medic. He has seen the detrimental results of allowing teens to drink even in a "well-supervised" situation. I am personally glad that I haven't seen everything that he has seen but I would prefer if he would STOP seeing it.

That said, when Nick is at the age where you have to be cool to drink, I hope that we will have taught him enough about self-respect and how the "in thing" isn't always cool in the big picture. I hope to be able to share stories of our personal nature, both mine and my Husband's as well as what Josh has seen, to show him that his life is worth more than a vote for "cool" in high school.

HBV · #3 07-24-2007, 09:43 AM

I am sure there will be disagreement on this, all I have is my own experience. My parents, now in their 60's, both had alcoholics in their backgrounds. They lived in Europe for a while when they were first married, and where, at the time anyway, there was no real drinking age. Growing up, they drank moderately, I never saw either of them drunk. We were allowed diluted wine at family dinners, sometimes sangria or champagne punch at a party once I got to high school and it just wasn't that big of a deal to me. We had a friend whose dad worked for one of the wineries and would give us one bottle of wine to share among 8 or 10 of us the summer after high school. Most of the parents just had more of a European approach to it---you drink wine or beer with food, and you don't drink to get drunk. Consequently, I didn't really feel it had been "forbidden" and never went totally nuts with it myself. Just my .02, but I feel like that's a more sensible approach.

This is only anecdotal evidence, of course, but my friends in college that went off the deep end drinking freshman year were the ones who came from"zero tolerance" backgrounds.

***crick*** · #4 07-24-2007, 09:52 AM

I am in the middle of the road on this one I think. I agree in part with Hbv's pov and yet I only apply that to my children. Meaning, I would not allow a party in my home where I served alcohol to my kids' friends, so in that regard, I agree with Jenna.

I don't really see underage drinking as a huge issue in my area, at least not in highschool. College Freshman...now that is HUGE. We've had several deaths related to alcohol poisioning and stunts etc. in the last year or two, especially with the fraternity/sorority environment. I know it's been going on for years, but that whole concept of "drink til you die" to get into a group...ugh! I think colleges/frats/sororities should face big time consequences if this happens at their schools.

browneyes0707 · #5 07-24-2007, 10:02 AM

Interesting topic, as my siblings and I were sharing "war" stories the other night! My parents did not allow drinking in the home, aside from the glass of wine (one) at Thanksgivng dinner type of stuff. Social drinking was not allowed. My father is a police officer, and would tell us again and again that he would be hypocritical to allow underage drinking.

Did I drink? Sure. Not to excess, for fear of getting caught. My fear kept me in line for the most part, and my friends fear of bringing me home drunk kept us all in line. Unfortuantely, there was a lot of drinking in parking lots, and cars, as most of our friends parents were the same way, only one or two allowed us to drink, as long as we stayed over. I was taught the dangers of drinking and driving, unfortunately, sometimes it wasn't that easy to tell who was plowed and who wasn't.

I noticed that as my parents grew a bit lax with the other siblings, the age they first got really drunk went down. The first time I was "wasted" was around 16, and that was by accident. for some of my sibs, it was more like 14. At 14 I wasn't that interested.

My SIL is currently concerned about her daughter, 15, who is getting to that age of curiosity, and how to handle it. She's on the strict side, but she realizes too that kids will do what they are determined to do, but at least she can say she tried to curtail it and not condone it and educate her to make smart choices. As my DD is at that age too, I wonder and hope she is making the right choices also

browneyes0707 · #6 07-24-2007, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crick

I am in the middle of the road on this one I think. I agree in part with Hbv's pov and yet I only apply that to my children. Meaning, I would not allow a party in my home where I served alcohol to my kids' friends, so in that regard, I agree with Jenna.

I don't really see underage drinking as a huge issue in my area, at least not in highschool. College Freshman...now that is HUGE. We've had several deaths related to alcohol poisioning and stunts etc. in the last year or two, especially with the fraternity/sorority environment. I know it's been going on for years, but that whole concept of "drink til you die" to get into a group...ugh! I think colleges/frats/sororities should face big time consequences if this happens at their schools.

