[josh1788smom]

I am posting on the adoptee thread too......

Ok - in a few weeks, my bson will be graduating from high school.

Long story short: He and I met once in October; I gave him a long letter and some pictures; we talked for a while; I have sent him some e-mails - short and sweet and hopefully non-threatening or too commiting. He has sent me a note or 2, but nothing in a little while - actually he has not read my last message.

I wanted to send him something for graduation. I was thinking about sending him a watch or something personal like that. He is 18 years old.

A couple weeks after he graduates, his mother will still be in school because she is a teacher. I thought I could send it UPS to his house because he will likely be the only one home (as dad at work and little brother at school too).

I also had thought of a digital camera, but I don't know if he has one. I am deducing he does not. But I thought this might not be a personal gift. Also, I was thinking, if we ever met again, which I pray we do, I would notice the watch, which could make me happy or sad depending on if he wore it.

Any thoughts?????? PLEASE?????

[taramayrn]

Are you worried about what the adoptive mom will say or think if you send him a gift? I'm wondering why you would send it when no one else is home.

[josh1788smom]

No, I am not worried about her thoughts. She is married to my dad's cousin (he is adad). I have written her also asking we (because we are relatives also) could start to re-establish a relationship for his sake. She has ignored any of my contacts. I have talked to adad and he told me she was too emotionally weak to have me in my son's life. My son is also afraid of her emotional state. He does not think she could handle it. She did not want him to turn 18. She knows she went about his adoption all wrong. I would never bring that up with him.

I just thought maybe, for him, it would be easier for him to be alone with his thoughts if he got a package from me when he was home alone.

I am sure he will tell them. I was more thinking of his processing time then theirs, if that makes sense.

[banjo]

my mother bought me a watch when I graduated. Or you could get him an engraved pen? boys are hard to buy for. I would sent it to him when the aparents are not around. It would be nice for him to get it without the possibility of negative comments or him worrying about the amother's feelings. However being young he could go out with friend for the day and miss the delivery.