[prolife4life]

Please keep our family in prayer and our daughter's birth mom (and her family too).

Next week our daughter's birth mom (who is 14) will be required to appear and testify in court to confirm her decision to place her baby for adoption by us. Usually, the paper she signed 72 hours after the birth would be enough and if not contested, her right's would be terminated without her having to go to court. As it is, given her age and the circumstances surrounding the conception, she is going to need to testify in court that she wasn't forced to relinquish the baby and she will need to testify to the rape (even though she has already completed a sworn affidavit). This, of course, is to protect everyone involved. I imagine it would be terribly difficult for her to go to a courtroom to testify about the private, personal, painful aspects of the conception and declare in front of strangers her desire to place the baby (even though that desire was made evident by the signing of the documents that are all that is required of most other birth-moms). Plus, just going to court to testify may be intimidating and scary. Plus, she needs to take off from school...as if she hasn't ahd enough disruption.

We are nervous because our daughter is 5 months old today (yippy!) and we ADORE her! We jsut want this to all go smoothly with no surprises, no glitches, and no "mind-changes". It is so difficult knowing that nothing is final and we can still lose her! TORTURE! It is like we are glorified babysitters (legally speaking) with all the responsibilities of the parents, but no rights...yet. UGH!

We also will need to have a hearing to terminate paternal rights. We apply for a date when she is 6 months old then we publish this notice in 2 papers and run it for 3 wks to notify and alert b-dad so he can show up to claim "his" child. Under the circumstances, this is not likely. I think it is RIDICULOUS to even have to do this step since there is an affidavit swearing to the rape and she will be testifying in court to the rape...why advertise for a rapist to come forward to claim the baby? Why have him do this AFTER the maternal rights are terminated? What moron would come forward to claim a baby conceived of rape and risk prosecution? And why open it up to have us loose the baby due to this not being final and the b-mom is left with no rights because her's were terminated...she can't fight him if she seeks custody. Then a rapist, in theory, could gain custody of the child he fathered through this act of violence and violation! Isn't that absurd? So, we have a little concern still about the b-father. Plus, what if she hasn't been truthful and there IS a boyfriend out there...and HIS parents? Likely, they would already know all about the birth of the baby and the adoption decision, but what if they just decide they want the baby?

AHHH! Am I just being unnecessarily paranoid? I have all the "what if's" running through my brain. I KNOW God is in control. His hand has been so obviously on this whole birth and adoption form day one! He rescued our daughter from being aborted TWICE in the 2nd trimester! HE brought us all together in an amazing way and has done wonderful things to protect this young lady. 2 weeks following placement, she got saved and accepted Jesus! AMEN!!!! However, I must admit, this is by far the MOST terrifying thing I have EVER been involved in!!!! She is MY BABY in my heart! I LOVE HER! We all love her sooooo much. I can't imagine losing her. I just keep praying and reminding myself to trust the Lord always in all things. He has NEVER let me down...even when it didn't go the way I thought I wanted it to.

Well, thanks for the prayers for all of us. I'll keep you posted. I just can't wait till this is all final! CELEBRATION!!!!!!!

[Cricket8351]

Of course I will pray for you and all who is involved in your situation.

I imagine I would feel the same fears and anxiety you are experiencing if I were in your situation. I am sure this has been very difficult for you and your family ..not to mention this young girl and her family. My heart goes out to each of you.

You're so right when you said God is in control. He will see you through this. Pray for peace and give all of your worries and fears over to Him.

Some helpful verses I found for you:

Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10 NRSV

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds
in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 NIV


Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?"
Matthew 6:27 (NRSV)

It will all work out for His glory!

T

[MomofKaden]

Oh my - what a story! That poor girl and all she's been through...I guess we should all be thankful that after this hearing she can finally move on with her life and get back to being a 14 year old little girl again...of course she won't ever forget what she has been through in the past 1 1/2 years, but at least she can begin to move on toward a new chapter of her life.

I understand your fears, but I am sure they are totally unnecessary! You said yourself that God doesn't let you down, so there is no room for fear!!!! Fear does not come from God, so don't let it get to you. God has a perfect plan for your little girl and obviously you have played a huge part in that. Praise the Lord for He has dealt bountifully with you! (that is my version of one of my favorite verses)

I trust all will go well and you can rest in His goodness with all this behind you soon!

