[mommy2be2006]

Hi all -- I'm new to this forum and truly seeking some spiritual help. My husband and I lost our baby girl when she was 10 days old in early 2004. We have been unable to get pregnant since. The grief I experienced when our dd died was one of the most intense emotions I have ever had. Now we are going through a local adoption process and as the birth mother's due date is drawer nearer (June), and I am realizing that this may actually happen... I also am starting to fear that she is going to change her mind. What I am struggling with is that while I trust God for the final outcome (that it will be Good as His Will desires), I am having a hard time trusting Him with my emotions.... what if He lets me endure the kind of grief this summer like I did when we lost our daughter? I am so scared. I would do anything to avoid that pain again.... even though I know He is soverign in all things... I just don't think I can survive another loss like that again. Any advice - or simply some prayers - would be appreciated. I have all kinds of verses going through my head that I know should relate but I'm having a hard time reconciling my heart.

Thank you.

[StorkWatcher]

I have sounded out some advice in my head a few times now, but nothing sounds really good or like it would be truly helpful! So I'm just thinking of you and will pray for a lot of comfort and peace to be sent your way.

The waiting is SO hard. Truly, I don't know how people get through this if they don't have faith! Keep praying for yourselves and for the expectant mother and for this precious little angel she's carrying - it's the best thing you can do right now.

Good luck and keep us posted!

[momraine]

I have no advice, but I will pray for you. When I am having a tough time I find playing loud praise music helps me, but that might just be me. LOL

[ggman]

for sharing you heart, first of all. I think that a lot of times we try to pretend that everything is A-okay, and that we are strong and can handle it... but it's so HEALTHY for us to share our struggles... in fact, it's Biblical!

I read somewhere that the loss of a child is considered the most stressful situation that a person can endure. (Even higher on the stress chart than losing a spouse...) But that said, I don't pretend to understand your pain. The only thing that I can do is pray-- and that is what I will do for you today...

Dear Father--

I thank you that nothing that happens in our lives is a surprise to you. I know that you know all of the details of our lives and that even when we feel like we cannot endure one more second of something, you know EXACTLY how much we can take and promise to not allow more than we can endure.

Lord, I lift this family up to you. I know that you understand the pain of losing a child, as you lost your only child so that we could all have life. God, I thank you that their little baby is up in heaven hugging the neck of Jesus, and that they will reunited someday-- you tell us that in heaven we will recognize each other! That you for that. Thank you that we have a hope for beyond this world.

God, I pray for all the details of this pending adoption. I pray for the adoptive family, the birth family, and the child. I pray that your will be done. I pray for peace and healing for every person involved. If it's your will for this family to adopt this baby, I pray for an easy transition, healthy attachment, health and provision. And while we understand that nothing can ever fully take away the hurt and pain of losing their daughter, I pray that the arrival of this baby would help soothe hearts. God we believe that you are a redemptive God and that you have the power to use ANYTHING, no matter how painful it is, for your good.

Thank you for Jesus. We love you, Amen.

[ChasingRainbows]

Praying for you. Please be patient with yourself. It is ok to feel these feelings. Don't deny them. Just allow them to come and give them to God. Share with your husband and find a strong woman friend you can share with and rely on.

The Bible talks about older women helping the younger women. Is there someone you can ask for help with spiritual direction?

Sending you hugs, and promise to pray daily for you.

[bajj]

First, let me say how very sorry I am over your loss.

It is quite normal to be experiencing fear. Just know that God has your child picked out for you and by what method they will come to you. My head usually knows that, but my heart doesn't always agree!

You are in my prayers and please keep us updated.

[Yash]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know that you and your husband are in my prayers.

Yash

[momofmykids]

Mommy2be2006,
I feel your pain. My sweet daughter, Georgia, died 8 weeks ago from sids. I can sympathize with you. Please know that I am praying for you and can't wait to hear that your adoption is final!!!

[mj77]

Mommytobe2006, You need to know where that FEAR comes from. Know that the enemy wants to rob you of your joy by whispering every word of doubt to bring down your faith and spoil whatever blessing God has for you. God does allow negative things to happen, but it is part of us living in a fallen world not always because they were willed by God. I think I can say with confidence that the Lord is not playing games with your emotions. Yes, this mother has a choice to place or to change her mind--BUT GOD loves you and your dh and wants His goodness in your life. Know that even if something did happen and the mother changed her mind, the mighty arms of Christ would surround you and comfort you. God will never give you more than you can bear. Adoption is most always risky, but having the Lord at your side makes it more bearable. I know it must feel like you are waiting to exhale until this mom signs the papers. God hears you and he knows your heart. He loves you and wont leave you. You are in my prayers and I truly pray God's precious little blessing into your arms really soon.

In Him,
MJ

[mommy2be2006]

Thank you all for your prayers and wonderful reminders of God's love. I may need to read them daily just so I don't lose sight of things. I know you are all right about the enemy whispering things to me... and the bad thing is I am so emotionally distraught after our last meeting with the birth mom that I am listening to him more than I should. I know I could sit here and give all the details of why I am so upset but every time I start to write it I realize that it doesn't matter... because if it is meant to be, then it is meant to be. But trying to keep that in perspective when I fall into the self-pity trap is another thing.... argh. Thanks for listening


On another note... I need to figure out how to get more forum savvy... I haven't got a clue what most of the icons mean or all this other stuff! It is so great though to be connected to people like you. Thank you!!

[Truthdefenders]

Mommy2be,

I am so sorry about your precious daughter. Your pain must still be so fresh. I never lost a child that I had met, but I had 4 miscarriages. I also had the privilege of meeting my good friends' little boy (He only lived 3 hours.) So, while I can't fully grasp your pain, I've had a pretty good taste of it.

A loss like yours will always come into play when babies are involved. No matter how much our brain knows, our emotions take over in these circumstances. I know the fear of not wanting to get your heart all wrapped up, in case things don't work out. But with children, we can't help but get our hearts wrapped up. So, the best we can do is to ask for God's mercy and trust Him.

I do know that God loves and cares about you, and has your best interests in mind. And I do know that Jesus will be with you no matter what happens.

I will pray that God will give you peace in the midst of your fears. I will also pray for you to trust Him with this. I will also pray for the birth mother. Please let us know how things work out.

[alwaysus]

I am so sorry for your loss. Our son Joshua Paul died when he was 7 moths old,that was 16 years ago and I still miss him.
God gave us these emotions, so let yourself have them. Don't let them rule you, but don't ignore them. I was always taught that we can't help how we feel, we can only help how we act on those feelings.

I wish you the best with your adoption!

[b4truth]

my prayer for you momtobe2006 and momofmykids:
Lord, bless both of these mothers with a peace that only You know, that only You can provide. Open their eyes to Your unfailing faithfulness and unconditional love for them, for sometimes grief blinds us. Help them as they struggle with "why!" Help us as we struggle with "why!". May Your grace be their umbrella, may Your peace be their refuge, may Your blessings be poured out on them. May they know the love of another child, according to Your will, knowing that one child can not replace another, but instead that You reward those who diligently seek You. Thwart the efforts of the devil to weaken their faith. May they know with a surity that You want to give them a hope and a future. Lord of all heaven, meet their needs as their hearts and ours cry out to You. You are faithful to answer.
Amen.
Blessed are those who mourn for they WILL be comforted. matt 5:4