[dtmom2b]

How do you all handle questions from strangers when out with DC?

I have recently had a few people say "oh look at those beautiful blue eyes" (my DS eyes) and then look at my eyes (which are hazel) and say "oh must be daddy's eyes (his are brown)..... I just shake my head and look at them, not wanting to go into details.... what should I do or say? I don't really want to share our whole adoption story with a total stranger but feel funny too not saying anything. Any suggestions

[Roo_Flyer]

We got that kind of question over our DD's curly hair. Since we have straight CC hair and she has Biracial curly hair, I'd just smile the proudest smile and say, "Right from God". I've also just grinned right back and agreed that her hair/skin color/eye color etc. is beautiful!
BTW, one of our bio DD's had blue eyes until about 3 yo then they've begun slowly changing to my DH's hazel.

[blessedbybug]

Honestly, it's their perception... so I don't think you have to explain. I do not look like my parents as much as my sibs do. People even asked Mom if I was adopted.

Crazy, because with DD it seems everyone who knows she came to us through adoption go out of their way to say how much she looks like me. I just think it's their way of making conversation. You don't have to be rude, but you don't have to tell them the story.

I think saying something like... we think her eyes are beautiful... is about as far as you need to go.

[jheald]

Personally I wouldn't make it a big issue. Just grin and bear it and say "thank you." You don't owe anyone a story.

Janet

[Mia's Daddy]

No matter where we are, people are compelled to make a comment about our beautiful daughter. Mia looks so much like my wife and so many times we hear that she looks like her mama...she does! However, we have no problem sharing our journey with anyone who will listen. It is an awesome transition into God's love for us. Most people are very interested. I figure that it was God that carried us through the journey and it is a testimony to His goodness so if someone wants to listen, I will share!

[clshepherd]

Strangers can say the funniest things if you think about it. At the store with my DD and DH, the cashier (all of 17 or so) mentioned that she was excited to have kids one day -and wanted to know if it was true that you don't remember the pain of childbirth. I looked at her and truthfully said, "I don't remember a thing about her birth." My husband just groaned and rolled his eyes at me.

No need to tell this young lady the details - and just the enjoy the comedy of it myself! HA!

[Prof_Snape]

What really annoys me is when We told people we are adopting and their first response is "Why can't you have babies?" Now, understand that not everyone had this response I would say 85 percent did.

I came to the conclusion that the people who ask this are nosy or it just doesn't click that this might be a "tacky" question to ask someone who's adoptiong.

My family never asked why we were adopting, they were too excited about a new baby to ask...

Sue & Keith

October 2005 Started adoption Process
Adoption orientation
Physical exam complete
November 2005 All paper work complete
Paper work accepted
FBI Clearance submitted
December 2005 First Interview (accepted by agency)
Cpr and First aid class complete
Live scan complete
January 2006 FBI clearance..finally!
Began 33 hour adoption class

[4baby02]

Do you think some birthmoms choose the adoptive parents based on what they look like? Maybe thinking there are some similarities so the child can grow up looking somewhat like their parents?

I liked the comment about not remembering labor! I had a c-section with my dd, I will have to use that one for future comments!

[Maggie Beth]

We don't have this problem, as our children look very different from us... the "new" comment I recevied recently was someone suggesting that my dh must be the "stepdad" and the kids must be mine from a first marriage. I've just said, "No", but with a BIG smile on my face... like this

[twoinblue]

I'm going to pop in here and add my two cents. My parents both have hazel eyes. My younger siblings have hazel eyes. My older sister and I have bright blue eyes. Not even my grandparents have blue eyes! None of us really look alike and we are all biologically related. As we are getting older we look more alike but even biological families don't always match each other.

Mom would just say that it was the German in our background. That might work for you.

[akcskye]

My thought...just say "yes".

How do you know they aren't his daddy's eyes? His bio-daddy's that is...