[davisgaskin]

Hi all. We are requesting prayer for two of our foster children. Towmorrow these children's county is supposed to make a decision on if/when the children go home. This situation is extremely difficult for us for two reasons. The first is we where told when we recieved these children that it was a preadoptive placement. We where told the termination was in progress. That was the entire reason we where picked to foster these children. Since that time all of that has changed. The other reason is that the children have been coming home with bruises and other unexplained marks on them after having visits. We have been told that they where going to go home before and they had even given us and the parents a go home date. The same day that happened the two year old "fell down" a flight of stairs which he had to go to the hospital for due to an eye and head injury. While at the hospital the parents asked if the children where still going to be going home on the scheduled date and CPS said yes. Three hours later when the visit was over the same child came back with an entire bruised hand print on his back. The hand print wasn't there at the hospital. So the kids didn't go back. Since that time they have increased the visits to send them home and other things like that have happened. So the county keeps changing their minds back and fourth. The county says that the parents are doing the very minumum of what is required so they won't terminate rights. Anyway I guess what I am asking is for prayer that God's will is done in this and that we have peace with what ever that maybe. Thanks so much for your prayers.

[Just Julie]

Oh dear. One certainly wonders what the government is thinking. How old is the other child? Are they able to tell you what happens when they are at home? Are you documenting and taking pictures of their bruises? Do they have siblings in the home? Surely dragging this out and all the back and forth visits must be hard on the kids. I will bew praying with you.

[Kimiko]

My heart aches for you and for those little ones. You all are in my prayers for sure. Just remember that God is watching over the children- after all, you were put in their lives. And it sure sounds like you show them the love and support they need. You are doing all that you can do. Just keep your chin up and know that it will work out soon. Julie mentioned a very good point, to document with dated pics every single incident of abuse or "accidents".
I will be including you in my prayers. Keep us updated.

[davisgaskin]

Thank you Julie and Kimiko. We have been documenting and taking pictures of everything. We have also been in almost daily contact with the case manager and caseworker. The children are 2 & 3 both of them are nonverbal. The are both very D.D. 3 year old has just started saying two words together. But they do things like grab our legs and scream when they see their parents. We also found out that the mom had been giving both of them adult levels of strattera. It was not perscribed for the boys. None of us including the county knew what was going on until the mom and dad broke up and the dad told cps. The amount of meds they where given at each visit could have killed them. But the county gave them a verbal warning and that was all. I guess I am just scared and frustrated with the situation. Thank you so much for your prayers.

[mj77]

Wow, I can't believe CPS would want to return these children! There has got to be people higher up than the cw and case manager that you can talk to. It's a scary thought these children being returned. God is the highest up, so I will release my prayers to Him.

[davisgaskin]

Today has been one of the hardest days in my life. Today we had to give the boys back to the birth family. We have had kids come and go many times but none have been this difficult. When we arrived to the meeting place we found that the boys dad didn't come. He had other things to do. The mom never said anything to the boys about being glad they are back or she had been waiting for this day to come. She said nothing. When L the 3 yr.old said hi to her she never even responded. We gave her the boys things and helped her to the car. The boys cried and L said over & over I love you Mom and Dad. When she put B in the car she put him in the front seat. B grabbed a lighter and was flicking it. She just said don't do that and let him keep it. She walked around the car and took B out and put him in the back seat. We didn't see the lighter anymore so we don't know what happened to it. She didn't think it was a big deal that he was playing with it she said if she needed any help she would call. I called and turned it in to our casemanager and she said she would let the county know. They are in God's hands and we can do nothing but pray for them now. We wanted God's will to be done but in situations like this it isn't easy to live with it. Now we will focus on praying not only for the boys safety but for the parents to do what is right & that they will have a personal relationship with God. Once again thanks for your prayers.

[China2004]

I am so sorry. We had placements come and go as well. Some going homes were good - hard but good. But when they are going somewhere unsafe it is horrible - thank God we at least can pray. That is all we have when they are gone.

My hardest placement was a boy we had at 6 weeks old and he left when he turned 10 months. The parents were not visiting. The mom told me on the one visit she did have ..... that the baby looked like a donkey and when he cried she said he was so naughty. This broke my heart - this little boy was my love and my life.

They told us extended family was interested. The social worker had sent them a letter from us and several other requests to see if they were really interested. They heard nothing. The night before the hearing (the one that takes it of reunification track and puts it on the adoption track) the aunt of the baby called. I was so sick about this. If I had a nephew born and I was interested in adopting him I would have called immediately.

Up until the minute he left I cried and prayed and believed God would do a miracle and we would get to continue to be his mom and dad..........but it did not work out that way.

Well after they picked him up and flew him home we were allowed to call and check on him. They thanked us for taking care of him and told us that when the mom came to their state they would be giving the baby to her. I could have died. I called the social worker and told her about this..........she said it was out of their hands.

I am sorry this is so long. I, to this day, am sad about this. I pray that he has had a wonderful life and is loved as much as we loved him. I pray that God will protect him and know that he is loved.

I understand your pain.

mimi

[davisgaskin]

Mimi, Thanks for posting. I am so sorry to hear of your situation. Foster care is never easy. At least letting the children go is not, like you said even in good situations it's hard. It is times like this that makes me thankful to know that God will not give us more than we can handel. As much as I would like to understand why things like this happen I think there are things we just are not supposed to understand. Our ways are not His ways. I believe that God sends us the children He wants us to have and for the amount of time He wants us to have them. Even if we don't agree with it. Thru this God has blessed us in so many ways, He is giving us so much peace right now. I admit that i have still had moments of tears but they will leave with time. It is just part of grieving the loss. I think people are called to foster. And loss is part of fostering. Sometimes the pain makes me question if this is really worth it or if God really wants me to foster. But the answer is always YES. And I am so thankful for all the children He has brought into our lives and the ones yet to come. As much as I am hurting today I can't imagine life without God or fostering. This verse popped out at me today so I thought I would share it. ( Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.)

God Bless,
Jill