[ohmandy]

i was just wondering, because i am begining the process of searching for my birthmom and hope she wont be too surprised by my contacting her (if everything goes according to plan)

[l-thompson]

Every situation is so different , every person is different, so there are many different responses to your questions..

I am a reunited adoptee and I can share my experience with you however not every reunion has been as wonderful as mine - the outcome was more than I could ever have imagined. To answer your questions from my experience:

My birthparents always thought about their firstborn - thats me! Birthdays, Christmas's, special family occasions - I was always with them in their hearts they tell me.
They always hoped that one day they would hear from me but as the years went by they had given up hope. They never felt it was their place to search for me ( the result of being told to move on and forget by the adoption society) They also had no idea where to even begin. They tell me the day contact was made was one of the happiest days of their life - they said their family circle was now complete.

I have been incredibly blessed - I have been welcomed with open arems and unlimited, unconditional love. Not all reunions are like this so I guess my advice would be - be prepared for everything. Keep your expectations to a minimum and that way you could be pleasantly surprised, if its really positive but not too disappointed if the response is not so good.

You will not know until you try - regardless of the outcome you will have peace of mind knowing that you did actively search.

Best Wishes to you.

[xarmyboy]

I am a bfather and yes I think of my son every day. I have been seaching now for about a year with little success but I believe that someday I will find him.
I don't "expect" to hear from him but if he was to call me up I would be thrilled. I have found his bmom and I know that she would be happy too.
I suppose if you find your birthfamily on a site like this, then you know that they are looking as well and are open to and hoping for reunion.
Good luck and I hope that you find what you are looking for.

[angiej352003]

I have not seen my daughter in 19 years. I think of mary everyday.I am searching for her now, waiting for the day I can hold her in my arms again. GOOD LUCK IN YOUR SEARCH, and remember you are always thought about.

[joeswife]

My husband's birthmother not only thought about him but she was actually in a postion to ask about him from time to time. (That was something that we never knew.)

My DH is a b-father as well. I can not speak for him but I am not even that child's mother and I think of her. I love that child that is not even mine so much becuase she is my husband's child. So I can not fathom a birthmother not thinking of her child.

I know that some do not they try to push it from their minds. I have to think that they are truly in the minority howver. Every person that I know that has sought out thier birth parents it has at least turned out to be a good thing. Not always the great thing it has been for my husband.

Good luck.

Jennifer

[maestherd]

As a birth father, I must thrust in my thoughts. I think of my daughter every day. She will turn 18 this month, and I am desperately seeking her. She is my daughter, no matter what the birth certificate says. I love her dearly and I want her in my life as much as she is willing to be. A call from her would make my heart complete. I am married and have 2 children. My 11 year-old wants to meet his sister. (My other son is 15 months, but I know he will want to meet her as well).

If you were my daughter, my advise would be to call me, write me, e-mail me, send me a singing telegram, ... whatever you like, but contact me.

[celticwolfie]

As a bmom I can only say what I would want my bdaughter to know. I would want her to contact me. I am searching for her now that she is 18. I want to give her a hug and let her know how much I love her and want to get to know her. I gave her up out of love, not because I didn't want her.
So, search, just remember some bmom had a bad experience. If you have a rocky reunion understand that it may not be you, but the experience that you remind her of. I have a friend who contacted her bmom. The bmom wanted nothing to do with her. Turns out the poor girl had been a victim of rape and the contact was a trigger for the incedent. So, still contact, just if you don't get a loving responce understand it isn't you, but maybe the circumstances in which you were conceived.
My best of luck to you. Not a day goes by that I haven't thought of my daughter and sent my love her way.

[olloyd]

I am a birth mom searching for her son. yes, my son . no matter what he was my son first. I hope to reunite some day. He is now 25 and yes I'm scared. If he were to contat me I would first like him to know why he was given up. I want him to know that for 24 hours he was all mine and I just held and smelled him as much and as tight as I could. I was 13 so I really didn't have a choice. I wanted to keep him but my parents wouldn't let me.

What would I hope to achieve out of the reunion? I want to know how his life was every day, moment and year. I would like for him to get to know me and my family and if he's willing to have relationship with me and give me another chance.

Do I think about him? You bet I do all the time and for the two years everyday because the name I gave him at birth is my password on my computer.

I hope yours goes well, good luck....

[booper]

Being a birthmother I have to say yes, we think of our child quite often. However, I was confident that I had done the right thing by giving her up to a family that would raise her as I couldn't at the time. Since then, I have found that this is not always the case. I located her a few months ago and things did not go well. I found that her adoptive parents were not open with her about being adopted,plus alot of other things, which has left her with a lot of anger and bitterness. Unfortunately, that anger was aimed at me.
As hard as I tried, it just did not go well.
I can say that I believe every birth mother expects (and probably hopes) to hear from that one child they didn't get to raise. I would suggest doing it very gradually, like maybe have a therapist or counselor call her first to see how she feels about having you in her life. Good luck!

[angela m thomas]

iam a birth mom and was wondering do you wish that your parents would look for you or would you rather them let you look for them? because when my child turns 18yrs old i would really want to find him. i would do everything in my power to find him. i love him so much and i would want to tell him that im sorry for everything he might have went through. that im here now and i will never ever leave again. my fear is maybe he wont want me in his life but im at least going to try. maybe he will welcome me with open arms and heart as i would him the same.

[sammytiffee]

hi im a birthmom and yes i think about my kids all the time and i hope they want to see me when they get older i love and miss them alot good luck with your seach

[bizwoman]

I'm a birth mom and yes, I think of both my children every day of my life.

Take care.

Brenda

[Nightwatcher]

Every day I think of my little girl. She is 25 now. For years I would cry myself to sleep, the anquish of my fears.

I wonder what she is like, if she had good parents, and a thousand other questions.

The records were closed and are still closed.

I hope someday, I will open my front door and she will be there.

I hope all goes well for you in your search.

[KrzAngGrL]

I'm in processing of searching for my birthmom. I hope I can find something to contact my brithmom. It has been 23 years now that I have never met her.

[DavidKed]

I am a birthfather. I have thought of my son everyday for 17 years.

We are exchanging letters now.