[3girls'mom]

Hi!

I recently found out about a waiting child with special needs in the country where I live thru an American adoption agency. The project coordinator has exchanged approx. 10 e-mails with me and photos of the child, etc. We really sense that we are the right family for her.

A few days ago, I found out that we are eligible to do a domestic adoption and could adopt her as a native family, since my husband is a citizen of this country and we live here. The difference in the cost of domestic versus foreign-agency adoption is staggering. We are a single-income missionary family.

This coordinator has been so helpful, though, and I feel uneasy about going around this agency, since without them I wouldn't have known about this child. What would you do if you were in our situation?

Thanks!

[Sunshine Mom]

I think that God can use any situation to open doors. Why should you feel badly that you have an opportunity to adopt a child for less money? The child needs parents far more than the agency needs a commission.

[Sunshine Mom]

I also wanted to say, because I think my last message was a bit too, to the point, that agencies are a sales organization. The the same way that a car salesman can engender feelings of obligation to you by talking to his manager on your behalf or offerring you a special deal and then you feel badly if you go somewhere else, an agency is trying to sell you on adopting this child through them. Its a sales strategy that I know well because my husband runs a car dealership.

Focus on the end goal! Will the child be any less adopted if you adopt outside of that agency? Will there be any benefit to the child or to your family other than spending more money if you go through the agency?

Dont waste your time feeling guilty being a wise consumer of adoption services. Remember what Proverbs says about valued woman, she is also wise with her money.

[mj77]

When we were waiting, we opened whatever door we could. We didn't want to limit God in any way. We figured which ever way a child came to us would be a blessing.

[tobeafamily]

Be honest with the agency, they will understand. While some may believe that agencies are out to make a buck, really they want the children they work with to find their forever homes. If you can, consider making a charitible contribution to the agency in thanks, and be sure to share with them how things are going from time to time.

So tell the agency the truth - that you are going to adopt this child they introduced you to, and that because of your citizenship and such you can do so as a domestic situation. Period. If they are an ethical agency, they will rejoice in that you are going to become a family and wish you the best.

JMHO

Regina