When I was 21, I had transfered to a new college that had a very quiet campus life except for those involved in activities. So I decided to pledge a sorority, and they had a VERY strict no alcohol policy for the pledges. They were not allowed in the campus bar or in rooms where there was drinking involved, and even though I was of age, it applied to me too. Any violations and the chapter could lose it's membership on campus. As a result, the soroity used to torture us IN REVERSE that we were not allowed to drink for the love of the group. Not to say we didn't sneak a drink or two....

So there are some campuses who take it very seriously, and this was 12 years ago. I'm surprised in this day and age not more colleges do!

**thanksgivingmom** · #7 07-24-2007, 11:18 AM

When I pledged we werent allowed to drink either Brown.

I have teenage cousins and nephews and neices, and I know my cousin drinks. I lecture her and I tell her horror stories and I tell her she doesn't have to do it. Her parents are strict too, but she sneaks. It's so hard. Sometimes it feels like there is no "right" way to do it.

And call me an enabler, but the only advice she has ever listened to regarding drinking is to call me if she needs a ride so that she doesn't drive or ride with someone else.

browneyes0707 · #8 07-24-2007, 11:20 AM

That's not being an enabler TG that is being a smart cookie

Everyone I knew knew if you got in trouble, call someone!

**thanksgivingmom** · #9 07-24-2007, 11:28 AM

yeah, it's being smart, but I don't want her to think, well I can drink cause TG will come pick me up, no big deal.

***taramayrn*** · #10 07-24-2007, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thanksgivingmom

yeah, it's being smart, but I don't want her to think, well I can drink cause TG will come pick me up, no big deal.

TGmom -

My mom always said that to me. I had my first drink when I was 16, however I did drink quite a bit when I was 17. She said if I ever needed a ride then to call her, if that would keep me from driving.

I NEVER once called her. One, I would have slept in my car or walked home rather than call my mother for a ride after I had been drinking.

I grew up with a recovering alcoholic as a father. So, for the first ten years of my life (my dad left after that) I never saw an adult drink let alone be drunk. I don't think that's healthy either on some level. I think show kids how to enjoy alcohol in a healthy non excessive way is good. Not that I think that parents should be drinking around kids, but you know, a drink here and there socially is okay.

I do not agree with parents buying their kids alcohol. My husband's parents did that and I just think it is sooo wrong. They had the attitude that at least the kids were there and safe. Um, Chad and his friends were about 14 when this started happening - I don't think so.

**thanksgivingmom** · #11 07-24-2007, 12:48 PM

Oh yeah, I would not buy my kids alcohol to party with...I grew up with a friend whose parents did that. If you showed up you handed over your keys and couldn't leave until the next day. But then there were all these kids that didn't learn how to drink without supervision. When my friends parents weren't around they didn't know when to cut themselves off or anything because it had always been done for them.

My mom always said to call too, I never once did. But for my cousin I think because I'm NOT her parent she is more comfortable calling (considering she has...). I didn't have someone like that when I was growing up. Although if I absolutely had to I would call one of my brothers before my mom!

txrnr · #12 07-24-2007, 01:21 PM

I'm a high school teacher at a "good" high school. I'm constantly amazed at how much kids drink, and how many parents are permissive about it. (Parents will tell you) So many of my students have had at least 1 MIP (minor in possession) ticket, and some of them more than one. Finding alcohol at school is a daily thing. Their myspace pages are plastered with pictures, as are their cell phones. I've even had kids call me from jail. (worse yet, I've had their parents call me asking for advice - I teach Law)

Teenage drinking may be a rite of passage, most of us did it, but we don't have to make it easy on them. Kids crave boundaries, even though they push against them and complain constantly. And is alcohol isn't one of their boundaries...guess what's next?

And lest you think I don't have a high opinion of our kids... I do. I LOVE todays teens. Many of them are quite civc minded, despite their reputations, and I wouldn't trade my job for any other.

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