[wheresmyoj]

To get up to speed, go here: ... practically put up for adoption by someone put up for adoption ...

I am here to get another side of perspective on my *situation*. Unfortunately for me there isn't much advice from the adoptees side of things. As birthmothers, I hope you might give me some insight as to what you might want to happen.

In summery: My birthmother was adopted and left me to be raised by her adoptive-parents. Thanks to NH laws, I have been able to get her birth-records. She has no interest in contacting her birthparents (sad) and I am going to go ahead with it in a month or so, my reasons being medical history, genealogy and, if they want, a relationship. To ice the cake, I don't know my birthfather but have a lead as to who he was- I say was because, legend has it, he was shot in Florida in a drug sting... how Hollywood. But I was given his mother's name (my biological grandmother) and that she lives in Cape Cod. I Googled her name followed by MA and lo, a woman sharing her name came up on Cape Cod.

I am posting here because this is a *special* situation. I have kind of figured out how I'm going to contact my biological mother's biological parents, and any ideas would be appreciated, but mostly, I want to contact my birthfather's mother, who may not even know that her deceased son possibly got a girl pregnant in high school, and doesn't know I exist?

I respect your opinions. Thanks!

And I apologize if it isn't appropriate to post this here.

-steph

[babygirlj]

Steph, go for it and be truthful. This is a situation you were thrown into and you have nothing to be ashamed of. I know how terrified you must be, but if you don't contact these possible relatives of yours, you'll never know. Hope for the best, be prepared for the worst and pray for what is right. Much strength to you~Rachel

[carlam]

I found my father's birthparents. My father knew his biological name since he was older when he was adopted. Anyways, his bio-father passed away and I attended the funeral as a "neighbor" because I HAD to see him. Anyways, the greiving woman was my father's bio-mom and when she saw me she knew. She approached me. I don't recommend meeting anyone at a funeral, I was just going to be in and out.. but it didn't go as planned. I had to get my medical history. Ironically, my father's bio-sister and I were 6 years apart, born on the same day and month, and both joined the military to be a MP. Not only that, but we had the same sort of manners and walk, it was weird but I am so glad I did it! Do what YOU need to do, put your mind at ease!