[crmemory]

I am curious for those of you who have met your aparents and/or placed your baby independently, how did you initially meet?

We have been considering all our options for "getting the word out" that we would like to adopt a baby. We just have trouble paying an agency or lawyer $6000+ just for an intial introduction. My ideal would be to meet a bmom through mutual friends, or whatever, and THEN go to a non-profit agency together for counseling, paperwork, etc. I have heard everything from newspaper personal ads (not legal in our state anyway), websites, "call me" business cards, and "dear bmom letters" sent to everyone and their brother, to billboards and myspace ads. Obviously, we don't want to do anything that would offend a bmom or even remotely appear as though we are devaluing the miracle of a baby, but at the same time, we can't just sit, do nothing, and expect bmom's to find us.

Where is the compromise, and what has worked for you? What were some things that truly offended you? Just curious for some ideas. Thanks in advance!

[ModernDayBradyBunch]

A pregnant mother considering adoption is simply an "Expectant Mother" or emom until the papers have been signed. Only then is she truly a Birthmother or Bmom.

[Leigh131313]

Crmemory

Let me first say - welcome to the site!! I hope you find this forum to be a place where you can learn a ton about adoption.

As ModernDayBradyBunch mentioned, on this forum it is proper etiquette to refer to someone who is still considering their options as an eparent (as in expecting) or an eparent considering adoption.

I know it is hard to know these things - most agencies do use the term birthmom when really, until relinquishments are signed, they are still just the parents.

If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact myself or any member of our moderating team.

It takes a while to learn the lingo - don't worry, you'll catch on!!



On the theme of your post - I'm sorry I can't be of any help. I live in Canada, and here it is illegal to do private solicitation.

Hopefully some of our members can steer you in the right direction!!

[crmemory]

Sorry about the wrong terms. I found one other site (I don't care to go back to) that absolutely jumped all over me because I didn't use the term "bmom" -- and they were totally against independent and open adoptions (that should've clued me in! Anyway, thanks, and I have gone back to edit!

[Mommy24]

I met my bson's parents through the agency after I had gone over MANY profiles of waiting couples. I chose to meet them after feeling a slight connection through their profile. The agency set up the meeting between all of us, questions were asked from both sides, we chatted a bit about what I wanted for my child, they told me more about themeselves. I told them there, in front of my counselor that I wanted them to parent my child. It was a very emotional day, but I felt they were the kind of parents I wanted for my child.

Good luck to you and Welcome to the forums!

[Leigh131313]

Not to worry - you'll catch on!!!