Birth certificate question - Page 2

***kakuehl*** · #16 09-21-2007, 08:09 PM

I have nothing... except the bills (LOL)

keds · #17 09-22-2007, 01:53 AM

I had everything - bracelets, lock of hair, professional birth photos taken at the hospital, ID bracelets, short list of names and I too had to send away for his OBC and received it 3 months later. I kept everything and when I met him last year I gave it all to him. Well, I took it with me with photos in a small album of all of us, not thinking he would want to keep it but he asked and I said yes. Thankfully, he made copies for me. I think it meant alot to him and yet it was so hard to give up but I realized shortly thereafter I received something more in return - his friendship. All the best.

Arruniel · #18 09-23-2007, 10:54 AM

I was forced to fill out the birth certificate information, but not allowed to keep it. All I recieved was an unofficial record of birth. Can you believe it? I filled it out, but I'm not allowed to see it!

Scarlet Moon 13 · #19 09-23-2007, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by connersmom

Just a random question that occured to me today.

How many of you first/birth parents kept the child's birth certificate. Our daughter's birthmom kept hers and I wondered how common that is. What made me think about it was that I was filling out her book and I realized that I don't know how long she was or how much she weighed. What other items did you keep and why?

Many of us were never told we could get a copy of the bc before the adoption was final. Many don't think about it. I was never offered anything from the hospital. My son's amom never kept anything.

Just as, until the adoption is final, you could have sent for a copy of the orginal. No one tells you that.

Have you thought about asking the bmom? Or see if the hospital will give you a copy of the babies hospital records.

Scarlet Moon 13 · #20 09-23-2007, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kakuehl

I have nothing... except the bills (LOL)

ironic laughter here, if we could have paid the bills, my mom might, only might have let me keep my baby.

When I asked to go back and get him the day I left the hospital, she asked me, "who would pay the bills?"

Then she went out with her boyfriend leaving me alone.

grumble, oh so long ago, he is 43 now, and we have a good reunion. Then years Oct 8th

MrsHoot · #21 10-01-2007, 12:15 PM

I was so young and uninformed I had no idea that I could request a copy of the OBC...so I have nothing, except for a few faded photos a friend took of me and BD in the hospital nursery - not even a copy of the adoption papers.

Scarlet Moon 13 · #22 10-01-2007, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsHoot

I was so young and uninformed I had no idea that I could request a copy of the OBC...so I have nothing, except for a few faded photos a friend took of me and BD in the hospital nursery - not even a copy of the adoption papers.

actually, it would be unusual if you did have a copy of the adoption papers.

I have heard of a only a very few who have any paper work at all. Most of those are new.

I think in the older adoptions, since we were supposed to go home and forget it ever happened. Not giving us anything to hold was part of it.

when I searched for my son, I was given a copy of the relinquish form I signed. Just turn 16 and signig away a baby they weren't even going to let me see, and then they wouldn't let me hold him.

Some things can still make me scream, ever after 43 years.

connersmom · #23 10-04-2007, 07:26 AM

I sent off for the birth certificate, so now I do have all her vitals information so I can put it in her album. As for contacting her birthmom, she cut off contact with us without explanation 5 mths ago. I don't know why-- but maybe one day she will be in a position where she wants to resume it. Until then, I just continue to send updates and pictures. If she doesn't want to read/see them, she doesn't have to.

SchmennaLeigh · #24 10-04-2007, 07:35 AM

I have nothing either.

connersmom · #25 10-04-2007, 08:04 AM

As an extension of this topic, I also wonder about everyone's experience in the hospital. How did the nurses, doctors, etc. view you (birthparents and adoptive parents)? Many of the nurses acted like we were there to steal a baby in the beginning. C tried to make this less awkward for us by treating us like family (and we really are the only real family she had there since her mom dropped her at the curb and left her to have the baby alone). C. would refer to me as "mom" and right after our daughter was born, she insisted that the nurse hand her to me. Now our situation was a little different than most in that this was our second adoption of a biological sibling-- so we already had a relationship with C. If the adoptive parents were there in the hospital, did you find that the hospital staff was judgemental toward either side? I think their attitude toward the situation was why they made sure that C. went home with all the paperwork.

browneyes0707 · #26 10-04-2007, 08:50 AM

Funny, I was treated like the one who was going to steal the baby, and I gave birth to her. My friends were not allowed to even look at her through the window (which she was placed out of view to boot) And forget about the woman who came into the room to have me sign for the BC, when I told her the birthfather was not going to be visiting me because he was in school out of state, I got the "mmmhmm riiiiight" look. I was not treated like a mother, I was treated like an unwed pregnant teenager who should be ashamed of herself.

And when I got to be wheeled out of the hospital with my daughter in my arms, by a-mom I wanted to say SEE! SHE has the respect for me I deserve, why don't you!!!

But I've come to terms with it now. Don't really care what they think anyway

***taramayrn*** · #27 10-04-2007, 09:46 AM

I was treated well by the nurses at the hospital. My doctor didn't agree with my choice for an open adoption and tried to convince me that putting my baby in the nursery, rather than have him room in with me, and not see him would be a good idea. Thank goodness for my mom who stood her ground and said no.

SchmennaLeigh · #28 10-04-2007, 10:18 AM

I had the opposite experience, connersmom. I was basically not allowed to see my child unless the adoptive family was there until something was said to the staff. (There was one nurse who was on my side.) It was awful and it pains me to ever step foot into that hospital (though I had to when my great-grandmother was ill). J&D had full access at all times.

belleinblue1978 · #29 10-04-2007, 12:59 PM

I was treated pretty poorly by both hospitals I dealt with. The two crowning moments were when I was asked if I was going to put a father on the birth certificate b/c this was an adoption (father was standing right there) and when one of the kiddo's docs called my boyfriend at work claiming he couldn't find me to find out if I had any STD's. Ummmm hello I just had a c-section less than 24 hours ago, where the heck do you think I am?

keds · #30 10-04-2007, 04:45 PM

I was treated badly by some staff and with great care by others. I was told by one that I didn't "deserve a healthy baby"! Others allowed me as many visits as I could possibly want before I left the hospital. I snuck in as I didn't want my parents knowing (as I was placing him for adoption). I'll never forget how he smelled, the noises he made, and how I felt holding him. I too had to order the birth certificate and we put both our names on it and I received the official one in the mail 3 months later (that was hard!) and I gave it to him when I met him.

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