[Andersen]

I wish I could tell my son that I have loved him from the very first day I felt him kick inside of me. I wish that he knew for sure that I did not give him up because I didn't love him but because I did so much. I wish he knew that he has two sisters who know about him and want to meet him. I wish that I could tell him that I thought I was doing the best thing for him. I wish I could tell him that I love his picture and that he looks just like me and his maternal grandmother. I wish that I could just tell him that I love him and I have never stopped and I never will.

[Birthmother82]

I agree with Andersen. I wish I could tell my son that I loved him from the time I found out I was pregnant with him. He is 21 now and there is not a day goes by when I don't think about him or don't miss him terrible. I was 19 when I had him on3-18-82 at 5:35 am. He weighed 8lbs 10oz and was 21 inches long. He was delivered by c-section and I stayed in the hospital for 6 days after
and I went down to the nursrey eveyday and held him until the day I was released. His father was 17or18 at the time of his birth
he was also in the army at the time of his birth. I started looking for my son as soon as he turned 18. But here in oregon they changed the law that the birthchild had to be 21 before they could have access to thier birthrecords. Which I thought was completely stupid it should be 18. I just hope he knows I will not stop looking for him ever!!!!!!!

[Andersen]

If only we could tell them that most birthmoms really didn't want to give their child up, we just didn't have a lot of choices and the choices we did have didn't look real good.
It is a scary thing to me to think about what my son might think about why he was put up for adoption. What was he told, if anything? He doesn't know the real story. He can only get that from me.

[Kitten Britches]

I wanted that for 27 years and have finally been able to tell my side.
Your time will come. I think once there was a stigma about girls who had babies and gave them up for adoption. We were not good girls, or we just didn't want the burden. Now people are more understanding of what we went through at the time. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life so far. I have given birth twice more, I have lost both my parents, quit smoking, and none of these things compare to the day I walked out of the hospital emptyhanded. I just wanted to say hang in there it will be worth it.

[Decision]

If I could say anything to my child, it would be to give him the tools to allow him his own choices, so that no one in the world will take his power of decision away from him. I would tell him that even though he views me as a stranger, the love I feel for him is the soul mate kind. Life is full of choices, all should be his own

[sspete]

Anderson--I just love your post!! What a beautiful message to your child! You touched my heart. I know just how you feel. I like you remember feeling SOOO strange leaving the hospital and not having my daughter with me. I new at that moment I would never stop missing her, and I would always love her!! spete

[Pat laPier]

I would tell my son that back then the choices were very limited and if you became pregnant, you were expected to give the child up for adoption so he or she would have a better life. This was not what I wanted as I loved him so very much but I had to put my trust into God that he would find him a set of parents that would love him the way I did. I would tell him that there hasn't been a day that I haven't thought of him. Every year, I bake a birthday cake on June 4th and have a silent party in my heart for him. I pray someday we will meet and that he will be able to understand that he wasn't given up because he wasn't loved or wanted. I want his sisters and brothers to meet him. I want to know if he looks like me or my other children.
Mainly, I hope he has had a good life, and I do worry what he might have been told about me. I was young, 15 years old, but not a bad person. I want him to know that I am here if he makes the choice to meet me and would love to start out by becoming friends and hope for more. I also hope he could be become friends with my other children and their children. Since 1968, it has felt like a piece of my heart has been missing and I would love to make it feel whole. All I can do is be a mom and be available if he makes that choice. I would answer any questions I could for him as I am sure he must have some. I know I would love to hear all about his life that I had to miss. His face is still etched in my mind when we said our goodbye at 5 days old. I can still see the dimple on his chin through the tears pouring down my cheeks. I held him, rocked him and fed him for the first 5 days of his life and sometimes I swear I can still feel him in my arms. If I could say just one thing, it would be Eric, you have had a set of adoptive parents that have loved you very much and a birth mother that has loved you. There's another side to your life, another family that would love to share some of your time. We are here!

[Andersen]

WOW! You said it exactly! We are here and we are waiting.

[Birthmother82]

Dear Pat,
I want to thank you for what you wrote. It was great there are alot of bmoms out there that weren't allowed to see thier bchild after having them. You and I were one of the lucky few that were able to see are bchild before they were released. My son was 6 days old when he left the hospital. I'm so happy that I was able to spend time with him and hold him and feed him. I know we will always have that bond even if he doesn't. After having my son J.R. I had hemorrhaged after having a c-section and I was given a blood transfusion. I would love for my son and I to reunite
I just hope someday it will actually happen. I want him to meet his Grandpa Ray and Nana Jo and his great grandmother Eileen
and His 5 uncles and 3 aunts and his 2 younger sister's and all his cousin's. Pat once again thank you for what you wrote!!!

