[DFSquare]

Hi all,

I'm hoping this will be a safe place to post this. We have been praying about our adoption for over a year now. The Lord has given us a dollar figure for expenses - $10,000. That's it. That is to do it all, including finalization.

That is a really small amount by most agency standards. Word of mouth is not turning up anything as we are in a very small community.

I know in my heart the Lord will provide us the right connections. We are seeking a little girl and feel confident He has said yes, He will give us a daughter.

But that darn head of mine is trying to figure it all out. Are we supposed to use an agency? Are we supposed to use a facilitator (this was a NO)? Do we try Parent Profiles at $85/month (that will kill the budget very quickly)?

I know He is never late. But I'm starting to really struggle with waiting.

Thank you for letting me vent and please let me know if you are familiar with an agency with very low fees.

Dawn

[Vogi2002]

Although YES we should trust in God, we should also not stand idle and expect him to do all the work KWIM? parentprofiles is probably your best bet IMO, but I would start researching agencies that are low cost.

Are you open to all races? 10,000 is not very high, you might be able to do this for an AA or BR baby, but a CC girl (is girl the only sex you are open to?) will be hard to find. Private adoption is probably your only route here with that budget, and that means doing what you are doing, advertising on your own, word of mouth. Parentprofiles you have to be working with an agency or attorney I believe, but you'll have to have one of these anyways. Have you had a a homestudy? This is another thing that must be done first....

Good luck and God will come through!

Natalie

[mj77]

If you are a bit open to race or open to adopting a year old girl or older you can try going through your state where adoption is free. We were blessed with both our boys this way. Plus their medical needs are covered until they are 18. In addition we get a subsidy which helps with some of their needs.

[waiting4amiracle]

I don't mind diving in here to help with some insight because we're doing much of what Nat mentioned.

ParentProfiles - some will give you positive and negative feedback on them but thus far we've gotten quite a bit of traction and visibility through the site. As with any other forum we've had our share of scams and potential matches which fell apart before our eyes but we've remained steadfast in our belief in miracles. The initial upfront cash outlay for PP is going to be approximately $300 and then somewhere between $85 to $99 per month PLUS a fee to run on a monthly basis. They offer a discount if you're willing to sign up for a 6 month commitment which, in a budget-constrained situation may work for you. You might also be able to get a discount through the agency which conducts your home study (ours gave us a code which provided us a credit for the full cost of the profile "set-up" fee). Only you know what your finances can handle. Even at $100 per month for a period of 18 months (generally quoted as average time to match and place a CC, female newborn) that's $1800 of your $10k budget. You do need a home study before you can even have an active profile on PP and they can range up to $1000; it all depends upon the agency. So there's $2800 of your budget. You'll also need a letter from either your attorney or the agency which conducted your home study before PP will activate your profile.

Attorney - I would caution you here - and some will disagree but from my perspective you CAN NOT pursue an adoption without advice of counsel. Do yourself a favor and if you're looking for the best way to spend your money and get the best value for it, do your homework and find yourself an attorney who offers a reasonable retainer and not an hourly billing structure. If you're in the NY/NJ area I'm happy yo provide you with contact information for the attorney with whom we're working. Once you hire an attorney (Quad A is the way to go IMHO) you could be looking at a total cost of $8800 (includes the costs above).

Word of Mouth - For prospective adoptive couples THIS is the most valuable asset we have. By telling a small group of people my DW and I have broadened our "information network" by hundreds of people. You have to be willing to let people know you are seeking to grow your family through adoption and provide them with contact information where EMoms can reach you.

Other - We spent about $500 to place a small ad in our Parish bulletin. It will run for one year and if we're lucky and blessed enough to match and have a placement before our yer is over we can change the text to reflect our new addition to our family. We spoke to our pastor about it and (a) he was thrilled we included him early in our journey, (b) thought the ad was a great idea because what better place to advertise for an adoption than in our Parish bulletin, and (c) our ad will be seen by thousands of people each week.

My DW and I are true to our faith and pray fervently for God to grant us our miracle and we know it will be granted when the time is right and when the right baby for us is going to be born. While I agree we must continue to put our faith and trust in God, it is also widely know that God helps those who help themselves. As an propsective adoptive couple you are your best advocates and the only way to effectively advocate for yourself to is make sure people know about your journey.

I wish you all the best on your journey and am happy to share other thoughts along the way - just ask!

Godspeed as you begin your journey!

