[mynewhomeiowa]

I want to adopt an Older Child.... By older I mean tween or teen. Most people think you mean 5 when you say that. I would love to meet some people who have done this or would also like to do this. How did you do it??? What you wish you know???

[kretzklan]

Try posting this on some of the other forums: older child, special needs (because older kids are considered that), even some of the international forums (I know folks on the Russian board have done it).
It's a great thing that you feel led to adopt pre-teen/teens and there are people who 'specialize' in such adoptions. Mine were older - 6 and 7 - but not that old. I hope you find good info and I know there are a lot of books with great info that you will be told about!

[mellaf]

We started our fost/adopt process thinking we'd adopt a newborn. After the MAPP class, we met and matched with a tween. We're hoping to finalize her adoption this year.

We're younger than most foster parents (26 and 30) and we actually love the fact that we don't have to worry too much about day care and she's old enough and able to advocate for herself about a lot of things.

She's had trust issues in the past, but we've found she responds well to us giving her tasks to prove she's trustworthy--on Sundays, we give her money to go get the newspaper at the store across the street from our home. Just today, we were at a sporting event and she needed to go to the bathroom, so we gave her one of our cell phones and let her go on her own.

One of my favorite parts of being a parent to a tween is finding activities for her. She's taking Tae Kwon Do right now, and we're considering finding yoga and/or gymnastics. She's got so many interests and we've seen her take a huge interest in cooking and world languages so we're trying to nurture those interests. She's bent on going to college and proving that she can overcome anything and everything. To be a part of that is great!

It can be really difficult but also a wonderful experience. We've had both big ups and downs, but we wouldn't trade it for anything. She just got back from a 2 week summer camp and I don't know who was missing who the most

[rk36]

We are in the process of adopting our daughter from foster care. She is 15. We should be finalizing in the next month. She has been with us since November of last year. We love having an older child. Our birth daughter is 16 and all of the cousins are around the same age. A younger child would not have fit in as well.

We like that she can tell us how she feels and if anything is bothering her. She is very sweet and loving and always wants to help out.

I think the hardest thing for us has been that she really misses her brother and sisters. She talks to them by phone but it is hard to get visits scheduled with the other families.