[mommytoEli]

do you have friends that are also adoptive parents? what about friends that are birthfamilies or are adopted themselves? what benefits do you think these relationships have for yourself and your child?




i'll start. we have become friends with several adoptive families. we also have a few friends that are adopted themselves. i love having these people in my life bc first and foremost i think it shows my children that adoption is normal and they are not the only ones. i find this especially true for my son from Guatemala....i like that he has friends that are also adopted internationally and look different from their parents. i think these relationships are also neat bc i can call and vent about the process or people's assumptions and these are people that understand. i like having that. what about you?

[emi]

We belong to 2 adoption support groups and have a small playgroup made up of adoptive families. One of the support groups is made up of both domestic and international families, which I like. The other is specific to Guatemalan families (which I like, too).

Honestly I am starting to feel like we need more "biological" friends so my boys don't think everyone was adopted!

But I treasure these relationships for both me and the boys. I feel like most adoptive moms really "get it" and know where I'm coming from. I love that my boys see all kinds of families and see other kids who don't look like their parents.

I would love to have friends who were adopted or from birth family situations, but I don't at the moment. I also wish I had a more racially diverse group of friends, so I'm trying to branch out into other areas. Sometimes all I feel like I do all day is worry if I'm doing "enough" - tying to meet the needs of my kids in every possible way. It's exhausting. I guess that was a tangent. Sorry!

[kelceesmom]

I am too. I have met them all thru here. It is so fun to get together with them. We clicked the first time we met. It was like an old high school reunion.

The benefits for me are that these people understand what I am asking, saying, and just plain get it. I am so excited to have new friends let me tell you.

[rebeccab]

I grew up with neighbors and friends from church who were adopted, so for me it is normal. At our current church, 1/4 of the children are adopted (both international and domestic). We have lots of support from those families. I think it teaches children that although we come from different places, we still have a lot of things in common.

[DrLaura]

I have made friends with adopted children through this process including one that I work with. The new person that sits right across from me has two adopted daughters (pre-teens adopted at birth). It is very common in our area so I suspect when our son is old enough to go to school he will be around many adopted kids.

[devildogwife]

I'm really good friends with quite a few heart moms, more so than adoptive moms. Cam's CHD has impacted every part of our lives, so I'm able to get lots of support from them.

[meganicolson]

Great thread and so fun to read everyone's answers.

I guess that adoption has always been a part of my life because I was adopted as an infant, as was my (non-bio) brother. I have several other friends who were also adopted, too, and we are all from the closed adoption era, though some of us are at different stages of seeking reunion.

While waiting for our first adoption my husband and I, along with three other couples from our church, started an orphan ministry at our church in order to reach out to missionaries serving orphans throughout the world and to offer grants to families in our church who were adopting. This has lead to several projects that the entire church has come along side to help with and has been very exciting and encouraging.

Now my husband and I facilitate a Christian adoption support group for families in the North West metro area of Minneapolis/St. Paul. The group's focus is mainly on prayer and Christian parenting and support. It has been such an encouragement to us as we learn to lead this group together.

We are blessed with several close friends who have adopted both infants and older children and sibling groups domestically and internationally. Adoption is the norm for us. Sometimes when a member of our extended family responds to our adoption journey and doesn't seem to "get it" right away we are kind of shocked because the rest of our world is on board. Thankfully our family has been very supportive and they are learning as we go.

[mommytoEli]

it sounds like you guys have made some neat friends! that's awesome...and kudos megan for actually starting a group/ministry.

[NashvilleGirl]

5 of my cousins were adopted (1 domestic and 4 internationally) so it has always been something I have grown up with and considered "normal." I also have 2 close friends who placed babies for adoption. In addition, my husband and I are a part of an adoption group at our church and we get together every other Sunday night. I'm really thankful that Anna will be able to grow up knowing other children who have also been adopted and don't look exactly like their parents! It's also great for my husband and I to have friends who have "been there and done that" and truly understand the joys and challenges of adoption.