[babe4us2004]

If you are open to African American or biracial child I know a good christian agency that only charges 5,000 to 7,500 for the total adoption fees. PM me or email me at babe4us2004@aol.com

God Bless,

[kimmom]

Have you checked into applying for grants? I can't personally vouche for them, but I believe that the founder of Wendy's, Dave Thomas, has a foundation that helps ease the financial burden of adoption and I have ran into a list of possible grants on the Kingdom Kids adoption web site. I have recently felt the call to adopt. I had never seriously considered it until it hit me like a ton of bricks and wham there was the majority of the money that we needed. It was so obviously His plan, now it is my calling! All that I can scream is OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD!!! I think that you know that if you are being called you will find the money. I am trying to remember that I will do ANYTHING for God, even work overtime, get a second job, NEVER eat out (this may sound stupid, but those aren't things that I would generally feel called to do). Remember that sacrificing to follow your calling does not mean that you are loosing anything, if He pointed directly to you and asked you to do something, you would do it. Look really hard even at the stuff you really, really don't want to see, I'll bet he's pointing. I'll pray for your eyes to stay open, and please pray for mine. I honestly struggle every day to do what I know is right when it isn't what I want to do. I mean I STRUGGLE!!! May God grant us BOTH the strength to stay on His path!!!

[jumpingfroggy]

I know that my county has a relinquished baby program. You might try contacting your local children's services office and inquire. I know in my county that the wait it not nearly as long as people think it is (less then a year). It's worth a phone call.

[DFSquare]

I wanted to give you a little info on us.

We are a military family living in Germany for the next 2 years. We have 2 boys at home. We want a daughter and I'm unable to safely have more children.

We are a CC family but open to several races or mixed races. We have a completed, approved homestudy for up to 2 children.

We have discussed Oklahoma's foster/adopt children as they actively pursue military families and have placed several children here in the last year.

We have been telling everyone we meet, people at church (maybe we need to be more proactive there?), my DH's job and people I encounter as I volunteer around the base.

I have started back to substitute teaching and we will be putting everything I make into our adoption account. Thank you, Lord for the job!

And we are active in the local adoption support group that also maintains a book of letters to birth families.

The group has had previous members make business cards/ads and post them in the common rooms of the dorms on all the surrounding bases or even put a sign on their cars.

Anyway, that's about where we are. I'm just having a rough week and the enemy is working overtime on my mind. I guess I need to brush up on Joyce Meyer's The Battlefield of the Mind!

Thanks all!

Dawn

[Boulderbabe]

You said you're considering fost/adopt. It's great, and I highly recommend it--and it's FREE! Even better, sometimes you get paid $10,300 when the adoption is final!

There are 800,000 kids in the system right now, many of whom are waiting for homes. The home study process is totally free---the county or state pays. In my state, the only thing I have ever paid for is $50 to get my CPR certification. My son received a subsidy of $345 a month for the entire two years he was a foster child, and I got the adoption tax credit of $10,300 when the adoption was final. He also gets free medical care until he's 18 through Medicaid.

My son was 21 days old when he came to me, and barring a few ear infections, he's totally healthy. He's 3 now and a great kid.

If you're really on a tight budget, save that $10K for your child's college education. When you adopt through the foster care system, you're giving a home to a kid who is really, really in need of one.

[D&J'smom]

I don't really have any knew information to offer but I wanted to encourage you with my story. I have know that I wanted to be a mom and would not give birth since I was a preteen. So I always knew adoption was right for me. I also knew that I wanted to have my first child by 25. Silly and impossible I know but it was what was in my heart. From what I read it would be nearly impossible to find an agency that works with couples that young nor would we have a good chance at being picked by a birth mom. Well 2 weeks before my 26 birthday I got a call from someone related to someone in our church wanting to know if we still wanted the baby of her relative. The very next day I came home with my baby girl. It took a year to finalize because money and a poor attorney but we had our girl. By the way it only cost around 4 thousand. I just wanted to share this with you to encourage you that God has it handled. We were seeking to adopt at that time; we weren't perpared for her. AS a matter of fact in the natural it was the wrong time. My husband was gone with the military and money was tight not to mention we were still pretty young but God knew she was coming and had already prepared our hearts for her. I couldn't have been happier or loved her more.

[DFSquare]

I just wanted to say thank you to all who have replied with encouragment.

My Bible study group is doing Battlefield of the Mind for the next few weeks. So that will help as well.

Keep the enouragment coming!

Dawn

[smparr]

Hi, I live in Washington and have adopted 4 kids from China. There is an adoption agency here that pays for some or all adoption expenses when they are trying to get a special needs child adopted. I've requested information from them in the past but have decided to stop at 4! I bet there are other agencies out there that help with adoption fees. Also, a friend of mine that has adopted from both China and Russia got several grants that went a long way in helping with the adoption expenses. So, God has told you YOUR budget is $10,000 - maybe the rest is to be provided? I truly believe that God knows EXACTLY who your daughter is. Most of the time it is a puzzle to get from the vision to the completion! God bless you in your endeavor. Sherrie