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Originally Posted By CP Mommy

My Husband and I have always planned to either send our children to a private Christian school or homeschool. We don't want to send our children anywhere that GOD is not openly welcome.

We are adopting a sibling group of three and simply can't afford to have three children in private school right now. I inquired about homeschooling and the socail workers were very against it. They stated that homeschooling for their children was not recommended.

Do any of you homeschool your children? Has anyone had a simular experience with your workers? How has the public school conflicted or not conflicted with your values? Anything to help me accept or fight the workers non-Christian plan for our children.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By NicksterMommy

I have not been in your situation, so you can take what I say w/a grain of salt. My son is only 7 months old, so the school situation isn't looming over us yet.

My husband and I are planning to send our son (and any future children) to the public schools. We were both able to maintain our Christian values while attending public schools. I am also a mentor to a 17-year-old girl who is a VERY strong Christian and who attends a public school. She gets the opportunity to bring God's love to kids who might not otherwise be exposed to Christianity. Jesus spent his days with the "sinners," not the saints while on this earth. When he was criticized for this, he replied that it is the sick who need the doctors.

I understand where you are coming from because you have these vulnerable kids who are just coming out of foster care. (I have read your posts.) However, keep in mind that MOST of what the kids are learning in school is religion-neutral -- mathematics, proper grammar, etc. I would sit down with the kids each day after school and discuss what they are learning in their classes, go over homework, etc. As things creep in that are anti-Christian (eg. evolution), do your own homework and teach the kids why it isn't correct. I would also keep them out of sex ed kinds of classes where they encourage oral sex as an alternative to sex. (I live in the South, so that kind of stuff isn't much of an issue in the "Bible Belt," thank goodness.)

My point is that I don't think the kids HAVE to avoid public schools to be Christians. Perhaps you could start them out there and then, if one of them is showing a vulnerability to falling in w/the wrong crowd, perhaps you can afford to send that child to a Christian school.

One word about home-schooling -- I have some friends who home-school their kids. If you decide to go that route, be sure to network w/other families who are doing the same thing. You can get the kids together for field trips, etc. My mother home-schooled my sister for a couple of years (high school age), and it was a complete disaster. Yes, she learned the subject matter, but she didn't learn about other important things, such as not being tardy, interacting w/other kids, going to dances, or participating in school activities. A school setting teaches you about more than just math and English. Perhaps that is what the social worker was trying to get across.

Good luck w/whatever you decide. I admire you so much for opening your heart and home to these kids. May God bless you on your adoption journey.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By CPMommy

Thanks again. I live in Kentucky but schools seem much more liberal than I remember. I have no choice but to put them in public school this year and we live in a good school district. I love the way you put things into better perspective. I just feel as if I planned to treat my bio child better then my Achildren. Who know maybe I send them all to public school if things go well. I'll hope for the best but be prepared for the worse.

Thanks again
Cathy

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Katie's Mom

I can't believe they could say such a thing. I don't know what state you are in. I live in WI and here we have a transition period of at least 6 months before the adoption becomes final. During that time we are foster parents with the state or agency having legally guardianship until finalization occurs. I would think until then the state can decide schooling , but afterwards we legally become parents in every respect just as if they were our bio children. In that case we can decide what is best for our children not someone else. I would try to swing the private school for the first year or send to public school until the adoption becomes final. Then you can always switch to home shooling. good Luck.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Sherry

I have not homeschooled a adopted child but a nefew in my care it was the best thing I could have done He was in 3 grade and could not read . After 9 months he was only a grade and a 1/2 behing .God bless you and good luck

[Homeschooler]

Boy, am I responding to and old post.

First, the biggest falacy about homeschooling is the lack of socialization. Secondly, I personally have shunned the local homeschooling group. It was no different interaction than public schooling, at least in our area.

I maintained my Christianity in public schools also but most of my friends did not and I strayed several times KNOWING I was doing something God didn't want me to do.

Now, about homeschooling foster kids, we are adopting kids from New York and the case worker there said that as an agency, the State of New York is beginning to advocate for homeschoolers because the find that there is a better bonding and less stress on the kids. We are fostering to adopt and that might be different but you might want to search on line maybe starting with New York so see if any agencies have info on it. California would be another place I would look.

Good luck

[janeliz]

I agree with the poster here who said to try and swing the private school until the adoption is finalized, and then they are yours!!! The most frustrating part of my time with my children was when we hadn't finalized and the agency and state exerted their will over my children.

I have just started my oldest in a private Christian kindergarten. It is a wonderful thing to hear how her teacher prays, what they read for stories, and to hear her singing praise songs as she comes home. The public school could never give her this. What I want most for my children is to integrate God into every part of their lives. In my mind, the public school and many of their agendas downright oppose this. I don't think most younger children could stand up to this.

