[Bogie]

I have a question to post. I've been struggling with this for a while. I truly believe that my calling in life is to be a mother. - Getting pregnant has not happened (although it could with medical help, but we don't want that), so we decided to adopt. We wait, and it's so difficult! We pray that God is guiding our future birthmother and her decidions, and we pray that God will lead her to us. What I'm wondering is, does God really have that one special child planned for our family? I do believe that He knows the child that will end up in our family, but is that part of his divine plan? Isn't His divine plan that we all belive in Him? And so, is God tellig us, "You'll be good parents to any child - go ahead and find a situation you're comfortable and I will be with you." Or is he waiting for that one special child He has planned for our family? Any insight would be much appreciated. Thanks so much!

God Bless!
Heather

[Rainbow mom]

I am an christian adoptive mother of three awaiting four and I can tell you that he does things in HIS time and believe it or not it is always the right time. We must trust God to bless us his way. It's kind of like going through the door at the grocery store. Do you turn around to make sure it is closed? Nope you trust that it will. Once you have gone to Lord with your request leave it at his feet. Don't keep going back and picking it up and examining it. Leave it. He knows your heart and your desires better than you know them your self.

Sign up, do your home study then leave it to him.

Take all of this time you have on your hands and do good works. Find a community hospital and rock babies. It can do wonders for your soul. Do the things you'll not have time to do once you have kids. Go on the trip you've been putting off. Learn to golf with your hubby. Do some romantic get away type thing, once you have kids it is amazing how little time you can find with each other.

A little advive from someone who has been there 3 times!

[BioAdoptMom3]

Hang in there! I am a Christian adoptive and foster mom too and I agree, God will bless us with the child who is meant for us in His own perfect time and yes, though its hard to wait, it is perfect! Let me tell you what happened to us. All my life I dreamed of a daughter. I always wanted three children, always! My husband only wanted two and I loved him so much I agreed on that before we were married. After the birth of our second child I went into a major depression (I now know its because my family was not yet complete and I thought it never would be!). I prayed about it a lot, even got to the point of not taking my pill on purpose sometimes (though it is very difficult for me to achieve pregnancy, it is a possibility). I wanted a baby so badly. I pictured a petite girl with blond hair and curls on the ends (though it wouldn't have mattered anyway). When our boys were about 7 and 10 they both began begging for a baby sister (God's intervention here?). When that began my husband was willing to consider it, but only if we considered adopting a waiting child who was a bit older because he didn't want an infant (felt we were too old to start over). When we saw an article in the paper about a year later and it mentioned that college would even be paid for if we adopted one of these children we called and inquired. We began the classes a few months later though through it all he was doubtful it would ever happen. We were warned that all the little ones who were adoptable were grabbed up by their foster families (the way it should be), but not to foster if we just wanted to adopt. My husband said fostering would be too emotional, so no way! Another year passed and one night when I was looking on the net at adoptable children in FL he walked up behind me and told me to forget it, all the adoptable girls who were little were not available. He was right. My dream ended then and there. I sat on the couch and told God that I didn't care what He did, that I knew He was not going to bless us with another child that I so deeply wanted, so to please just bring peace and contentment to my life. I would just trust Him! Honestly, the very next day DCF called and asked us to get our foster license so we could take in a four month old multi-racial girl who was in an unlicensed home. We decided to go for it and a month later, didn't get her! It was devastating. We began getting calls right away and did foster several babies and one preschooler but we were not happy doing it. It was so hard on our boys too to keep giving them up. We also learned through the preschooler that it is not always easy to bond with an older child and it was not meant for us. Its amazing how God thinks of everything! Well, I am a teacher and we decided that year ('99) that if we didn't have an adoptable baby girl by August 10 we were giving up foster care for good because I had to return to school on August 12. On August 9 a six month old boy whom we had had in respite care was to go back to his original foster parents at 10 a.m. At 8 a.m. we were called and told they had a newborn who had been born prematurely and was ready to be discharged. Her bmom was thinking of signing surrenders on her so we said yes.
You also need to know we would have never taken on two babies at the same time purposefully here. Cody left at 10 as planned and at 11 DCF called and asked if they could bring him back (Nikki was coming at 1 p.m.). Of course we said yes. We had bonded with him and we loved him. We couldn't turn him away. A dear friend loaned us a crib for Nikki that day. I went up to our church office to share all the news and our secretary right then and there phoned her daycare and got us a space in the infant room for Cody. Another friend offered to watch Nikki till she was old enough to go. God was truly in control in every area!
If DCF had called about Nikki before that Monday morning or after 11 a.m. we would not have taken her at all. I am certain of that.
Cody stayed another two weeks and somehow we managed with two babies. So many times we faced such stressful situations and its amazing how God worked it all out and how He encouraged me when we were really down, or stressed or whatever. We never had any major problems, but it did take nearly three years, the most stressful, but most spiritually enriching experience of our lives, literally! Guess what? At three years old she is petite, weighing less than 30 pounds and her hair is blonde, with little curls on the end (I didn't ever envision the temper though, he he!!!)! So yes, I do believe God has a child in mind for us from the beginning. Put Him in total control. Give it to Him and I know He will lead you in the right direction! Feel free to email me anytime and I promise I will never respond with such a long post or note, ever! I just had to tell my story in hopes that it would encourage you in your quest to adopt that child that God has planned for your family! I will be praying for you. As a matter of fact, I am now. Keep me posted. My email addy is grywhop@aol.com
Nancy

[Bogie]

Thank you for sharing your story. It's really amazing to see how God works in our lives. - Just hard to see it when you're in the middle of it. It is encouraging, and I thank you for sharing. For now, we continue to pray. We are becoming involved in a mentoring program, and I am volunteering at the nursery in a hospital near us. God will lead us - sometimes I just really need to be reminded. Thank you!

Heather

[addielee]

We've been believing God for children for quite some time (we've been married for almost 15 years). We are ministers and have been approached by 4 different birthmothers since 1998. The 4th (and current) birthmother's child is due January 20, 2003. If it works out, we will have our first child.
The adoption ride is a wild one- filled with dreams, challenges, intense emotions, and, at times, great disappoinment. But God is faithful!!
One thing we continue to pray is, "God, we're trusting you for Isaac, and not Ishmael." Regardless of how painful a situation may be presently, if a certain child is not God's "Isaac" for us, we're trusting Him to close that door.
Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He'll give you the desires of your heart." Your desire to be a parent is no small thing to Him. Don't let go of that dream. There are precious children that will need you as much as you need them.
God bless you and your family in this journey!