[bajj]

Good point, Barksum.

[ContactChar]

During DS's dedication, the pastor made a big deal before the church about the fact that I had adopted DS, and how wonderful that was, that DS would have opportunities in life, etc. I just stood silently (in part because I wasn't supposed to say anything anyway!), but it really bothered me. For one thing, I have NO DOUBT that if I hadn't adopted DS, someone else would have, so he wouldn't have been "thrown to the wolves" (as the pastor's statements seemed to imply). Also, doing something good for someone else never really entered my mind-- I just wanted to be a mom-- so it seems hypocritical to now take credit for some "noble" act.

On the other hand, I think it probably helped the pastor to dwell on the adoption, since I am a single mom. Rather than a "heathen," I can be noble! Also, it is a good thing that God arranged it so that DS and I were available to fill each other's needs. . . but that's not my doing! I'm simply along for the ride.

[devildogwife]

I get a lot of similar comments, especially because of my son's heart defect. It makes me very uncomfortable and I still really don't know how to respond. I think DH and I are just doing what good parents do. Good thread ani.

[mrsred]

This thread really is an interesting one. It really is hard when someone says, in front of my kids, how "saintly" I am to take them in. Especially as they were all older adoptions, and very much aware of everything. Because of that, and because I believe it, I make a point of turning it around, saying that dh and I are the ones blessed, and that we are thankful God has chosen us to parent our kids.

[feelingreyt]

My dh and I get the comment all the time how "lucky" my ason is. I just smile and tell them that He is our blessing and he has made us very happy. Then I go on to tell them how "in love" my biochildren are with their little brother and how my 3 yr old was claiming him as his brother before we were even asked to adopt him. I honestly believe that the Lord prepared my 3 yr old for the changes in our family. He tells me all the time how Jesus loves his baby brother.