[Gospelfan]

Did any of you who adopted older children, specify that you wanted children who were interested in going to church?
Did ya'll have problems with the kids and transitioning to your churches? What info do you give tha church about the kids/your adoption?

[Bamamom07]

I am in process of adopting sibling group that includes a 14 year old. I also have older birth kids. If you don't have bios already, kids who are in this age group can seem like they are going through terrible two's all over again, questioning everything. Including your religious beliefs. Even bios who have previously enjoyed going to church can have argumentative times, when you may tell them it is not an option to not go to church. You cannot just do this with kids you are just beginning to parent. You have to discuss your way of living with these kids, including your religious beliefs and how you feel about church attendance before you start the adoption. They are old enough to decide if they are okay with that. My kids know this is what we do. They came from a birth family that demonstrated love and respect for Jesus. Their former foster families occasionally took them to church. They enjoy going to church twice a week now, and get really upset if we have to miss. However, some of their friends, if they were to move in with us, would have days when I am sure they would refuse to go and nothing I could say would move them. Although they are good kids, who do go to church, their parents do not MAKE them do anything they don't want to do. It pretty much depends on the individual kids you're talking about, whether they'll appreciate, enjoy, and want to attend the way you do. They all seem to begin to LOVE sleep more than anything at this age, or soon, and getting them to get up early on Sunday can be a real pain. But at their age, they do also have a right to their religious preferences. If they're parental rights have not yet been terminated, their parents may also exert a say so in their religious education, and that has to be respected. As for telling your church, remember the kids have the right to confidentiality, and if this is violated, you can lose them and your licence. Our pastor stays updated on what is happening with our kids as we have complete trust that he will keep information confidential, and be in prayer with us as specific needs become known. Our church family is aware that the children are foster kids we are adopting, but any information given out, prayer requests, etc. are along the lines of "please pray for our kids legal situation, or pray for our family". Never anything that someone could hear and use against us to say we violated confidentiality. I hope this helps, and that it all works out for your family according to God's will.