[mommylovesjosh]

I have a question about what to call extended bfamily members. Our bmother, bfather, their parents and siblings are all invoved with the open adoption of our son. I don't know what to call the bgrandparents because we don't feel comfortable using grandma and grandpa but also feel that the use of their first names is too informal. I'd love any ideas of what anyone has done in their situations like this or any good advice period. Thanks!!

[Georgia Mom]

Our situation is not identical to yours, but we do have occasion to make reference to some of our kid's b-family members. My personal preference, and what we use, is the title followed by the first or last name. Mama Susie, Granny Jones or Grandma Sarah, etc. For the sibs, we just use their names. To me, that delineates who they are, and has a friendly tone, but is not the same as "Mom" "Dad" and "Grandma." Best wishes.

[mikenree]

MLJ,

In our open adoption, we use Grandma-first name & PaPa-first name. Our BMother is called a nickname derived from her first name that our son came up with as he was learning to say her name. Her sibs are referred to as their first names. Ditto for our BFather's family. This seems to work very well, but be careful with attempts to claim just "Grandma". Stand firm on any boundaries you set!

Mikenree----Eph 2:10

[sweetnoodle]

Before I even found my birthfamily, we had step-grandparents and had to differentiate. Now, my brother-in-law and my sister have all the adoptive parents and birthfamily people. WOW, it can get confusing. Before birthfamilies the three grandmas were: Grandma, Granmother and Grandmommy. The birthfamily grandma was always called Nana before we met, so there was no conflict. For other birthfamily members we do the same as the other posts: Grandma first name, Grandpa first name. Have had trouble calling my aunts and uncles "Aunt so in so" or "Uncle so in so." It just seemed more natural to call them all by their names; we're all adults and we never had the niece relationship going on. But here's the real question; what do reunited adoptees call their birthmoms??? When someone figures out protocol on that, please let me know

[JessTK]

We also use the same names as Georgia's mom, using title then first name. Yet as our son got older he has chosen to drop "mama" "grandma" etc (according to who has stayed consistant in his life) and has chosen to use only 1st names for those people. We have allowed him to do what he wants and maybe someday he will chose to use those title names again. For people who have remained consistant he uses their title still.

[GinaA]

In our open adoption b-parents and b-aunts/uncles are by first name. B-grandparents picked out what they wanted to be called other than grandma/pa, nana etc. There are loads of websites with grandparents names from other cultures and just silly names kids have made up. Maybe together you could choose titles that work. Good luck.

[34andhopeful]

Gina, can you post one of those websites? I would be very interested in seeing that. I know that in my culture that a really good female friend of the family is called Tauntie - a "t" is put in from of Aunt for example.

I am in the process of going through an open adoption and I really do not know what the child should call his bmom, bgranddad or bgrandmom. Anyhelp would be appreciated.