[bromanchik]

Originally Posted by cornickml

In reference to your question about why I'd don't want my son to remember his birth parents...I guess it goes back to a comment from "Lilly's Mom" above that it addresses my insecurities as a mom.

My son was only a day old when he came home therefore he's always been mine and I guess just like any biological parent...I don't want to share the parenting role with anyone else or have him think of someone else as his mother...until of course he's ready to know.

The thing is he's not "always been" your baby. His first mother carried him for 9 months. While he may not remember this on a conscious level, he does have pre-verbal memories of her voice, her touch, her smell and movements. No, she is not parenting him now, but she "parented him" while she was pregnant with him.

I suggest you look to God for guidance on this one. God is there to calm our fears and insecurities so we can embrace love. God is always inclusive, He opens our hearts, not shuts them down.

[bajj]

Very well said, Brenda.

To the OP, my 6 yr olds Bmom has only seen him twice since he was born. We always invite her to his birthday parties and she tried to come to his 5th (the other invitations never made it to her for some reason - I don't have an address so I send to the agency). She had a flat and couldn't make it. She thought she had our number programmed into her phone, but she had forgotten to do that.

Anyway, my point is, maybe something came up and they couldn't call. Also, my son does ask about his Bmom from time to time. He does not remember seeing her, but he does ask about her. He does miss her, and he loves her. Now that he is older, he writes her letters.

Please don't let your insecurities stop you from having what can turn out to be a huge blessing in yours and your child's life. I know they didn't show this time, but maybe you can try and reschedule.

I do understand those insecurities. I've been there myself.