[lori628]

When I was seventeen, I relinquished both my children: a son, born in 1963 and a daughter born in 1964. I went on to have a son in 1970, whom I was able to keep. In August, 2004, my daughter found me, and this week I was able, with the help of an angel, to find my older son.
My daughter grew up in a stable, loving family, who gave her everything she needed, and she is living happily with her daughter and husband. I'm not sure what to give her to help with the feelings of rejection she has: giving her up was not a rejection: it was the only way I had to help her to a better life than I could provide. She knows this, but still feels unsure with me, after nearly two years.
My son's adoptive parents divorced when he was eight, after which both lost interest in him. However, he also has formed a stable, happy life with his wife and son. He doesn't talk to me of feelings yet, and being male, may never do so. He seems receptive and interested in establishing a relationship, though we are both very tentative about it. I am having trouble talking to him, because I'm not very comfortable in conversation. I am at my best in writing, and he doesn't have a computer.
Meanwhile, my third child, who is nearly 36, seems to have some issues with both reunions. I think he's especially concerned about the contact with his brother. When I told him that I'd found him, he showed no interest and no curiosity at all. I feel that my daughter is jealous of him (which I expected, because he is the one I kept), but I never expected him to be jealous of his birth siblings. I already have trouble mentioning him to my daughter; now it seems I'm going to have trouble talking of them to him. No one says anything about any of these issues; does anyone have any comments?

[sunnyfromNY]

Hi Lori, I'm not sure there's a specific 'way' to do anything in a reunion. People will be people. When I reunited with my son, I found that he didn't want anything to do with his siblings. I always thought we would be happy once we were all together and we could talk and see each other.

Same with my 'kept' children. They're not interested in hearing anything about him. What I do is just keep everything separate... I've stopped talking about him to my other children, to avoid the awkward silence when his name is mentioned, and I only email him to keep in touch.

We're all in our separate worlds. Guess I'm not much help to you, but maybe just knowing that you're not alone with that problem will help. Sorry you're going through that...