[NANANAE]

Any Christian Parents out there who have or planning to adopt transracially? We are CC and have a AA foster child we are adopting. We are desperately looking to meet other open minded Christian parents, in hope of having a diverse group of friends for our child.

We are north of Atlanta, Ga.

[moroka]

I wish I were closer. I'm in California. I am a CC parent with AA children. I chose a magnet school for my child were she would be around a very diverse (culturally, financially, ethnically) group of peers. It really is pretty easy here, but I am having trouble finding AA friends for myself. Still get the looks from AA women like "how dare you take our children" or "you have no right to one of our men" as if I stole a "good" black man from their culture. I am trying hard to make friends with my daughter's friends parents! Good luck!

[hopeangel]

In response to "I'm trying hard to be friends with my daughter's friends parents."

As an AA woman, I admit I too have stared before when I saw a CC woman with AA children. I am more conscious now of my stares and try to make conversation with the CC woman. Sometimes, it seems as though the CC does not want any communication. I think you should not have to try so hard to make AA friends. I think taking the initiative for your child's sake is wonderful, but trying too hard my appear fake and will be unwanted. I think for a long time AA's resented biracial relationships b/c of the threats it posed to AA men(lynchings), however, I am seeing a more positive attitude even from the AA culture toward interracial relationships. Now its not even uncommon to see a AA woman with an CC man! Hang in there things will happen as they should.

I live 45 minutes west of ATL. We could keep in contact if you want to.

[moroka]

Hopeangel,

I do have some AA friends, just not close (yet). Maybe I do try too hard! I will try to pay better attention to my conversations from now on.

I hope I didn't offend anyone with the "looks" comments. Many AA women do say hi and talk to me. It's the ones that don't that make me feel insecure. I recently had many, many CC people "look" at me and one even glared, while visiting Louisiana. I was so uncomfortable, I guess that's how many AA people must have felt when walking into an all CC establishment not too many years ago. I was with nearly twenty family members at the time and still felt the stares. It was quite an eye opener.

I have a friend, married to a black man, both from Arkansas, she has supplied me with most of the information I have about AA women and how they feel about interracial couples. I never thought or heard about lynchings. It really makes sense! Things aren't really as acceptable as I thought. I am very much in need of more education on interracial issues!

Thank you for your open, honest comments!

[hopeangel]

Unfortunately, as an AA woman I am faced with the past. However, I do not believe in using the past as an excuse to avoid progression or acceptance. Especially, here in the south, there are still a lot of conceptions about different races. I am one that believes the south is not nearly as bad as it was in my parents generation, but we still have some work to do. AAs and CCs.

[Mom2J]

This looks like a "Georgia" group. We are a cc couple with a cc biodaughter, Latino ason, and a Biracial (cc/aa) son that we have sole permanent custody.

Yes, we do get the stares sometimes and the comments about how "someone" probably doesn't know who the fathers of my children are... She must be one of "those" mothers that sleeps around... or my fave, when someone will ask whose children those are and my husband and I both say mine. LOL. You should see the faces of total bewilderment. You can almost see their brains trying to figure out, "How did that work?".

One of the things that really got me this year was, when our son was in an after-school tutoring program. All of his regular teachers knew my husband and I are cc, but I guess the tutoring teachers didn't. The parents were all to line up outside of the glass doors and the children would come out, when the car drove up. Well, they didn't allow my son to leave, because they didn't think "I" could be his mom. I had to walk up to the glass door and saw the teacher saying, are you sure that's your Mommy? My son was questioned quite extensively on who I was. My son was pulling away from them saying that's MY Mommy and was very upset. I did however have to go back and "educate" them about not questioning any of the other children or their parents, yet grilling my child. I was NOT amused.

Now, I do thank my parents and my husband's parents for raising us in very progressive families in progressive states. We both went to schools that were racially and culturally diverse as do our children now. We associate ourselves with all kinds of people from different religions, races, and cultures.

We are located about an hour and a half, south of Atlanta.

K.

[Michelle 053002]

A lot of families do foster car in our area (some for the wrong reasons). So we get "are you keeping her or is she a foster kid?" Now that summer's here again we'll be ask if she's a free air kid too. It's funny if my dh isn't along no one even questions, I have dark skin but dh is fair so people know when he's along that she isn't a bio child. we haven't really gotten any negative comments or looks from the AA community.

[rastachris]

I'm in California, too. We are a multi-racial family with two black babies. Our son, 18 months, was adopted from Haiti. Our daughter (pictured at left) is 4 months old and was adopted domestically. I am white and my husband is a light-skinned bi-racial man.

We are Catholic and very fortunate to have made friends with other families in the area who have adopted transracially (mostly from Haiti). I'd love to be a cross-country friend, and I think it would be neat for our kids to have "pen pals" when they're older who have a rainbow family in common. It also would be interesting to see the differences between coasts, if any, in attitudes toward transracial adoption. We currently live in San Diego but are considering a move to another state in the next year or so.

Blessings,

Tina, mama to Aidan and Makena, wife to Chris

[HeavensGifts]

We are a Christian Caucasian couple that has adopted transracially when we added our Black American son 19 months ago. I am also the sibling of two Biracial adopted brothers so have seen for years the benifits of having transracial siblings. Before adopting second and third children we became very close frineds with an Interracial couple who was also seeking adoption and they have been such a blessing to our lives. They actually adopted two children now also!! We just really feel the importants as Christians to see people as one race, the human race. I know I have read it somewhere be it the Bible or some preacher doing a teaching that when Jesus returns there will be one race (I believe the scripture is in Revelations - not 100% right now) We believe that we are helping to ruin racisiam by creating totally acceptence in our home - the more Transracial families that are created the less rasiciam can exsist maybe!!!

Heavens Gifts

[NANANAE]

Wow, how nice to check back and see all the posts! Thanks to all of you for your responses. It appears we all share the same heart for children and the same desire to help in our own way to eradicate our communities of racism. Because of the racial history in our country it will be a slow change, as it has been, but thanks to people like each of you, with God's help, we can hope for our children, that as they grow, they will experience less than we have. I think I am not a very aware person, like when I am out in public, etc. so I have not really noticed alot of stares or comments yet but we are still new at this. I have experienced some racial comments in our families, however subtle. I knew it was pure ignorance on their part and enlightened them in a kind way. They have, of course, all fallen in love with our new child and I think this is such a positive step towards educating people about race. As humans we all have the tendancy to segregate, to seek out those like us (be it race, religion, hobbies, etc.) somehow it helps validate us. So in doing so, we don't know about others and see them as "different". Spend some time with one of those "different" persons, and funny you see how much we have in common.
I would welcome any PM emails and would love to stay in touch with any family. We are just beginning this journey and not sure how far it will lead us. Our heart breaks at all the misplaced children, in group homes, shelters, etc. who just needs a family, a bit of love and security to grow up and be a healthy person.
So who knows how many we will end up with!
Much Love and Luck to you all.