[KENNA'SMOM]

I don't post here often but I read everyday. I have posted on the Guatemala and Russian boards but I need some spiritual advice.

DH and I started the adoption process in Guat. in Sept 2002. We moved from NC to Fl in April of 2003 but were paper ready for Guat in March of 2003. Anyone who follows the Guat adoptions knows what a mess there has been down there. Anyway, on the advice of our agency we finally moved to Russia this past Sept. (after several other country moves that didn't pan out) I have never stopped following up with the Guat boards and have found that referrals are coming again and babies are finally coming home!!

I talked with my agency about moving back to Guat and they adviced us of the still risky nature but yes, they felt they could get us a referral fairly quickly. Then a few days later I was told it might be a month or more for a referral.

Meanwhile, I am seeing all kinds of messages for people who have agencies that are looking for paper ready families because they have too many referrals. I have prayed for months that God's will be done, not mine, no matter what, I want this to be with his divine guidance not from my stubborn nature!

But I can't seem to hear Him, I am not sure what we are suppose to do. We have gone from Guat to Costa Rica, back to Guat to Russia and now maybe Guat. My agency still does not have a referral.

Today, I contact a reputable agency that came referenced to me, all I wanted was to get an idea of how long a paper ready couple would have to wait for a referral, I explained all of the above. She said she would call her contact in Gaut and get back to me.

Within 30 minutes she called me with a referral!!!!!! She emailed me his picture with a note that the medicals would follow. I was so excited I could hardly breath but I still want His will to be the guiding force. So I bowed my head and I asked God to please send me a sign, I know I have been asking but I remove myself and I will be quite so I can hear You, please send me a sign I can't miss.

Well, I opened my eyes and I have the email from her on his medicals...This is a Guatemalan baby...and his middle name is my husbands first name!!!

IS THIS MY SIGN???!!!! Have we had all these delays and problems because he wasn't born AND we were with the wrong agency???

I just don't know what to do. I told my agency I have this referral and what did our chances look like with them and they called me back to say maybe, if all the stars and moons align right we will have a referral by the end of this week.

But now I can't help but wonder, Was that my sign from God in answer to my prayers!?

I'm sorry this is so long, I quess I just need strong prayers for my family right now. Prayers that we will hear Gods word and not our own desires!!

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this and for the prayers.

Kim

[HappyMomAnna]

When you read the name--was your first thought that it was a positive sign?

----When you are in prayer the Holy Spirit moves---and when we ask for a sign those willing to see one should.

Sometimes the signs we get are small--but the feeling we have is big.

When we were waiting for matches we ended up with three on the same day! I prayed to God for a sign and believe he gave us one in the birthdates---DH is Jan 6 and mine exactly twe weeks later on Jan 20 well one of the babies in the three sibling groups was exactly between on Jan 13 (yes it is today)! I just knew this was the right sibling group to go for---Today we are having a really big 2-year old birthday party!

When we ask God answers.....when we ask for a sign we have to be willing to see it---I think the name means a lot.

[KENNA'SMOM]

Thank you for the reply and YES...When I opened the email that came while my eyes were still closed in prayer, the first thing that jumped at me as the name and "thats my sign!!!"

But now my current agency says maybe they can get one for us and I don't know...

I guess I will continue to "be quite" and sleep on it tonight.

Kim

[HappyMomAnna]

I hear it so often that we wait and wait and start to wonder if it really will happen---and then we have two--three or four to choose from and have to actually decide. Sometimes I think God has a big sense of humor---or that he has a reason for us to go through what we do. So watch your agancy give you a referal with your name or your dads---or some other that means something.

Great to have something else to think about -- isn't it? If nothing else perhaps God is letting you know your child is out there--he will give you your baby NOW worry about something besides WHEN you will be matched--and start thinking about which match it will be! At least this is a change of pace.......

I'll stick my own words in for you this week during my prayers!

[amom4life]

Hi Kenna'sMom,
From what you have shared with us if it were me I would believe that this child is God's will for my family. He has led you to this child and I really think you should go for it!

I will pray for His will for you.
Judy

[mj77]

What you have shared about not knowing for sure if it is the Lord's will is very common. He doesn't always shout, sometimes He speaks very softly and we have to get real close to hear Him. He is providing you with an open door to walk through. I would just continue thanking Him for this.

Melissa

[taggrr2]

Kenna's mom,

My best advice is to notice whether or not you feel peaceful about this situation. I have noticed that when something is right, a great deal of peace washes over me that let's me know this is the way it's suppose to be.

Much luck and how exciting!

[Cricket8351]

I will definitely pray for you Kenna'smom.

I don't want to sound negative in any way but i had to throw in my thoughts.

I personally have be really careful with trusting what I perceive as signs from God. I have been mistaken so many times. I also have made the mistake of trusting how I feel and determining or resolving that it must be God's will. As though my feelings and emotions are a gauge for God's will. In my case, it does not work.

In my own personal opinion, I believe it is a serious mistake to listen for God’s voice through subjective feelings and coincidences. I no way want to imply that I am an expert and I certainly don't want to offend anyone.

I just wanted to share that the only way for me to know God's will is to study His Word and pray. He will answer but we must be patient.

I don't know if this child is yours but God knows. He wants what is best for this child as well as what is best for you and your family. Trust Him and He will see you through.

T

[jewell2blue]

Dear Kenna's Mom,

I'm dying to know if you decided the name was God's guidance for you.....even though we can never know for sure for someone else I really felt it was your sign when I just read this whole thing

What has happened? I'll pray for you right now...the thing God used to zero me in on my eventual adopted son in an African orphanage was the resemblance I saw to one of my very white natural born sons when he was a baby...He certainly does work in mysterious ways!

Blessings,

Julie

[KENNA'SMOM]

I guess it was not my sign. We had a very hard and complicated decision to make and without going into all the details we let him go. We prayed very hard about the decision but the agency needed or wanted an answer from us before we could get all the facts. We let him go and I thought "if that was my sign God will lead us back to him." That afternoon he brought us another referral.

I still wonder sometimes about the whole thing, the timing and everything was so perfect that you just have to feel it was right. But I am at peace right now, so I feel we must have made the right decision. I pray everyday for guidance and hope that we have made the right move but for now it feels right.

This whole process is so hard and frustrating at times and trying to find God's will through this mountain of paperwork and Gov't requirements, not to mention my own stubborn wants, is a tad difficult to say the least! So, we wake each day, pray for guidance and the ability to hear His wisdom when it comes our way, and then step out on faith.

Meanwhile, we have a referral of a healthy baby boy that is 1 1/2 months old from Guatemala through our agency!!

Thanks for asking and for all the prayers that helped to guide us.

Kim
Mommy to McKenna and soon to Jacob

[jewell2blue]

for letting me know what happened...we always wonder "what was that all about?" in these kinds of situations..one day we'll know!

Blessings,
Julie