If I have a "leader" child who is strong in faith, I'd be thinking about switching to public school sometime in future. But that would be at God's leading.

I can really identify with the financial situation. I stay at home with the younger child and make just a bit of money from home. The thought of years of paying for two girls to attend private school is daunting! Put the matter in for prayer. It will also depend greatly on the children and how they can learn from you. In some situations, it is NOT constructive. I think homeschooling is a calling.

Jane

[Homeschooler]

Agreed. I responded on another line about older child adoption that we are not all called to the same activities, etc. However, if you feel called to homeschool, then I would stand up to get it if at all possible. One thing you could do is ask for a copy of the law, regulation, or policy that prohibits it. Maybe you are in a position for fight for something for the ones following you. Just make sure that is what God wants.

[Chris'Mom]

What the writer from Wisconsin posted is correct-- after the adoption is final, there is no legal difference between adopted/birth children. OUr son stayed in one of his two secular preschool programs until the date the judge signed on the dotted line. The good program continued with him until he was 1 1/2 year older, the bad one was ditched immediately before the ink was barely dry!
By the next year, we were homeschooliong him full time, as we found he was special ed, and wasn't going to get the right education accomodating those needs.
Other homeschoolers can be found in many groups around most areas, we didn't find one near enough to our home, so we started one for gym, art, and activities. Later, he went to a public high school for math and foreign language. I think it is important to remember that while Jesus spent His *adulthood* with publicans and sinners--He spent His *childhood* at the feet of the teachers and priests in the temple. Butter and honey to learn what is good.
Chris'Mom

[trunks888]

Hi,
I currently Have no kids how ever,
I have known alot of people who have been home schooled.

I really dont recomend it.
And if you are going to do it make sure there around other kids andthings growing up.

If you wish to find out more on why I feel this way
feel free to contact me.
But trust me I got my reasons.
Thanks take care and may God bless.

[gkasche]

OK...after reading all of this I have got to post. I am mother to 4 children and going to India after the 5th next week. My two oldest sons are bio and ages 17 and 14. My three girls are adopted from India and ages 7, 4, and our new little one coming soon is 23 months. As someone who has both bio and adopted children and someone who has dealt with the public school system as well as homeschooling...I am going to give my 2 cents worth. My boys started out in the little elementary school where I had gone to school years ago. In fact we searched for 5 years for property before building to make sure it was in this particular school district because of my fond memories during grade school. Long story short...John was taken out after 5th grade and Aaron after 2nd grade. Not only were the teaching styles lax...but I got tired of them watching videos in school every day and then coming home with tons of homework. Half of the children now are medicated for hyperactivity etc. the "socialization" that everyone seems to think a child needs was tearing down any self confidence my two boys did have before entering school. The garbage out of the mouths of children on the bus and in the play yard was a constant stream and my children were subjected to listen to it every day. The reading program and math programs at school were unbelievable...nearly to the point of cheating so that all the children would stay together mentally and move forward as a class. When one second grader knocked another one unconscious in class because he wouldn't let him cheat off his paper...I had had enough. This is not a tough inner city school...this was a very quiet outlying school in a very conservative part of Western PA!! Those who knock homeschooling usually have no idea what they are talking about. We attached ourselves to a local group of about 100 other homeschooled children for activities outside the home. I love my children being around kind, respectful, kids who make it a point to include them in activities etc. The homeschooled child is not the social idiot that everyone makes them out to be...exactly the opposite occurs. When they don't have children or teachers "putting them in their place" or scoffing at something they have done...it helps the child to turn into a wonderful, kind, responsible, and caring teen and then adult. Not only is the education better...but the one on one time with me is priceless. I have just finished up school for the year...John has completed 11th grade and is a very fine teen with respect for me and other adults. He is hard working and helpful. He is kind to everyone and gentle to his little sisters. Aaron has just completed 8th grade and loves the fact that when school only takes him about 2 hours...he has free time in the afternoon to help Dad in the shop...explore the woods...or work on rockets, etc. Both of my boys are able READ fluently from the Bible and carry themselves well. They have great self confidence and a strong belief in God. My daughter Sejona is 7 and just completed 1st grade at home. She will be my first to be homeschooled from the beginning. I took her last year to the local elementary school for Daisy Girls. I knew she would love it and thought to continue on in Brownies and Girl Scouts etc. I was very sad to see that when I went to pick her up after the meetings...she would be sitting by herself and the others in her class would be all grouped together. Sejona is East Indian...looks different...and NOT allowed into the pecking order of the girls in the class. Even though Sejona is very kind and a lovely child...she was an outcast with the other girls. She didn't realize what was going on...but I did. So much for the needed "socialization". At the homeschool group from the day she came...she was welcomed and formed close friendships with the girls in her group. I think that the person asking why they cannot homeschool their adopted child...needs to educate the social workers. The quality quiet time at home with children who are confused initially is something that will be so good for them. If social workers would take the time to expose themselves to the homeschooling process...I believe they would see how beneficial it would be for a hurting/confused child. I am at a loss as to why they would consider it harmful. God being part of the daily learning is always the best. If they will not allow you to homeschool until adoption is final...you can always do so after the adoption is signed. I know I am responding to an old post and hope that anything I have written is beneficial to anyone else considering homeschooling. Adopted or not...it is a good way to go. Karen

