[Yash]

Hey Guys,

I'm the proud new mama of a baby girl. YIPPEEE!!! My Sasha was born on 12/13. The day before two of her aunts birthday. Another Christmas baby to go along with her brother and myself and her two aunts and her cousin. She came home on her aunt's wedding anniversary 12/21.

I'm taking these all as signs she was meant to be placed with me.

The CW says they want to fast track her adoption. Yeah, Jory's was fast tracked and it took 19 months and 2 days. Let's hope this is really fast tracked and we could be done before her first birthday. Okay, so I'm hoping before the end of summer, but I'll take before 12/13/07.

She was so unexpected. When I last talked to my SW at Thanksgiving time, she said that I shouldn't expect a call from her until sometime next year. I was expecting a call around Easter since my agency was only on May applications and mine was Sept, but obviously God had other plans. Other glorious plans.

She's an angel. She's so precious. And now all Jory's clothes I saved I look at and say, "My baby girl can't wear those blue clothes." LOL!

My two-year-old angel has his moments/fits of jealousy over his sister. And other times he's mommy's big helper with Kasha (that's what he calls her.)

It's taken me a while to post about Sasha and I've been pondering why. I was all about posting about Jory when he came home two years ago. I realize I was afraid.

When Jory was placed in my arms, I was two months out of my foster parenting classes. And they in know way truly prepare you for becoming part of the system, dealing with the system, integrating the system into your life. I'm not sure they really can.

The moment I held Jory in my arms, I never once doubted that his adoption would fall through. Or that some random relative would pop up and say they wanted to adopt him. Or his birth parents would get their acts together. I was blissfully unaware of the true possiblities of all this happening.

But now with my adoption yahoo groups, adoption message boards, going to adoption support group meetings, my eyes have been opened. I know of things that go wrong, the games birth parents can play, the screw ups that happen in court, the poor decisions the judges make, the mistakes the SWs make. And it all frightened me. I held this precious, gift of God in my arms called Sasha and I was afraid.

My fear stopped me from emailing my loved ones with the good news. Of telling friends when they called me to wish me happy birthday, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year. Instead of shouting my good news at the top of my lungs, I remained silent.

Petra sings, "No weapon formed against me shall prosper/I will not fear what the devil may bring me/I am a servant of God/I am a servant of God." These lyrics echoed in my head and still I was silent. Romans 8:15 says, "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.'" Finally these words took root and I started to believe. I believed that God had placed Sasha in my home and in my arms. The One who holds the future in His hands had given me this precious Christmas gift and it was now my turn to say, "Thanks" and take that step of faith.

Is the fear gone completely? No. I'm still praying on that one. When the devil started knocking, I should have let Jesus open the door. But I didn't. But I've wisened up and am trying really hard to let Him take control of the situation.

How can I not have complete faith in the Creator of the heavens of the earth? The Maker who put the sun in the sky. The One who knows the number of hairs in my head. I AM has entrusted me with this new life. Whom shall I fear?

Just when I think
My faith is gone
I hear your sweet voice
Crying out, "Hold on"
It's amazing how we
Were somehow meant to be
And I now I can breathe again

And I believe in love
And I believe in peace
And I believe someday you'll return for me
And I believe in things
That I cannot see
But when my heart says no
I still believe

Working to hear "Well done,"

Yash

[HappyTwinsMom]

What exciting news! Congratulations, and I hope the process goes quickly and smoothly.

[Yash]

Thank you very much.

[redbonec]

How very exciting!

You talk about your fear, but from your post I can tell that your joy overshadows it!

Congratulations!

[Yash]

redbonec,

I'm glad my joy is shining through. Thanks.

[123diamond123]

All I can say is GOD IS GOOD!

[Yash]

123Diamond123,

He is good all the time!

[Withay]

Yash -

Always remember that Our God Is An Awesome God

Blessings

[Yash]

Please keep Sasha, Jory, and I in your prayers. A bio relative has popped up and has said she would like to adopt Sasha. The judge has given her the go ahead to begin the paperchase.

I know it's all in God's hands and I know that He knows Sasha, Jory, and I better than we know themselves and that all things work out to His glory in the end, but I"m praying that its His will this precious baby girl stays and becomes my forever daughter. I am eternally grateful and humbled for the peace He has given about this situation, but my soul still prays that I can keep her.

Thanks for listening.

Withay, you're so right Our God is an awesome God. Have you heard He reigns from heaven above with wisdom, power, and love?

As my friend's kids learned in Awana about Moses - - "Moses had a problem, but God had a plan."

Yash and Sasha have a problem, but God has a plan.

[devildogwife]

You'll all be in my prayers Yash. I'm so glad that God has given you a peace about this.

[Yash]

Thanks Leah.