[soozoos]

Hello,
My husband and I are adoptive parents and are honored to have been asked to participate in a "Beyond Infertility" panel discussion breakout at an upcoming Christian adoption/foster/orphan advocacy expo. We remember the fears and uncertainty we felt as we began to consider adoption following infertility. If you traveled this road too, I am interested in hearing about what you feel would be helpfull for us to touch on. What helped YOU decide to seek adoption?

I look forward to your input!

[mom25-4g1b]

We adopted our 4th and 5th child after having 3 bio daughters. We lost an infant and had 2 miscarriages before we decided to adopt. We adopted through the foster care system. The most important things to me are: adoption is not a second best way to start (or complete) a family, God is all-knowing (He put my family together.) and as a Christian I have been adopted too by God himself
Good luck,
Shelley

[Barksum]

We didn't think we would have any children, at all. I had a surprise pregnancy which was a true blessing, but also brought health issues for the baby and I. We were told to not do pregnancy again.

So no infertility issues, but difficult decisions along the way.

When our one and only child was 7 we adopted a 2 year old child from the foster care system. We were very careful and specifically said we were not interested in a child with fetal alcohol problems. God gave us a child who, it turned out, had FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder). After that we adopted 3 more children, all either prenatally exposed or born addicted.

I was very scared when we decided to adopt from foster care. I was concerned about all the unknowns, and unknowables. I remember being consumed by fear one day and facing the fact that I could allow fear to rule, or I could consciously make a decision to not be afraid and to follow where God led us, trusting in Him even when the way looked dark or painful. Scary stuff, but our Heavenly Father does care for us and is merciful and loving, always.

God always has a reason when we suffer, so even during the painful process of adopting, and parenting, our special children I remember that pain has a purpose. For me that purpose has been, first and foremost, to learn to trust in the Lord with my WHOLE heart, unreservedly. Secondly, the pain has given me empathy for others in the adoption triad, the caseworkers, and extended family members of the child. I'm also very aware of the children waiting for families and those in foster care. I've also learned to understand my Dh more, as he was a foster child who aged out of the system.

So don't know if you can use that since we didn't really deal with infertility and have to work through that particular issue.

[mdesi]

I have never had a successful pregnancy. I got pregnant after 4 years of trying, twice on Femara. Both ended in a miscarriage. A year later, we did IVF, got pregnant, and had a m.c. At the time I cried to God in anguish, and was pretty angry with him. I told him about it. I prayed and asked why he would give me a heart to be a mother, and no child to mother. Then, I started meeting people who had adopted. Everytime I prayed about my infertility or faltered on the idea of adoption or cried out in anguish about IF, God put someone in my life that had adopted. He has made it crystal clear that this is my path to His plan. (Although we are having a minor financial set back, I still think it will happen.)

[Rubi]

I just think God knows best for us.....What bothered me of our fellow Christians during our infertility road was that they made us feel guilty, telling us that we must pray differently or harder...Some priest even told us that we are being punished for the sins of our parents!!!This hurt us so mutch that I couldn't pray for a year!!! Then one day when I suddenly realized (after 3 unsucsessfull ICSI's) that this was the end of the raod, we will never be able to have children biologicly...Then I started thinking of adoption....The Lord gave us wonderfull scripts to help us in making this choice....He blessed us with 2 wonderfull boys!!!!A few weeks ago the dr ran some tests that showed that I might suffer from Von Willebrand disease....that people with this disease isn't suppose to fall pregnant because it is inherritant and I could die ect....This just shows again, that God knows what is best for us all.....