[prolife4life]

Thanks so much! I truly feel blessed. The Lord gave me a love of babies when i was still very young and later, as I became a woman, He gave me a love for women facing "unplanned" pregnancies. Once I realized what abortion was, I HAD to know more and have spent years getting educated on fetal development, the "procedure", risks, etc. It all culminated 10 1/2 months ago when God gave me the opportunity to speak with this young lady (after attempt #1, but just days before her rescheduled abortion). His giving me the drive to learn more and get involved led me to be able to address her questions and concerns from facts...not just emotionalism or opinion. We talked for 2 hours, her asking questions and me asking questions. When our talk was over, I didn't know what she would decide to do. On my other daughter's 1 month "birthday" we learned that she did not abort!!! Shortly after, we learned that she wanted to place the baby with us! We felt so honored!

I look at my daughter sometimes and remember just how close she came to dying. Her birthmom was on the table, in the stirrups! It would have been awful for her...painful too, as she was 20 wks the 1st time and that requires a live dismemberment in the womb via D & E. She would have ended up in a "storage container" on a shelf, a lab, or the dumpster...but instead, she is in my arms! Alive!!! Thriving, growing, smiling! Isn't our Lord AMAZING!!!!

Thank you so much for your prayers and support!

[Brat]

It would have been awful for her...painful too, as she was 20 wks the 1st time and that requires a live dismemberment in the womb via D & E. She would have ended up in a "storage container" on a shelf, a lab, or the dumpster...but instead, she is in my arms! Alive!!! Thriving, growing, smiling! Isn't our Lord AMAZING!!!!

Yes, He is!

[mj77]

The same gracious Lord that has had His hand over your daughter though all she has been through STILL has His hand over her--and you! Tnewton8351 always seems to write such wonderful posts. Great scriptures to remember.

Melissa

[M.Dumas]

~You and your family, birthmom and her family too, will be in my prayers.~


~Marcia~

[amom4life]

Originally posted by prolife4life

I look at my daughter sometimes and remember just how close she came to dying. Her birthmom was on the table, in the stirrups! It would have been awful for her...painful too, as she was 20 wks the 1st time and that requires a live dismemberment in the womb via D & E. She would have ended up in a "storage container" on a shelf, a lab, or the dumpster...but instead, she is in my arms! Alive!!! Thriving, growing, smiling! Isn't our Lord AMAZING!!!!

PRAISE THE LORD and AMEN!!!!!

I will be praying for you all!
God Bless,
Judy

[Cricket8351]

Thank you for the compliment Melissa.

I am so glad that you found the verses helpful. I find great comfort in the Word and sometimes for me anyway when I am in the midst of a difficult situation it helps me to go to God's word and meditate on His promises to us.

Just a quick story about the importance of sharing in Christian fellowship. I apologize this is not adoption related but relative to sharing just the same.

I lost my anniversary ring about a week or so ago which is something I have treasured for years. I had to work really hard on myself not to let it upset me too much. I worried and searched every place high and low for my ring and just knew it had slipped off and was gone forever.

I was telling one of my friends about it yesterday and she suggested that I pray about it. I told her that I had not done so because I felt uncomfortable praying for unnecessary material things. I didnt think it would be right to ask God to give me my ring back.

She said the ring has sentimental value and is a desire of your heart so don't feel bad about asking God to help you find it. I took her advice and prayed that if it was God's will for me to have that ring back that He would help me find it. That was yesterday morning...or maybe around noon time.

Well last night I was taking my jewelry off and putting it in my jewelry box as I always do. All of the sudden I knew that my ring was in a box. I didnt remember that it was in a box....I swear it was the Lord speaking to my heart. My ring was in a box though I did not know exactly what that meant.

I started looking in whatever boxes I could see. Lo and behold there was my ring! In a box just as the Lord told me it would be! I had gotten a new ring for Christmas and for some reason I had put my anniversary ring in the box I had received the gift in. I had set that little box aside and am surprised I had not thrown it away.

