[All Boys]

Oh the wait???? How do you do it?????
I get so frustrated sometimes, I just want to scream.
I know that all good things come to those who wait.... But I am tired too.... Tired of worring, tired of jumping everytime the phone rings, tired of waiting.....
Sometimes I think why keep up this roller coaster of emotions.. Not just for me but my boys too...
I have all faith in God and his timing.. Believe you me I have learned that the hard way in more ways than one.
But you know sometimes it all just bears down on you like the whole world is resting on your shoulders.
Why does this have to be such a roller coaster ride for some many of us???? Why oh why that is the question today on my mind......
I don't know why I am sitting here at almost midnight and just rambling on, well I do know why and that is why cause I don't know how to keep waiting... Except I guess I just have to take it one day at a time.... But how????
I doubt very seriously if any of this makes an sence to anyone...
I just needed to get it off of my mind. Now maybe I can sleep...
Please pray for me....
Thank You,
Gina

[kburch]

The uncertainty is the worst!! My husband and I have been officially 'certified' for a couple of weeks now, and I think I'm going to end up going cuckoo before the end. It's just so hard to prepare my heart and mind to deal with the 'could be tomorrow, six months from now, a week, a year, ...' reality that is now my life. I mean, if I knew it was going to be short or I knew it was going to be long, I could prepare accordingly. But, instead, I just have to make my plans for the 'cross-country Christmas trip to see family' while also making back-up plans in case we are blessed to have a child placed with us before Christmas and can't go... After all, it's unlikely, but our case manager was telling us today about another family that got matched in only about 5 weeks - could happen, right? AAHH!! Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I can sympathize...

[mj77]

Oh Gina,
I understand just how you feel. I know about the wondering if God is on a coffee break sometimes. I remember pleading with God to take my desire to me a mom to another child away because the waiting hurt so much sometimes. I felt so alone but had friends that wanted to support me but many didn't know how. I still spend many nights sitting in a hot bathtub crying. All I can do is remind you that God hears you. He hasn't left you. We don't get to know His plans always or right away. If we did, we might be more overwhelmed and confused or end up messing things up. These times I believe, our faith is being tried. So rejoice in that now you are at the point to put this matter into God's hands to take care of. You can't carry all this yourself because you are human. Don't allow the enemy to take this time that God is growing you and wanting to bless you to allow him to beat you down and take any of your joy. I don't know exactly why God uses situations like these to refine us, but I do know it brings humility, compassion of others, a drive to be the best mom and be thankful for what we have... I know, had some very special ladies in my life not gone through what God allowed them to go through, I wouldn't have had the wonderful support and Godly guidence that I recieved durring my hard times. I am right with you Gina. I have my good days and bad. But I have been encouraged to thank God for what He's done and what He's doing with me. He is not done blessing your life Gina. Hang in there and you are in my prayers tonight.

Melissa

[All Boys]

kburch, I know that there are so many of us waiters out there waiting and waiting..... And I know that it is hard for all of us... I am so thankful to the Lord for guiding me to this site.... There is no way that I could have made it through this without of my friends here. I mean I have friends here where I live, but none of them have ever adopted or have a clue as to what I am going through. But on this forum, I have made so many wonderful friends that I have never meet that are there for me when ever I need them.... And know that I am here for them when they need me. It is wonderful! !

Melissa, Thank you for the encouraging words.... And ecspecially for the prayers... Oh it is so hard just setting and waiting. I do the same thing sometimes, just sit in the girls bedroom and cry. Look at the little bed that is setting there ready and waiting for a baby to sleep in it. Sitting in the rocking chair holding a baby doll wanting my daughter to be sitting in the floor playing with it instead of me sitting there holding it. Folding and rearranging clothes and blanket for the hundredth time.....
And then there are days that I never even look in there and don't think a second thought about it. This has just been one of those weeks.....That it is all that I have been thinking about.

Again thank you for your prayers and you will be in mine...

Hugs,
Gina

[Wilna]

Hi Gina,

I echo your words and feelings!!!!!!!! Some days I am able to work hard and almost forget about the wait and then the next day, it hits me HARD. I am very goal orientated and this adoption yourney has taught me some valuable lessons! I know that God's timing is different from us and that He has our best interst at heart and have prepared our special child long before and will bring him or her to us in His good time, but I remain only a very weak and limited human being! I pray every day that the Holy Spirit will enable me to be patient and wait in peace!

