[kat2560]

Hey Jackie,
I just read your response to my last deal about SS#. Your right about people changing things and messing with peoples lives. The state is great about it. Alot of the case workers are book smart, they don't know anything about dealing with real life. I worked with a girl at a restraunt as a waitress, while she was studing to be a caseworker for the state. She didn't have children, and she didn't have any patience with kids either. Yet she was making straight A's in her class. To me that's very scary. Yes I am hanging in there, its hard at times, but I know in my heart when the time is right I will find my son, and we will be back together. Later

Kat2560

[Jackiejdajda]

Your right about people changing things and messing with peoples lives. The state is great about it. Alot of the case workers are book smart, they don't know anything about dealing with real life.

You can not learn about this stuff in a book.. Can you.. I have read pages on the net that tell social workers on how to ‘counsel’ women considering giving a baby up.. some of it is very scary..

I worked with a girl at a restraunt as a waitress, while she was studing to be a caseworker for the state. She didn't have children, and she didn't have any patience with kids either. Yet she was making straight A's in her class. To me that's very scary.

The sponsor in twelve steps has walked the walk.. and they know.. I knew when I sponsored in Alanon.. I knew what it was like to have an acting out loved one.. and I could say words that did not have an agenda.. or I hope they did not have an agenda.. a judgment..

Yes I am hanging in there, its hard at times, but I know in my heart when the time is right I will find my son, and we will be back together.

This is what happened with me.. Thirty five years.. and it happened.. and it was the right time.. He had talked with no one from the CC agency or even his aparents.. he just connected with me because he had looked at his children and wanted to know more..

Jackie

[kat2560]

Hey Jackie,
I don't know for sure yet, but I may have found my son. I was on myspace looking at all the pictures, I found one that looked like my son, the facial features, the smile, I feel that it is him. I sent him a message and I am waiting to see if he responds to me or not. I am very nervouse about it, and at the same time I am very excited too. Does that make sense?

kat2560

[Jackiejdajda]

I sent him a message and I am waiting to see if he responds to me or not. I am very nervouse about it, and at the same time I am very excited too. Does that make sense?

I hope and pray it is him.. and yes I know this one..
The first email I got from my bson was one that said I could not be who I am but maybe I was and the names were not the same.. etc etc..

I did not sleep that nite..

Jackie

[kat2560]

Hey Jackie,
My husband looked at the picture yesterday, he said there was some things that didn't look right and he didn't think it was him. I started to get upset, he told me he didn't mean to burst my bubble, I know that it may not be him, and yet I pray that it is. I haven't heard anything from him yet. The waite is the hardest part, I read all these stories and I know that it is just as hard on the children as it is on us. Another reason that my husband doesn't think its him, is because this boy is from North Caralina, My husband still thinks he is still in Kansas. I don't know. I am fighting with the state on trying to find out what his last name is. They won't release the name because his sister is only 15 yrs old and they were adopted together, I was told friday that I have to waite until she turnes 18 yrs old before I can have their last name, I got really upset and told Tina that it isn't fair to Johnathon Lee to have to waite, since he is already 18 yrs old, in Kansas he is considered an adult, it should be his dicision on whether to have contact or not. Was I in the wrong for feeling this way?

[MaryJennings]

I'm new to all this (the searching). There are some wonderful, encouraging stories here. Thank you all for sharing.

[lglysson]

How much I love her. How I held her when she was born. That her birth was one of the best things tha happened to me. That she was loved, she kicked her amom when she placed her hand on my tummy. That she helped so many others see the value of life. I wish I could tell her this and so much more. I hope that one day she will contact me again so I can share so much with her.

[kat2560]

Hey Iglysson,
This is kat2560 I was reading your short note, don't give
up. I didn't and I found my bson. He has been with me since May29th this year. He is staying with me now. I also have contact with my bdaughter. She can't be with me right now but I know she will be with me some day.
It is wonderful having my son home with me, we do have
some issues that we have to work out, but it is nice at night having him give me a hug before he goes to bed, and when we talk on the phone or when he goes to sleep we always tell eachother that we love one another. My daughter calls me once a week and talks to me and we always tell eachother how much we love one another. Miracles do happen, If my kids come home to me I am sure yours will be home one day too.
kat2560

[kat2560]

Hey everyone,
This is kat2560 and it has been awhile since I wrote
anything, my son has moved out on his own, we still have contact everyday, Sunday's are our family day, all the kids come home for a homecooked meal. We had our first christmas together. This year was very special I had my son with me, last September my husband had open heart surgery, he made it great, so I have alot to be grateful for. My daughter had to spend christmas alone because the adoptive parents put her in a hospital because she was running away, and talking about hurting herself. She won't get out until sometime in January. Yes it makes me mad, but my hands are tied, I can't do anything, they moved so far away I can't go to see her. We talk at least once a week, I didn't get to talk to her at christmas because the aparents were here in Kansas, and she is in Virgina. I did send her a message on the computer, she won't get it until she goes to visit them when they get back. My daughter is 16yrs old now. My attitude is if the aparents don't want her send her home and I will take her with my arms wide open. They came to get my son the day after christmas and had a family portraite taken while they were together, my husband asked my son, was Jessica there for the picture? John said no, my husband asked him how can that be considered a family portraite without her? John said they can add her picture later. I have alot of issues with the aparents, on how they do things, but once again I am grateful that my son is in my life, one day my daughter will be in my life too.

[imprttuner2]

Thank you to all the Birthmothers that are posting here. I recently found out that my birthmother was looking for me. This thread has explained more to me then I ever thought. I had a great life, and have known I was adopted for as long as I could remember. My Parents could not have children of their own, and I was the miracle that they were praying for. My parents and I have been thankful for the choice my birthmother made every day of our lives. I am so looking forward to sharing all my memories with her. It's strange to feel this kind of love for someone I've never met. Thank you for helping me understand the other side.