[Archive]

Originally Posted By Sthayley

Hi to all,

We are a Christian family who are beginning an international adoption. My question is do we continue to tithe through the adoption process. We will struggle to get the finances together if we do both. However, tithing is a commandment from God and we want to be faithful to Him always. Please advise.

Thanks

[Theresa]

Of course! Keep tithing! God doesn't tell us to tithe when its easy! He says to give Him what He deserves and to watch and see Him open the storehouse of heaven. All our blessings will not be in dollars, but God takes care of His own. You will find a way - and God will bless you for your faithfulness.

We haven't adopted internationally, and I know its expensive but I have had weeks with $20 for groceries! And let me tell you, God supplies! Have faith in Him.
Theresa

[twyla]

Sometimes the Lord allows adversity into our lives to test our faith and strengthen us. I firmly believe from personal experience that if you will continue to be faithful to Him, He will bless that act of faith with not only what you need, but much, much more. And after all... we are only giving Him back a small part of what He has given us... it ALL belongs to Him anyway!

I think the Holy Spirit has given you the conviction that tithing is the right thing to do or you wouldn't feel uncomfortable about NOT tithing.

[Homeschooler]

Yes, yes, yes, tithe. And my own personal opinion is to give even more than the tithe, even if just a quarter or dollar as a gift to his work. When we were building a new church, the pastor told us that each chair was $25.00 (whatever). We felt very much led to 'purchase' SEVERAL more chairs than what our family would use. We prayed for each chair to be filled with a family member and, praise God, they are being filled and beyond. Yes, it was a hardship. Yes, it took more than the 'fund raiser' time but God isn't limited by that time frame and He know what the seed was for. Give a gift to the church for the child and pray over that gift as a gift of blessing to that child for extra attention, a little more food, medical attention, whatever. You will be greatly blessed.

[kidzteach]

Hello-
Tithing is a commandment and as God says- give unto the Lord and it shall be given to you... You will be greatky blessed if you obey God and give what is already His to Him.
you already know what you should do.
God Bless you both
Debbie

[sweetnoodle]

Tithing is not a commandment. The Lord said in Malachi, "test me now in this . . ." He would never say to test him in something that is a commandment. However, we really are crazy not to do this since this is the only thing God said to test Him in. Even Jesus, when he was chastising the Pharisees for their bad attitudes toward money said, they should have taken care of their family without neglecting the other (tithing). [Mt. 23] However, Jesus was much more concerned with people's attitude towards money and giving then with whether they gave the tithe or not. In fact, if you read Paul and Timothy's writings they were very concerned that people take care of others in need and especially their own families. Don't forget, there is a subtle heresy in the body of Christ with prosperity thinking where people are pressured into tithing or think they should tithe in order to receive God's blessings. Even though God said he would bless us if we tithed, Jesus said not to neglect our own families and the Holy Spirit will prick our conscience if our motivations in tithing are wrong.

[addielee]

Speaking from personal experience and, after 15 years of marriage, the ONLY time we've had major financial problems were the times we skipped tithing. Many times things have been "tight," but we, personally, recognized we couldn't afford NOT to tithe. Part of the covenant mentioned in Malachi as a result of tithing is that God would rebuke the devourer for us. That's something anyone could benefit from- especially when shelling out all the money for adoption.

Best wishes for you all,
Addielee

[sweetnoodle]

Regarding money matters, why do people have to pay for adoption? Is that just international ones? I've seen messages about this, and I don't understand. My parents never had to pay anything. We were adopted through the Children's Home Society. Why are people saying it costs like thousands of dollars? I don't get it.

[twyla]

Nancy,

The reason some adoptions cost way too many thousands of dollars is because some agencies are making a living off the pain and suffering of both the placing parents and the parents wanting children. I've checked into agencies that charge $25,000 to $35,000 for placement of a healthy caucasian infant! An adoption should never be more than the actual cost of providing medical care for the placing mother and emotional preparation for the placing & adopting families.

