[mamottawa]

** this is linked to the Ethical Dilemma thread.

This is the letter i have written to my birth grandma and posted this morning alea jacta este so it begins...

Just thought I'd post it here ( minus the names involved)
and see what you guys thought. But remember, its too late to make me recommendations
_______________________________________________

Tuesday June 13th 2006

Mme ********, my name is Marc-André Mongeon, I am a 24 year old adoptee from Ottawa Ontario and I was wondering if you could possibly help me. Before I continue, I would like to apologize if this letter is seen as either intrusive or an invasion of privacy. It is neither my intention nor my objective to « rock the boat » or become an unwelcome presence. But if this letter is seen as an invasion of privacy, I apologize for this. I am an adoptee and have in recent years given some thought as to finding out more about my origins and how I could thank my birth mom for her incredibly noble gesture. A few years ago I have been fortunate enough to receive non-identifying information from the Children’s aid Society of Ottawa, and based on this information I was wondering if any information that I will provide, may sound even remotely familiar.

I was born on January 27th 1982 in Ottawa, at the Riverside Hospital at around 11 :48 AM after a 40week long pregnancy, and I was given the name of Christopher Daniel by my birth mom who was taking medication to control her epilepsy. On May 4th, my birth mom signed her consent to adoption and everything was finalized on January 31st 1983. My non-identifying information mentions that my birth mom was 26 at the time of my birth, was catholic and of Irish and French-Canadian ancestry. She was around 5’2 , brown curly hair, blue eyes and a round face, while wearing glasses for distance that she had since she was 16. She finished high school and did a year of college. During her pregnancy, she spent some time at St-Mary’s Home in Ottawa, and returned there shortly after my birth.

She came from a family of 5 : 1 boy and 4 girls. Her brother was 27 and was part of the armed forces at the time. She had younger sisters of 21, 19 and 16. Her only wish was that I be placed in a catholic family, which I was. All this information that I have was provided to me by the Children’s Aid Society of Ottawa-Carleton in the year 2000.

Now comes the big question, perhaps you are asking why I addressed this letter to you? Around two years ago I decided to look more into my roots, and explore, based on the information I was provided, who my birth mom might be, so I decided to see if St-Mary’s home in Ottawa might have any leads or help. I came in contact with a worker there who organizes files over the years, among other things, and she was very wonderful and friendly. To be honest I never expected anything to come out of this search, but I decided to at least take a chance. I exchanged some information and hoped it could help, and one day, November 22nd 2005….I got an email from madam Claire Danis of St-Mary’s in Ottawa and she provided me with detailed information which was the following: I learned that my birth mom’s name was possibly Rosemary Pronovost born on December 24th 1955 in Pembroke, Ontario. At the time of my birth, she was living on Carling Avenue in Ottawa with an aunt whose name is********. Further, the email also provided your name and location from Barry’s Bay (although the phone number wasn’t the same) and a man called *******from Edmonton, Alberta.

Having this information, I decided it was completely unexpected and quite frankly I was frightened to do anything about it, as I was concerned, and still am, about disrespecting the privacy of someone else. Still, I decided to use the internet and the people search from Canada Post ( Canada 411) to see if I could get anything, and that is how I got your phone number and address. I have no intention of prying or disrespecting anything at all about you or your family, I will repeat this often just because I am fully aware of the potential downfalls, one of them being that this is either not the right information or that I have unwillingly shown disrespect by being so “sudden”. Should you or anyone else feel disrespected by this approach, I wish to say that this is not my intentions, nor my style, and that I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. It is possible that none of what I have written is the right information, but I was wondering if anything at all seemed familiar might be of help to me. Not only because it might help better give me a sense of identity and belonging, but also because I am very interested in things like genealogy, History and making links between the past, the present and the future. Finally if this information was accurate, it would allow me to say a THANK YOU for everything that my birth mom has done for me and wish to tell her and her family and friends that I have a great life and that I hoped she didn’t worry too much.

As I conclude this letter, I realize I didn’t really give you any idea of who I am. First I am a 24 year old student from the University of Ottawa. I have graduated from the university two years ago from the field of Political Science and History, and am now doing a Masters degree in the same domain. I have lived all my life with my parents and sister in Ottawa, and as my name may suggest, I am a francophone. I love to read books, mostly biographies and History books, travel and listening to Celtic music. For the moment I work for the federal government, and in a year from now will probably be heading out west in beautiful British-Columbia with my girlfriend and live in Vancouver. That is all I can think of for now, but I wish to thank you very deeply for taking the time to read this letter.
May God bless you and your family.
Sincerely
Marc-André Mongeon

___________________

Email: mmong016@uottawa.ca

[wilted rose]

Beautifully, and eloquently written! I wish you the very best! Keep us in the loop.
Rose

[mamottawa]

Wow, after coming home from work yesterday i checked my hotmail account and found out two emails from people i didn't know. One of them was from my birth grandma's good friend who had access to an email account and she told me that they always talk about everything and that my birth grandma told he she was so happy and crying tears of joy after finding her grandson ( ie me) by my letter i posted last week. She received it this monday and alerted her good friend and her daughter in the area.

The second email was from her youngest daugter who left also an email saying she was lost for words and wanted to see if i was receptive about chating about my birthmom and any other questions. Very nice and classy and yet somehow i wasn't surprised

So i added her to my MSN and she was already online and we started to chat, and I can confirm all the info i had was correct. She was very nice and we talked for a little while, heck i even chatted briefly with her two young daugters ( 9 and 13).

And since i had my a few pictures for my MSN avatar, she said she immediately recognized the facial familiarity..how awesome is that, i never heard that in my life before and yes i was smiling like there was no tomorrow. Yes i did get a confirmation that her older sister Rosemary did pass away 19 months ago, but after telling her that i wished i could have thanked her and that i had a great life, she said she was so proud of her sister and that she was hartwarmed by the fact that i turned out great, and took some confort in knowing that parts of her live on WOW.

I don't know exactly what's going to happen but we both will keep emailing each other and she said she would be very happy to receive pictures. Apparently the only one they have of me is when i was a few days old at the hospital.

As for my birthgrandma i'm sure we'll be in touch, her good friend who emailed me said she really wanted to get in touch with me and was a great and loving lady.

I don'T go into this thing with demands or expectations, i don't push for immediate questions, as it would neither be necessary at this point and might be rude. I want to be a friend of the family, but i don't think i can be family just because i have one already. Still, you can never have too many good friends can you?

Well that's my story for now. WOW, i'm so happy, and you know what folks? I never thought that i could be so calm, have this sens of serenity and peace inside. Its so weird not having any anxiety no sadness ( even though my birthmom did pass away). I'm amazed that i am so calm, almost in a state of...i dunno, as if i was into budhism you know?

WOW ( wonder how long i'll say this )

I'll be back, now i have to get back to work.

Marc-André

[wilted rose]

Wow!!!! That is awesome news!! I'm so pleased for you, now you have this missing link.
Rose

[Benedicta]

Dear Marc-Andre,

OH my , what wonderful news !!!!! And what a BEAUTIFUL letter and outcome !!!!
I am soooooo happy for you and your blood family .

God is good !

vicky

[Jackiejdajda]

I am sooo incredibly happy for you..

Wonderful Wonderful news!

Jackie

[dpen6]

I am very hapy for you. sounds like you are all a wonderful bunch.

wellcome to the rollarcoaster!

Donna

[irisheyes33]

This is so wonderful...heartfelt congratulations to you!

And yes, I get the PEACE feeling. The emotions are huge and all over the place in reunion, but the PEACE...is just overwhelming.

Congratulations, and thanks so much for sharing your story!