[IowaDad]

We have had nothing but positive experiences with our girls bmom. The bdad seems to not want to make contact if he doesn't want to but his parents are really good about cards and making it to visits.

We were in the courtroom when the bparents voluntarily TPR'd. We cried with them and we know how strong they had to be to do what was right.

We recognize Mother's day and bmom's bday and make sure that school pictures and report cards are sent out ASAP.

If you have an truly open adoption that is the least you can do.

I understand Aparents trepidation about frequent contact. We were getting sucked into a co-parenting situation with previous foster parents, very early on, and I know how impossible that can make the situation in your own home. That may be the fears of Aparents with an open adoption but I wouldn't really know without having been there.

Peace be with you all.

[79nic]

Iowadad,

Thank you!!!

It is so nice to hear from an adad who is finding open adoption to be a good experience.

I am a bmom in an open adoption relationship, and it's been wonderful.

Wish that everyone was as open-minded and compassionate as you.

How old is your child now? You mentioned school pics....

Nicole

[IowaDad]

We send out 3x5 school pics to bmom and bfparents. We adopted them when they were 11 and 8. That's somewhat older than I think alot of people adopt kids but they needed a home and were wanting them after 5 months of transitional visits.

The only problem is the consistency of bparent contact. We have a scheduled calling time but it is rarely used. Calls are about once a month.

One thing that really bothered me with the situation was the looking-down-the-nose at bparents practised by social workers and other foster parents the girls had been with. It was pretty disqusting. It seems that people don't know or want to understand substance abuse or multi-generational poverty. They want to see people as bad, only, and not see the good in them or the hundreds of shades of grey that surround the childrens situation they only want to see a simple black and white situation.

I have never forgotten that everything we do is for our kids and what's best for them in the long term.

My wife though is the anchor that keeps this ship from floundering.