[Relieved]

If you are a bmother or bfather in reunion of a closed adoption, could you please post here, as well as state your position in the triad so that I may add you to my buddy list.

I must say that I commend all those in open adoption, be it semi or full open adoption. This option wasn't available to me 27 years ago, as far as I remember being informed about. I enjoy sharing in reading postings by and from mothers/fathers in open adoptions and admire your strength and endurance in loving your child together through the developmental years as well as through their young adult years to adulthood.

I would however like to read from bmother and bfathers in reunion of a closed adoptions, for they hold a familiar experience with me. There are so many posts that it would take me my lifetime to search you all out.

The support I have received on this forum has truly amazed me. I am thankful to all of you for sharing your experiences and love.

[Leigh131313]

Hey there..

Just wondering how things are going?

besides, can't hurt to bump this, right?

Leigh

[Relieved]

Leigh,
Thanks for posting. I really shouldn't and can't complain about my relationship with my birthdaughter. We communicate periodically by e-mail or telephone. Her and her fiancee' are both working two jobs to pay for their wedding and new home that they bought. They truly are amazing. She is busy on top of work with wedding arrangements. I'm excited but feel left out of the excitement and don't want to ruffle any feathers so I just wait to hear how the planning is coming along.
I still feel the desire to have a heart-to-heart with her parents, but won't push it in fear of stirring emotions.

I realize how blessed I am to be in reunion with her, so I'm trying my best to remember that time will bring further results...
...I'll have to continue to remain patient and pray for the best.

How about you?

[Leigh131313]

I'm glad you are doing well, and still desiring a relationship with her parents. I'm sure with time, things will get easier. You have been hoping for this for a long time, let's hope they just need some time.

I'm doing good. Actually my husband and I just confirmed today that we are going to start the process to adopt again, we are going to plan for April. He spoke to our financial advisor and figured out where we were going to pull the money from. I was a bit surprised because he asked if I wanted to start right now... It's funny tho...when you have a certain time in your head, it's hard to move it up. We've been talking about it, and said when ds is 2 we will do it, but today it's official. I'm going to start getting our Dr. appointments, and getting the criminal checks done and such...Hopefully we'll have it all together so things will be smooth in April.... and then there is the dreaded "Letter" to write...

I also arranged to buy a toddler bed for DS...

and there was an awesome sale at the second hand stores (everything 50% off)

So, all this fun stuff made up for my sons horrible mood this morning...ahh the terrible two's! So funny yet so exhausting.


Yeah...you probably didnt need to hear all that...guess I needed to type it..LOL!!

I'm glad to see your reply..I've been wondering how things are going. I thought there may have been some new conversations since the meeting. Even without any word from them, it has to feel good to have everything out in the open now, for all of you.

Leigh

[kune]

Relieved
Congratulations on your reunion - they are wonderful but oh so hard to understand.
I'm a birthmom from the closed era - my bson (32 yr old)found me 4 years ago and we continue to have a relationship and a part in each other's lives.

The question of "correct contact" by phone / e-mail / f2f / letters is always a sticky one. Noone really can define what is correct. It seems to differ with every reunion. I was probably a little too needy at the start, but now we have both settled into a semi-comfortable routine that is OK with both of us. If I feel the need to call him - I do. And he calls when he can or when he needs to.

I suggest that you initiate contact every now and again. Don't always leave it up to her or she may think you are only responding to her rather than wanting to take the relationship up to another level. Everyone needs to feel wanted and needed.

All the best with this wonderful time in your life. Sometimes it doesn't feel like we are satisfied, but I am sure you are a lot happier now that you have knowledge of who she is, than you were in those not-knowing years. Small steps are good, even if we want to run head on into these relationships.

Ann

[Leigh131313]

Ann

That is an awesome quote.

Leigh

[Montraviatommyg]

I'm glad this was bumped up as I was offline for a week . My son's adoption was closed (born 1981) and we have been in reunion since Aug 2004 .

Pip

[kune]

Leigh - so is your quote awesome. I try to live by yours I plan to go out disgracefully - well the mind is willing but sometimes the body is a little reluctant

Ann

[Leigh131313]

"I plan to go out disgracefully"


LMAO!!!!!!!

Leigh

[Montraviatommyg]

Great motto to have, behaving disgracefully is fun .

Pip

[mamabee]

Hi...I am a bMom of a closed adoption in 1982 and reunited July 2004. It has been a rocky ride but I am still hanging on.

[ChristiBender]

Bump... I am a reunited adoptee from the closed era... just wondering what kinds of questions you have Relieved?

Kune.. wonderful to see you here.... you too Leigh!

[kune]

Christi -
And wonderful to see you too - It's like playing tag sometimes- all over the forums.

Ann