Praise the Lord! I was so happy and joyful! God is so good to me and I hope I never forget or doubt that!

I shared this story here because I know in my heart if my friend Shelly had not told me to talk to the Lord about my ring I most likely would have never found it. I more than likely would have thrown that little box away. I had set a stack of little boxes left over from Christmas presents and was planning to decide which ones I was going to keep and reuse. That little box would probably have gone in the trash along with the anniversary ring from my DH. Gone forever.

I am once again reminded how important it is to share with one another and how much we learn from one another. I thank God for my friend Shelly and also the information I have learned from you here on this board. This has truly been a blessing for me.

Thanks,
T

[prolife4life]

tnewton8351

GREAT story and great scriptures. I tell you in all honesty that sisnce I found out about this young lady and her pregnancy...especially that she was scheduled to abort, I have prayed harder and more often than I can remember! When I was praying for God to spare the life of this baby, it went from a "Your will be done, Lord" style to a paniced, desperate, crying petition of a prayer. I wasn't praying from my head or even my heard...it was from my soul...my very being. It was intense. I have prayed so much since the adoption I wonder if God wants to say to me, "YES! I get it! I know what you are asking!"

OK, I have a story. A few months ago when our daughter had been with us about 2 months or so, I got an email from her b-mom saying she was thinking of taking her back and placing her with a couple she had just met who are foster parents. They offered to foster the baby and she was hoping this would allow her to see the baby in person more often (as we live in different states, but we are "neighbors" and only a few hours drive). This was DEVESTATING! I cried, I prayed, I asked others to pray. I BEGGED God. Then a very close Christian friend of mine who I work with doing Pro-life stuff invited me to a church that does personal prophesies. She and her daughter had done it and they were so incredibly accurate (she read it to me) and I knew the situations they were going through, the questions,a nd the struggles that were occuring at the time. I was still nervous as I wanted to be deserning and not read into a phrophesy what I wanted it to say. So, after praying about it and getting more info, I went with her. We were taken with several other people into a room for privacy. The prophesy was done by 3 peopel who were trained. They needed to "line-up" with each other and scripture and we were not to give them ANY information about why we were there and what questions we had for the Lord. I was skeptical. VERY!!! So, I decided to let others go and try to make what the people were telling them fit my situation, just to see if the were generic (like psychics). As hard as I tried, I couldn't get even one to apply to me. They weren't even close. So, then it was my turn and I had been praying and praying to God to answer me and to not be vague..."Would we get to keep our baby?????" So, they began by saying,

"For even which I've given will not be taken back. And even that which is deposited with you at this very hour, I will not release from Myself to anybody else except to you. For if it is accepted by the one I sent it to, know assuradly, Oh Daughter, it's given as a gift. It's a free gift of grace. It's not something you earned. It's not something you cried out for saying, "look Lord what I've done," but it is something that I desire for you to have" declares the Lord.

The next person said, I would experience "a new area of responsibility and a new area of increase within My Kingdom. I desire for you to have increase." ("increase" means "children" inthe dictionary).

The final person said, "Know that even the very heart's desire shall be yours. You'll see those miracles that you desire. Trust Me. Open your life and open your heart." (I took that to mean I could freely love this child without fear that I would lose her and experience that kind of agony. I had been afraid, due to comments by bmom of taking her back, to open up completely...a sorta defense mechanism.)

That experience was so dead-on. We didn't get any more scary emails after that. It helped a LOT. Of course, I am human and I do get worried or scared sometimes when I look at her and I do the "what if" thing. It is especially bad when something major is coming up, like holidays or hearings. I keep trusting in God and His promise...but, alas, I fall on my face and doubt too. WHY DO WE DOUBT?!? I feel like Peter!

Thanks all, and I hope you don't think I'm a nut job for having gone to that church. I rarely discuss it, but I thought you all might appreciate it.

Take care and happy weekend!

[Cricket8351]

Prolife,
I have never had any experience with those who prophesy. For me, it would be hard to discern the psychics and false prophets from the real thing so I avoid them all. But then again who am I to question the power of the Lord?

Though it is quite cliche to say it. I truly believe He works in mysterious ways!

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

I am so glad it was such a blessing for you.

Praise God!

T