[bmom and adoptm]

Of course, i know that there are no easy answers and really, when someone decides to take their life and does in fact end it...how can one completely blame another?
However, i must say that the way that my bdaughter went about ending her life has some strong implications about her feeling toward her parents. After raising 3 biological children and now recently adopting 4 Russian children (here in the States for just over 2 months), i know that we parents cannot be fully responsible for the actions of our children. They are their own persons....whether biological or adopted.
However, what i saw in this family who accepted the responsibility for raising Shelbie was a unique sort of parental selfishness. Gosh, there is so much pain in even the way they dealt with me in the very short time that they chose to relate to me. They hid any problems from me (actually
had never even spoken to me even though i had a friendship/relationship with Shelbie....until Shelbie was so broken, so depressed. I remember the first phone conversation i had with her amom. She called for the first time and wanted to know if there was mental illness in my family. She was rude.
But enough for now....thankfully, i've got some very precious children to attend to at this moment. Hey, study up on suicide....the professionals say that there are usually warning signs....notes, attempts, pleas for help. A child with a friend at the pool would not be likely to see those signs, but others who are older and wiser might notice something....gun barrel shaving in the garage....they might have the sense to lock up the guns and ammunition if someone in the home was deeply depressed.

[Waiting4baby03]

bmom, I am sorry you took offense to my reply. I just have been touched on the other side of suicide and wanted to perhaps help others a bit to realize that some people are ignorant to the signs of suicide and depression and may not always be aware of the signs that are before them. I am very sorry, upsetting you was not my intent.
Bridget

[stevg]

Are there any birth mothers (birth parents) out there who changed their minds and decided not to place their children for adoption and in return gave their children exactly the life that they had hoped they would not have? From an adoptive parent whose dirt poor mother decided to keep her child.

[BrandyHagz]

Stev,

These people wouldn’t be birthmothers or birth parents, they would simply be parents, and I highly doubt that they would participate in a forum centered around adoption, if, in fact, their life hadn’t been touched by adoption.