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Love, Wilna (another waiting mother bordering on the brink of going crazy! But keep going by the grace of God)

[All Boys]

Wilna,

You are exactly right about the feelings. I am exaclty the same way.. Some days I can go all day long with out having many thoughts about it all... Then others it is all that I think about. That is how it has been for the last couple of days for me.
I know that God has a perfect plan.... And a perfest timing... And that he is always right on time.....
The Holy Spirit is the only thing that gets me through the hard times... God is good all the time.... And have perfect faith in him and his will....
But like I said it doesn't make the wait any easier for me.....

I will keep you in my prayers Wilna....

God Bless,
Gina

[mj77]

Hi Gina,
I remember having a nursery set up waiting for a young child to fill the empty crib. I had no idea whether we'd have a boy or a girl or what young age (under 2). I finally shut the door and decided not to go in becuase it hurt too much. I would have days where I would constantly think about a baby and grieve. Then I had days where I would say to myself, if my dh and I are all that make up of our family, that's okay. The roller-coaster of emotion is awful. Hearing anything from the cw would send me into a high or a tailspin. Not hearing anything would drive me to depression. It is the laboring of our hearts.

I was watching The Passion of the Christ movie the other day and I bounced right out of my pit I'd been in. It brought things back to perspective. God knows pain, regection, anticipation and He loved us so much that He laid down his life for us. It just helped me a lot. I know some are very sensitive about the movie but watching it again reminded me of how God knows our pain. It was all laid on Chist that graceious day He died to save us.

Blessings to you. All the wait and pain will be worth it. The wait wont be forever.

Melissa

[Wilna]

Hi all,

I do not know how unbelievers go through the waiting game without the perspective of Christ in their lives. So we are very blessed despite of our agony about waiting for our babies!

Love, Wilna

[mj77]

I agree Wilna, I don't know what I would do without my faith in knowing Christ was with me and that He is bigger than any situation and would carry us through it all.

[All Boys]

I have to agree also.... There is no way that I could go through this with out the Lord. And with out the guidance of the Holy Ghost....
He is the one that leads me each and every day through my good and bad times....
And today is a bad day....

Thank You for your prayers and you will continue to be in mine.

Gina

[Momof2andcats]

I just wanted to echo Wilna. I have been through the waiting game as an unbeliever relying on my own strength instead of the Lord. Let me tell you-it was nothing but anxiety and misery.

Since fully coming to the Lord and going through the waiting stage again-what a difference! Of course I have the frustrating days, but I am much more able to see the bigger picture now and realize that as long as we are living in Him and our lives reflect it-there isn't too much else we can do.

I hear you ladies on how hard the wait is! I am very grateful for message boards like this as well! God bless you all! Best wishes-Sarah(mom of 2)

[gormancrew]

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! For voicing exactly what I feel. We have been approved to adopt since July. I spend hours each day on web sites looking at pictures, having homestudies sent in, and WAITING!! We are getting ready to go on vacation at the end of the week, and I don't even want to go in case someone calls saying "we have your child!! " I feel so ridiculous sometimes, and alone, but this site is such a blessing and comfort. I have my whole church praying for me on this, and I will add all of you to our prayer list also. I know our child is out there waiting for us just as anxiously as we await his arrival. My three girls are just as impatient, they want a baby brother (though I keep telling them it may be a sister). The Lord is our strength ladies, and He knows our hearts desires. Thanks for being here to let me know I am not alone.

[All Boys]

gormancrew, I am so glad that you have to come know the Lord... I Know, I can not imagine going through this wait with out the Lord on my side, and without the guidance of the Holy Ghost. I know that I could not make it through this with out him...
And along with everyone else I have Good and Bad days.... But for the last couple of days I have been having bad days. And longing to hold my baby girl...
Thanks again for all of your prayers...
Gina

[All Boys]

Please Pray for the Lord guidance in a situtation that I have inquired about...
It is a special needs..... And I only want Gods will.. I don't want them, if God does want this, cause I know we will not be able to handle them with out him in it.
I don't really know much about them, and I don't want to post much about them til I know more.
Please just pray......
Thank You and God Bless You,
Gina

[All Boys]

Just wanted to let you all that are praying for us... To please keep it up... I heard yesterday that the girls cw contacted our cw and requested our HS....
I am so excited, cause this is the first time that our hs has been sent out. We found the girls ourself and sent in the inquirey about them. So I am glad that they are looking at us....

So please keep us in your prayers...

Hugs,
Gina