Question

lahdh4 · #1 09-28-2006, 05:19 PM

Has anyone used a neutral party to do communication between bparents and aparents?
Just looking for some thoughts....

bajj · #2 09-28-2006, 06:07 PM

Both of my boys' birthmothers prefer to coorespond through the agency. We send letters and pics there and they send letters sometimes, too.

jenng7 · #3 09-29-2006, 08:33 AM

Because I am in a semi-open adoption plan, i am forced to go through the agency, who is supposed to be "neutral" but I wouldn't necessarily consider that to be true. Who else would you use? I don't trust the agency that I used as far as I could throw them.

jenn

SchmennaLeigh · #4 09-29-2006, 11:10 AM

Yeah, I'd rarely count an agency as neutral.

What's up, Leigh? Everything okay?

mom2GRLC · #5 09-29-2006, 11:30 AM

We adopted through our local DHS. So using them as a neutral person/agency is not even a possible source.

I've found it is easier to maintain contact with the birthgrandparents(in all of my kids cases that have open contact (three out of four). While they are still very attached to the grandchild and situation they are also seperated from it enough to be supportive and understanding of both our needs and their childs (birthparents) needs. Grandparents have been the best (GLUE) that has held it all together in each case.

Gracie86 · #6 09-29-2006, 12:05 PM

I went through an agency and my case worker was wonderful. I could call her anytime and she was always available to talk to me. I would send pictures and letters and names of lifelong family friends to my case worker and she would forward them on. I could call and just say hi and tell her that I was feeling down and she would call the amom and get a little update for me. Later when I reunited with the amom and our daughter, amom said she appreciated the fact that I called often with updates. I think that is why I was able to meet my daughter again when she was 12. I am very lucky. The only thing I wish, is that the agency would have done a better check into the aparents home and life. Lots of things that I didn't know then, I sure know now and the guilt is somewhat overwhelming sometimes even to this day. Best of luck to you.

lahdh4 · #7 09-29-2006, 05:47 PM

Jenna, in a nutshell, no.

SchmennaLeigh · #8 09-29-2006, 06:03 PM

Leigh; feel free to PM me.

*sending big hugs*

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