[JAK]

Any suggestions about how to connect our teenage son (turns 13 next week) with other tween and teenager adoptees from Latin America?

We live in the Twin Cities area of MN. Moved back to MN after living in FL for 7 years. Son has great relationship with his cousins (his age) on both sides of our family. Issue that seems to be coming up (not necessarily said) is how do I connect him with other teenagers who are adopted from Latin America.
Sometimes I get the feeling he is lonely in a way though when I ask he has no desire to look into his Colombian history and says he is happy being an only child.

I mentioned a family reunion coming up where I will be meeting a "third cousin" I've never met whose great grandfather was olderbrother to my great grandmother. When I mention this to my son if he'd be interested in going, his comment to me was, "it isn't my family."

My husband says not to talk about family reunions or old relatives because it upsets our son. (Parents are elderly at this point and lots of stories of great grandma, cousins, etc. are being discussed as well as reviewing old photos of my childhood, my parents childhoods and their families.

How do other adoptive families address "family trees",etc.

[MissGrey]

Hi
My younger sister and I are both adopted from South America, whilst I am quite interested in learning about my history, my sister is not so fussed. She isnt really interested at all in learning about her biological family, her family history or even anything really about the country that she's from. My parents always try and encourage her, whenever there's a tv show on about it or using it as a topic for a school project but it doesn't interest her.

She always ends up rolling her eyes at our parents :P as only true teenagers can. I know it annoys her when they do that and they know it too, but its more of a 'if you want to take this opportunity to ask us anything you're welcome to' sort of thing, like keeping the dialogue open - just in case.

My sister just isnt interested yet, she has her friends, she goes to school, this is her life. The live that she might have had in S.A isnt her reality, so its just not as important or as interesting as what's happening at home here, not as important as going to school, meeting up with friends, her family, its just another part of her life, that happens to be different from most kids that isn't as important as the more immediate stuff

We've grown up knowing we can can always ask questions and always find out more whenever we're ready. And I think, to me, thats the most important thing, I know she'll be curious one day and when that day comes my parents will help her in any way they can.

My sister isnt very social with our relatives, the age difference probably has something to do with it - they are mostly much older than both of us, the fact that we dont see them much doesn't help, their virtually strangers to her, I got to know them when we were both quite young but I remember them so that probably helps when I see them now.

She doesnt really know what to say to them and when we get together its more of a 'grown ups discussion' so its sort of boring for her, she'd much rather be at home reading a book :P

I dont know if any of what I said helps, but I wanted you to know that your son isnt the only one who isn't really interested at all. My parents I suppose are concerned that despite us growing up in a vastly different culture to that in S.A they dont want us to feel lost should we ever go back to our home country because despite us looking latin we dont speak the language and we dont know the culture I think they worry that we'll feel isolated that and they dont want us to lose our heritage. Our differences are what make us special and I think that as we are adopted that just makes us a little more... colourful culturally than your average child and they dont want us to lose that