[Fords2x]

You beautiful women have touched me, and given me more hope then you could possibly imagine! Thank you so much! I actually have tears in my eyes at your heart wrenching words. Words i hope to hear someday.

I have just started my search for my birth parents, mostly due to my wife's constant reminding that back then it was unheard of for a young mother to be a single parent. Or for teenagers to raise a child. (I was born 10/21/71)

I have been afraid of being rejected by my bmom, thinking maybe she really didn't want me, and would think me an intrusion in her life now, almost 32 years later. My wife is always saying that back then, at 14 or 15 yrs old, it just wasn't "allowed" so to speak, to keep the child, and that giving me up was probably the most heart breaking, selfless act my bmom has ever had to do. My wife gave me faith, you ladies have given me hope.


Thank you so much, and I truly hope you find your children one day, or that they find you!! God bless!

[Rita77]

My heart goes out to all you Birth Mothers.

My name is Christine and I recently was reunited with my 4 half siblings in March of 2003. I can't tell you how wonderful and blessed I have been for finding my roots, my true blood family. Although I will never get the opportunity to meet my Birth mom as she passed away over 2 years ago. But I feel so complete just knowing now that she talked about me and loved me so dearly. I have always wondered if she got to hold me, or missed me through the 25 years? I too know the feeling of wanting to find your family. I wish you all the best of luck and really pray that you find your son/ daughter. May God bless you all and remember that GOD does listen to your prays, just don't ever give up hope.

~Christine

For those who want to email me: Fourpinkandablue@cs.com

[l-thompson]

It is so lovely to read the posts from the birthmothers out there. I have recently been reunited with my birthmom, birthdad and three full siblings. When my birthmom told me how very much she loves me and has always loved me, I couldn't help but question that - afterall she did relinguish me. That was the sixties though and how times have changed. She really believed adoption was the best thing for her baby. By reading your posts I am finally realising that birthparents never stop loving their children and that it was out of love that they placed their babies not through lack of it.
Thank you for sharing your stories and for allowing this adoptee an insight into your feelings and thoughts.

[suzieq728]

If I could talk to my child, I would tell her, I never stopped loving her, nor did I ever stop thinking about her.
Every year on her B-day my heart is heavy. Just as heavy as it was the day I signed those adoptions papers. I signed very unwillingly.
I also wanted, as every parent wants for there childern, the best of everything. Something I knew I couldnt give my daughter when I had her.
Her adoptive parents sent me a picture of her once, and I cherish it. I looked at her smile in that picture so full of happiness & love, and I knew that was a smile I could not put on her face. In my mind & in my heart I knew I did the right thing by giving her up..
Thats not to say I dont think about her on a daily basis. Everytime I look in the mirror at myself, I pray for her. Every holiday I keep her in my heart.
I wonder if she is ok, did she get a good education, does she know she has a sister & a brother, is she married, is she happy today, did I do the right thing??? So many questions...
And the main question, does she even want to know me??
Maybe I should leave well enough alone....

[Pat laPier]

You sound so much like me. I ask those same questions every day of my life. Only difference is his adoptive mom sent a graduation picture to the agency to pass on to me, but they lost it so I don't even have a photo to hold on to. I couldn't interrupt his life......its in the file if he wants me, how to get in touch with me and I am welcome to contact. What I have been trying to do is get a small piece of information but I can't get anyone to work with me. I know he went onto several years of college, he lives in New York. I came close to losing my nephew in 911........He was late for work. I just want to know my Eric wasn't there. I have pleaded with the agency to touch base with his parents just to see if he is well and they won't help me. If anyone has any suggesstions, I am open to them. I know there are ways to check death records of 911, but I have no idea what his name is now.

Pat

[bentleys]

suzieq,
I understand the fear and pain you feel, the difference is I am on the opposite side, I am the child that wonders about her mother and father almost every day. Do I have any sisters or brothers? My heart has been aching reading all these wonderful things all the ladies write to their children, tears are coming to my eyes on almost every one od them, and i am not an emotional person believe me I would rather scream then cry. But please don't leave well enough alone. On an average most of us do want to met our mothers/fathers, but we have that same fear of rejection as you do. Acceptance is the one thing we all woory about. Little by little I am learning to put it aside. Hopefully you find your daughter and everything is as happy as a fairytale...Shannon

abday-05/29/1975
b-day-unknown
to cry is to be human