[bajj]

Is anyone starting the adoption process for the first time? Second time? Third time?

We are about to start for #3.

[blessedbybug]

We're still on the fence about #3 but deciding not to decide right now. Our option would be foster-adopt at this point and since we moved, we'd basically have to start over in a new region. Maybe in the New Year????

Was it tough to make the decision to go for #3? I want fiercely to have more children but knowing what I know... sigh...

[bajj]

Well, we have known we would want more. We just didn't feel like our family was complete yet. However, deciding WHEN to start was tough. Especially seeing how they bicker now. I'm wondering if it's a good thing or not.

But, the positives of the boys and their interactions far far out weight the bickering. I am looking forward to being officially waiting. Not sure when that will be, but hopefully very soon!

[tipler03]

Well, I am a newborn when it comes to starting out. I just joined this board the other day because I am just starting to research foster to adopt. I am just researching, have no decided if we are going to do it yet or not. My dh and I are both 26, found out he can't have kids, and I have always wanted a large family. I researched international adoption for a very long time and was really thinking that was what we were going to do but have since decided not to.

No matter what we decide, we will not be starting our journeying to our children until we get some bills paid off which will probably be in a year at least.

We live in PA and as I said, we are both 26 and agree that we will be adopting in some form for our children

[bajj]

Dori,

Welcome to the forums! It's good to research all of your options. There are many, many ways to build a family and many, many avenues of adoption, too.

I pray you find the one that is right for the two of you!

[tipler03]

Thanks for the welcome and the prayers are greatly appreciated.

[love4ababy]

Hello, I'm Kim my hubby and I have recently started looking into adoption to create our family. We are new to all of this. We are hoping to adopt a newborn domestically. We have narrowed down our choices to two agencies that we like. (IAC and Lifetime. Any opinions on either of those?)

[bajj]

Welcome Kim! I believe you just joined another group that I help moderate.

I have never worked with any of those agencies. You came to a good place for support!

This is a reminder to pm this user with any information on these agencies. Thanks!

[mama_again]

Hey 1st time for sure..... we have been in it for a few months, finalization is soon to come up, excited and ready - we are praying and believing... things are great - it is the 1st, but may not be the last... It is so beautiful to walk in this and see the love and hearts change in the lives around us. So many people we meet now considering adoption, where they may never have given thought to it... I am still amazed and totally counting my blessings in it all... The handprints of the Master have touched every bit it~~~~

[bajj]

mama, we have friends who after we adopted decided to as well. They were always afraid to because of the horror stories you hear about. When they saw how it was for us, they decided to as well. they adopted through the foster system and we haven't done that yet.

[msdizzydolores]

Hello everyone. I haven't posted in a few weeks because of school, but I will try and get back into the swing of things.

My name is Dolores and I still getting my feet wet in regards to the process of adoption. My journey began in mid-March; I completed my application packet and adoption documents by the end of March; had my first homestudy visit in May; my second homestudy visit in June and was approved a day after my last home study visit....

I have turned down a fair amount of matches (I specifically stated I wouldn't accept these issues in my profile because I would be a single parent) because workers just wanted to get some of their children out of the system. Last week I was denied a match with a 4 1/2 yr old bi-racial child from DE that I believe I was a great match for. She is being placed with the family that adopted one of her siblings.

I was heartbroken. I don't think I have still dealt with it and I am very scared that a 6 month old drug exposed (who has no known health or development issues...PRAISE GOD!!!!) child I have inquired about, will also be denied.

Her caseworker really loved my profile, has called me numerous times and has emailed me because she appreciates the level of active interest I have in adopting this child. Yesterday was the deadline for accepting profiles for the baby and I have been fasting and praying all month along with some of my students (I am a recruiter for a Christian University), co-workers and my family. My mother (SHE IS MY PASTOR) really wants me to adopt her, so I am going to continue to pray for favor, while also praying that God's will be done.

I am scared out of my mind and have been having doubts about getting into this arena. I keep talking myself into the fact that I should have just gotten inseminated like I was going to, but I have always wanted to adopt since I was a child and I believe it would have been selfish to bring another child into the world when so many are here and need loving families.

Please pray that if I am not matched with this child that I can continue to have faith and trust God's hand. This process is harder than I imagined it would be and I starting to question God....WHY?????

[bajj]

Dolores, adoption is a huge emotional journey. It might not be physically difficult, but it is emotionally!

Hang in there and don't lose faith!

(((((((hugs))))))

[msdizzydolores]

Thank you Ani.
I have read so much from other posters, but never took it much to heart, until now.

WOW. I have forced myself in the past week to not bring my adoption folder with me, go and read posts from all of the message boards I belong to, etc.

My school work has suffered every since I got approved to adopt. I almost failed one class...and I never get grades below an A or B.
SO my coworker as she usually does, put it in plain terms: "You need to focus on school. When it's the right time the adoption and the right child will come along. Don't focus on it. Focus on school. It will work out!"

And she was right. So since that day, I have actively put inquiring about children on hold, I am waiting patiently for the group to meet about the 6 month old and then get back to my worker...I will just sit back and wait on God.

Don't get me wrong...this is HARD and the desire to have a child is making me be so overzealous. I am infertile, unmarried and the desire to be a mother and wife is weighing on my heavily.

I keep asking God why have I been living holy and righteous and he is not answering these desires? Obviously he put them there, but when is he going to tap me on the shoulder and tell me it's my turn?

I am forcing myself not to cry because I just don't understand why so many people who dont deserve to be married or to be parents have the dream I have always dreamed and fantasized about, and I don't have it?

Internally, I have been telling myself if I don't get matched with this baby, I am just going to give up, or find the means to adopt internationally. But that's a poor attitude and I don't want to feel that way, but I do.

I'm trying to hang in there....I just don't know how much longer I can keep up the front. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I think I am starting to show my frustration, disappointment and depression about losing so much in my 35 years of life.

Thank you so much for replying. I am going to continue to trust God. I have no other choice (Tye Tribbett...I need to go and listen to that!!!) but to trust him!!

*hugs*

[tipler03]

I've just begun to research the options of adoption through foster. We have not yet decided which route we are going but I wanted to tell you that I know how you are feeling, partially. I am married but my dh is unable to impregnate me and I've gone through all those feelings of why them and not me? Why do those young teen aged girls have babies or those horrible people that abort them? I'm getting better with these feelings and realizing that God has a reason and time for everything. I will be praying for you and if you need to vent or talk, I'm here for ya! Feel free to message me privately on here.

God bless you and may He comfort you through this,

Love in Christ,
Dori

[bajj]

I understand to a degree, Dolores. While I am married to a wonderful man, I did wonder why everyone else was pregnant and not me.

I have to tell you, looking back, I am SO THANKFUL I could not conceive at that time in my life. I just wasn't ready to be a Mom even though I thought I was. I needed to go through the pain and grow up a bit, first.

My boys are such a huge blessing to me. I believe God's timing and His planning is bigger and better than anything we can imagine. It might not turn out how we plan, but His is better.

Hold on tight and don't let go, even when you feel like you're drowning.