The agency we have chosen, Bethany Christian Services, is a non-profit agency and adoptions can still cost up to $18,500. They charge on a sliding scale, (from $3,000), according to the adoptive family's income. They provide help with medical and living expenses for the placing mother, plus lifetime counseling for all those involved. These services cost money and you can't expect someone to just give them away for free.

Hope I helped you understand why the costs are higher than they used to be.

[DianeS]

sweetnoodle, the costs involved in adopting a child include:
the mother's medical expenses and living expenses
the baby's medical expenses
the cost of counseling for the birth family
the cost of taking care of the child before he goes home with the adoptive parents
the costs associated with searching for the birth father
the fees for the lawyer who handles the case
the fees for the assistants who file the papers
the fees for the people at the agency who find the birthmother and/or child and file the papers
the fees for the people at the agency who visit your home for the homestudy and conduct your interviews and file the papers
the court costs of issuing the adoption decree

Get the idea? Not every charge exists in every case, of course. And fees vary depending on where you live and the amount of trouble a particular part of the process causes.

In some cases, the state has an interest in placing the child with adoptive parents. When the state has an interest in that, the state pays some or all of those fees. Like if a child is in foster care and I want to adopt him...here, the state pays for everything except the final court costs. But if I contact an agency and expect them to do all the work to match me with a baby, and the state has nothing to do with it, then I have to pay everything.

Some agencies are non-profit, meaning they're not charging extra just because someone will pay it. Some agencies have behind-the-scenes donors who help with the costs.)

Years ago (like in the 60s and some of the 70s), the state had an interest in placing healthy newborns, simply because there were so many of them the states knew they had to find adoptive homes quickly or shoulder the cost of raising those kids in foster care for 18 years. The decision to pay all the adoption costs was an easy one for the state to make. Then the number of available infants dropped, and parents were more willing to pay the costs, and there was no reason for the state to pay anymore.

All adoptions cost money--its just a question of WHO will pay the money. Hope that answers your question!

[Swanson]

Seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God and ALL these things shall be added unto you. My God shall supply ALL your NEEDS according to his riches and glory in Christ Jesus. When we adopted I stopped work to be fulltime mom , God provided as we put him first he was always faithful to give and then some so we could help others. Don't be afraid to be a giver, he knows what you have need of. God bless and be with you.

[ellia3]

Yes , please continue tithing while adopting. God will make a way for you. In Malachi 3:10 God says bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. This scripture confirms that you should tithe and expect a blessing from your tithing because the next verse in Malachi goes on to say if you tithe- And see if I will not throw open the floodgate fo heaven an pour out so much blessings (Malachi 3:10). Continue to tithe and trust God Almighty to bless you and supply all your needs in Jesus Name. Trust God.

[sweetnoodle]

Registered: Dec 2002
Posts: 2
I am really sorry you feel that way. I guess you can read anything you want to - or justify it how you want. Tithing is a commandment. A matter of attitute - yes in how you give. If you give because you feel you have to you will not receive blessings. If you give because you know you are being obedient and want to do what is right - you will be blessed!!! This is what the savior said when he talked about paying tithes and offerings and looking after your family... you see, when you are obedient you not only bless yourself but you bless your family. Had tithing been paid - an honest %10 - then so would have been his family.

I hope that you understand what I am saying, and please know that I am not clarifying what you said to hurt your feelings - you just needed some clarification and help in your interpretation of the scriptures. When it comes to commandments and testing them... it too is our test - a test of our faith to do what we are asked.

[sweetnoodle]

I cannot believe what I am learning about the costs of adoption. This is a very sad thing. A terrible thing if you will. I'm having a hard time finding good things about the whole adoption process as it stands. I thank God that my parents did not have to go through that financial burden to adopt. I was adopted through an agency, and that agency does do it's own fundraising, etc. and I'm sure probably gets some state funds as well. At that time, no one had to pay them money. That would have just been unthinkable back then. And paying for birth mother's expenses . . . I'm not sure that's something I would feel is my responsibility either. You can imagine to an adoptee how this whole money thing could be a sore subject; like buying and trading. Ye gads. No prospective adoptive parent should have to go through the financial stress on top of the other stressors involved in adoption.
P.S My birthmom would never imagine anyone would have helped her financially.