[lucyjoy]

For my kid, public school was a nightmare. We, too, searched for a house in a particular school district. The mainlearning focus was getting the MAPP test done well.

They had these great assignments: Go ask your parents where you got your name(well, my mom belonged to a gang and my sister's dad lived with her when I was born......Go home and trace your familily tree, just use your adoptive family. What about my brothers who live here & here? My sister?.....Go home and list all your facial features you inhereted from your parents...

Shall I continue? My sons were bored stiff and tired of spending weeks on material they learned the first day. MY child wanted to quit schol at 16 and was beginning to get into trouble. After a year of being homeschooled, he has college plans, many friends, and no desire to cause trouble. He has a part time job and is going on a missions trip this summer. None of my children will be attending public school anytime soon.

[CocoCapo]

Hello CP Mommy,
My husband and I adopted 4 children and have 1 biological child. We tried the public schools for 1 year but were not happy with many of the aspects of it. We thought that we couldn't afford a private Christian school for 5 kids either but God led us to a very small Lutheran school. We pay only $883.00 per month for all five children and that includes after school care until 5:30PM!
We were going to have to pay about that much for just after school care alone at the public school any way! If we joined the church the tuition would be FREE, but we love our home church (Calvary Chapel) and decided that if God wanted us to be able to keep atending Calvary Chapel that he would provide the funds needed (and He has!). We love the teachers at the Lutheran school and the fact that our children pray and learn about God every day. They have blossomed in this setting and are all getting great grades!
Try looking in the phone book for Lutheran churches that have schools. There is bound to be at least one in your area. When you meet with the school administrator, just explain your situation to him and they will most likely work with you financially. I will pray for your situation to turn out as great as ours has!

[cupycakesmurf]

Homeschooling has it's ups and downs. I was homeschooled from the time I was 7, until I graduated. The one and one attention was great, however I was miserable because of the lack of socialization and the fact that the friends I did have already had "best friends" at school. Nonetheless, I turned out FINE. I was really into gymnastics and won a few competitions. I was also involved in church groups. I started dating a guy when I was 16 (my first boyfriend), and now, 5 years later, I'm married to him (happily!). I attend Louisiana State University and will graduate soon with a degree in Psychology with a minor in Anthropology. I will graduate with honors on a full scholarship and am the secretary of Gamma Beta Phi Nation Honors Society. We are actually in the process of adopting ourselves now But you know...I would NEVER homeschool MY OWN kids. It's totally up to you and your beliefs, but I missed out on a lot. I didn't go to prom, etc. That was a miserable time in my life and I would like to put it in the past. Please consider this if you plan on homeschooling. There's always going to be a place inside of me that resents my parents for keeping me so sheltered. Reality hit me HARD in the face when I started going to LSU. Good luck with your decision.

[browntap]

My kids have not started school yet, but we will either send them to the Lutheran school (3 blocks away) or homeschool (which scares me to death! - just not sure I can do it, we'll see what God says). I think what some of us are forgetting is that school is about EDUCATION! And in our area, I do not believe sending my children to the public schools would be beneficial to them learning. I also believe that not every person was made to homeschool and not every child would thrive in a homeschool environment, but studies do show that homeschooled students are scoring significantly higher on standardized testing. So I do believe it should be on a case by case basis. I also know that if we homeschool, our children will be involved in other activities with kids. At their ages now, 3 & 4, they already have friendships through church and kids programs during the week there. Yes socialization is an issue, but education is the GOAL! And honestly, as a public school graduate who played sports, was in student council and multiple "clubs" in high school and attended prom, those activities are merely a single grain of sand on the vast beach of my life. Graduating college, marrying a wonderful man and raising two great kids are much bigger than anything I experienced in high school. Heck, to date what I consider my biggest accomplishment is potty-training! I think it is so cool that I helped my children learn this life-altering skill, that's practical homeschooling.

Just my two cents,
Tammi