[Wilna]

What does the Bible say about surrogacy i.e a donor egg and the sperm of my husband?

[LouiseT]

How could the Bible say anything on this topic? The technology for surrogacy, IVF, etc. was only developed in the last 30 years or so.

[Wilna]

I know, but I take the Bible as my guide to living and am worried that surrogacy would be wrong in God's eyes.

[LouiseT]

I am Catholic, and I can tell you that the Catholic Church says ivf is immoral, so I would think their views on surrogacy would be the same. I don't happen to agree.
I think in a case where the Bible does not address a specific issue, you need to determine if your actions through surrogacy are violating any other beliefs you hold true.
Sorry there is no clear cut answer - good luck to you.

[Wilna]

Thanks.

[Anigel]

In the Old Testament God tells Abraham that his descendants will be more than the stars in the sky. But as we know Sara had gone though menopause. At Gods bidding Abraham took a concubine. Which we could describe and discuss for hours, but my point is that the concubine provided Abraham and Sara a child, which is much the same as you are wanting to do now.

I would not having gone to parochial schools makes me an expert, so should you still feel doubt you should not hesitate to ask your priest or minister.

Ani~

[Verncait]

I don't believe God told Abraham to take a wife. Sarah grew impaitent and told Abraham to take her maidservant to produce a child. This child was not the child that God had promised Abraham who would become the father of many nations. And, Sarah never raised that child as her own, so very respectfully, I don't believe this is a good analogy of surrogacy.

My humble view on surrogacy is that if the technology is made available and you aren't "tampering" with genes or creating a clone, then it is ok. There are many technologies made available to us today, such as heart and kidney transplants to name a few. God was the one who gave man the ability and knowledge to come up with these medical miracles. Can we, as humans, honestly say that this is NOT God's will? Once again, this is just my humble view and if you aren't comfortable with it, then you shouldn't do it. There are other ways to become parents. God will lead you in the right direction.
Bless you in whatever decision you and your husband make.
Linda

[Wilna]

Thank you, Anigel and Verncait for your responses. We are a white re-born Christian couple living in South Africa, where it is almost impossible to adopt a white baby. Our names are with all the organizations and agencies available. I feel that it might not be in the child's interest to adopt a black baby into an "all white" family. Surrogacy would be our only option to have a baby of our own race.

[Verncait]

Wilna,
What is your "gutt instinct" about surrogacy? Spiritually speaking, if you and your husband are ok with it, then press forward. If not, then wait for one of the agencies to contact you (which could be years). As far as a black child raised in an all white family, it's done all the time. But, I'm not saying that it is "right" for your family. Some families do exceptionally well others not as well. But, it all comes down to the heart. It's kind of the same as when a couple decide to adopt a special needs child. It has to be something that you feel deep down in your heart that you can do. Not everyone can, or should, do every situation. You know what is right for you and your family. Never feel guily or pressured into doing something that isn't right.
Conversely speaking, my husband and I are an inter-racial couple raising two bi-racial daughters. So, we are a blended family and this is "right" for us.
Linda

[GretschDrummer]

Where is prayer in all of this? Please pray about this. Your "gut" feeling does not override God.

[Wilna]

Hi,

We've been praying about this for the past 12 months, and will continue to do so.

Michael (Wilna's husband)

[Wilna]

Hi Linda (Verncait),

Thank you for your kind and wise reply. I do not feel comfortable with surrogacy, that is why I asked the question. We belief that The Lord will in His own time and in His own way bring our child to us. Some days I just get a little weak and impatient and wonder whether I should not be more actively involved such as considering surrogacy. I wonder where man's responsibility ends and when to rest solely on God's sovereingty.

[taggrr2]

Just wanted to respond quickly.

First, I think we should put a lot more stake in our "inner voice" than we sometimes do. I believe, combined with prayer, it is a powerful instrument of God.

Second, although the mind and knowledge may have come from God, not all technology is used to good purposes, so I have to humbly disagree with Verncait. Not everything possible is right.

Third, I'd just like to expand on the Catholic Church's view. In a VERY small nutshell, they come from a standpoint that it is not a right to be a parent, but a privilege and gift from God. In addition, it is felt that IVF really can interfere with God's creative work in bringing life into this world. I'm going on memory here, from the Catechism, so this is the best I can do right now.

Personally, I briefly considered IVF until I read the Church's teaching. I went from great sadness to, actually, great relief. I just felt extremely spared from the emotion and expense, for chances of success that are not that great, and felt the teaching was very wise. The adoption road was difficult enough and more stress/possible disappointment prior to this would have been even more difficult, I think. Just my own experience in working through this.

I read an interesting novel called The Red Tent by a Jewish scholar. It is about Dinah, one of the wives of Jacob, I believe, who is mentioned very briefly in the Bible. In the novel there is at least one scene when a woman gives birth pretty much on the lap of another, infertile woman who is also his wife. (Sorry if graphic!) In that way, she signified that the other woman is to care for that baby as hers. Could have happened I suppose but it doesn't help with any biblical guidance on the matter.

Lastly, what about an international adoption, outside of South Africa? Must you, legally, adopt domestically? Sorry if I missed a prior answer to this.

[Verncait]

I fully agree that prayer is an important aspect in our everyday lives. As Taggrr2 stated, when we pray for an answer, then we must also listen to the inner voice that answers (our gut intuition). I believe that Wilna and Michael already knew that surrogacy was not for them. They just needed confirmation of their views and to be re-directed back to their own answers.

I also agree that not all things that are technologically possible should be utilized, i.e., the atom bomb or cloning. However, artificial insemination has been going on for a very long time. I'm not Catholic, I'm a born-again Christian and my views don't always match the views of the Catholic church. Nothing personal...just different views...

Wilna,
Thanks for saying my words were wise, but in truth, I simply led you back to your own best resources...yourselves. Our children come to us when He is ready...not when we think we are ready. There are certain lessons we must learn along the way and our hearts must be prepared to accept the child God has in mind for us. Had my husband and I not gone through two failed placements prior to our last daughter coming to our home, I don't think I would have initially said yes to her situation. She was a 29 week preemie, and I know I would have passed her by. But, God in all His wisdom knew what He must do in order for me to say yes to her. I thank Him for the pain that I suffered because of the vast amount of joy that I now have.

I have sent up a prayer for you and Michael that you will soon be blessed with the child that is meant for you. God bless you both always! Linda

[Wilna]

Thank you Linda and taggrr2 for your responses. It helps us to hear other Christians views on these difficult matters. It is not easy for South Africans to adopt Internationally and it is also very expensive, but we are looking into that. Thank you for your prayers.