[OnlyGod'sGrace]

Hello all,
I am new to the board but I certainly have enjoyed reading all the posts.
My story goes like this:
We have a bio. son, age 12. After struggling many years with endometriosis I ended up having an emergency hysterecomy in Aug. 2002. Thus, ended the chance of ever conceiving another bio. child. About 3 weeks ago, clear out of the blue..we were contacted with a private adoption opportunity of a baby that will be born very soon.

Since that time..our son has become very moody. He is very quick with his temper (not like him at all!) and complains of a headache all the time.

Now, I do know that he is probably stressed out - just as we are. But, does anyone have any advice on how to include him in the adoption without him being feel like it is forced? Could it be that he is jealous and the baby isn't even here yet?

Any advice would be appreciated!
Thank you.

[Jensboys]

Congratulations!

I think that 12 is still a fairly self centered time and he is probably worried about how this will affect HIM and HIS life. I think though, at 12, he is old enough for you to address it with him directly.

"If I were you, I would probably be freaking out that mom and dad were having a new baby and worried that we wouldnt have enough time for basketball practice anymore..." etc etc.

I think that if you validate his feelings without giving them more credit than they should have (meaning its not going to change your minds about adopting) he will come through it fine. This is the same reaction that alot of 12 year olds have when their parents are having a bio baby (except there's that gross my parents had sex factor to deal with ).

Let us know how it goes!

Jen

[OnlyGod'sGrace]

Jen,
I know you are right. I think it is all self-centered. But, at the same time he has to be thinking that this adoption is "messing with his own little world", he will have to share mom and dad. It's just hard to know what to say sometimes!?! But, I think that having a sibling will be good for him. Thanks so much for your post Jen! I really do appreciate it!