[taramayrn]

Hey -

So we've talked about what we need or wish we could HEAR from the other party in our adoptive relationship. I'd like to talk about what we wish we could SAY to the party in our relationship but feel you can't.
So:

What do you wish you could say?

Why do you feel you can't say it?

What would help you say the things you wish/need to say?

[Relieved]

Originally Posted by FH-taramayrn

Hey -

So we've talked about what we need or wish we could HEAR from the other party in our adoptive relationship. I'd like to talk about what we wish we could SAY to the party in our relationship but feel you can't.
So:

What do you wish you could say?

Why do you feel you can't say it?

What would help you say the things you wish/need to say?

What I would like to say is...

...that I wish they would not feel threatened by me.

...that they have done a wonderful job raising her to be the beautiful young women she is.

...that I would like to spend time with them to share picutures and stories.

...that it hurts me to hear that they "don't care to have a relationship with me."

...that I hope we can share in future special events/occasions together for the sake of "our child"

I feel I can't say it...

...because my bdaughter asked me not to make contact with them in fear of offending them.

...in fear of losing contact with my bdaughter, because she asked me not to.

What would help you say the things you wish/need to say...

...it would help me if my bdaughter would allow me to speak heart-to-heart with her parents without her feeling she needs to be the mediator.

... it would help me if her parents would allow me the opportunity to speak heart-to-heart with them.

[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

I know it is going to sound offensive, but I would like to ask Bug's mother if she has ever used birth control. Since I have now adopted the second child she has lost to the state in less than 2 years...she she has expressed that she wants another one so she can keep it when she is "clean"...how can she keep doing this to children?

I would like to ask Bear's mother to be honest with me and tell me if she REALLY wants the open adoption agreement she signed, or did she just do it to appease the adults in her life at the time. She has not shown one bit of interest since August, and I just don't want to keep Bug hanging out there with false hope when he is older.

On the flip side, without the "I can't thank you enough", I REALLY wish I could put into words to them the love I feel for their children and how grateful I am to be their amom. But words just can't capture my feelings without sounding shallow. Maybe that is why love is such a strong emotion.

[mom2justynsarah]

Things I wish I could say to Sarah's birth dad:

DO SOMETHING! Your wife and kids are hurting! Help them! Find a job. Get a roof over their head. Find a home. You have beautiful children. Why can't you see they are in pain? Get them into counseling. Get your act together and start being a man. Your family needs you!

I can't say them because:

It's not my place.

What would help?

Nothing- I am not the person to say these things to him. But I sure wish I could.

[banjo]

Things I wish I could say to my bdaughter:
Sorry
Come back and live with us.

Why don't I say that?

Because she is happy where she is.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Can I please, PLEASE have a visit?!?!

I feel I cant because they didnt commit to that.... they are not in contact with their son's biomom and I couldnt handle the weirdness in the aftermath of being told no.

What would help... and inclination that the answer may be yes....

Bleh

[MajaHedman]

I wish I could tell them that their absenses hurt me. Work is not an excuse to fall out of contact for nearly six months.

I don't tell them that b/c I am afraid of losing any contact I have with them now.

what would help? If they would voice that we are important to them in our own right and that they won't cut contact with us for no reason.

[lahdh4]

Originally Posted by FH-taramayrn

Hey -
So we've talked about what we need or wish we could HEAR from the other party in our adoptive relationship. I'd like to talk about what we wish we could SAY to the party in our relationship but feel you can't.
So:
What do you wish you could say?
Why do you feel you can't say it?
What would help you say the things you wish/need to say?

I wish that I could say that I would like more visits and hearing more often from you. I look forward to the pictures and visits and would like more.
I am just afraid of saying the wrong thing and having all contact cut off.
Being able to have a conversation with just L and myself so we can both say what we need to say so that we understand where each other is coming from.