Family Forums
Parenting Forums
Pregnancy Forums
Adoption Forums
Fertility Forums






Members List Photos Events Local Adoption Support Search Arcade Reviews Membership Upgrade
Welcome to the Forums. Register
If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ. You may have to register before you can post or search: click here to proceed. To start viewing messages, select a forum below that you would like to view or click View All of Todays Posts.
Forum Categories
User Name
Password

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-24-2003, 08:55 PM
Adotionblessing Adotionblessing is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 12
Total Points: 444.00
Donate
Im losing the battle and my faith

Well yesterday I received the call and they proceeded to say that the baby was being given to another foster parent who has had him for 5 months. I had a relationship with him for 2 years. I dont understand, I am devastated I still have to tell my 10 year old but I will wait until after christmas no sense in wreaking his . I have cried for two days my eyes are so swollen and everyone says it's Gods will.This was a promised baby from God so if God does'nt lie and his word does not return void , where is he at !!!!! I think I am going to lose my mind , it makes no sense. Sorry I needed to vent.
Reply With Quote
http://www.adopthelp.com
Adoption Information
Jeffrey & Donna (NJ)
are hoping to adopt
Jeffrey & Donna hoping to adopt A Service of Adoption Profiles

  #2  
Old 12-24-2003, 10:07 PM
amom4life amom4life is offline
Banned
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,796
Total Points: 7,605.00
Donate
I'm so sorry! A lot of the decisions that the so called powers that be in foster care make don't make any sense to me.

Why was he with this other family in the first place if you had him for two years?? I really don't know what to say.

I will be praying for you...
Judy
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 01-06-2004, 09:12 AM
sassafras sassafras is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 426
Total Points: 39,289.15
Donate
can I ask?

Can I ask why you thought God promised you this baby? It all works in strange ways. We had our heart set on our kids and someone else was chosen. They gave our kids back 6 weeks later, we staffed and got them. Keep the faith!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 01-06-2004, 09:35 AM
All Boys's Avatar
All Boys All Boys is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 952
Total Points: 19,920.00
Donate
Keep the Faith

Dear AdoptionBlessing,

I am so sorry that you are feeling so dissappointed in God right now. I don't know what kind of faith you are, but I can tell you that satan fights the christians each and everyday. Weather we want to believe it or not. And that is just what he wants you to do is to loose your faith in God.
If he is a promised child then it will happen in God's time. You have be like Abraham and hold on to his word. If he said it!! He will do it!! You can take that to the bank, because God don't ever lie.
Read my post on here in titled Faith and take it to heart and then pray it......

I will be praying for you.......
__________________
Bio-Mom to :



FosterMom to : Since 8-14-05
Beginning TPR 6-19-06
TPR done 12/14/2007
Adoption finalized 1/14/2008 !!!


Soon to be mom to 5 boys!!!!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 01-06-2004, 07:39 PM
thesearcher thesearcher is offline
Mollie
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 14
Total Points: 407.44
Donate
God promised Hana a son and gave him to her. In response to God's favor on her, she promised him back to God. She gave him to Eli the Priest when she wheened him. And Eli raised her son her only son. Eli was not a good Priest and his own sons were very bad because of Eli's not wanting to do what was right. Samuel however turned out to be one of the Godliest men to date that I can recall reading about.
Gods promise doesn't always mean that it will be our way or in our time or even timing.
I placed a child 18years ago. I love her with all my heart. I hope one day to see her. She was " un " mine but in the end I had to let go and let God's work go on even if that meat I seemed to be on the loseing end of the plan. It hurts. It sucks. For me in the end I just had to pray ok if this is your will that I should have whats mine be given to another than in the end you will make it whole unto you.
A Birth Mom

Last edited by thesearcher : 01-06-2004 at 07:41 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 01-07-2004, 11:24 PM
Cricket8351's Avatar
Cricket8351 Cricket8351 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 351
Total Points: 2,543.00
Donate
I just read your post. Are you okay? Please give us an update. I can only imagine what you have been through and all I can say is that I will pray for you.

T
__________________
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4)
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 01-08-2004, 08:27 AM
hope44 hope44 is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 27
Total Points: 281.00
Donate
God's ways are not always our ways.

I read your post and my heart goes out to you. While my circumstances are different from yours, there is a God who loves us both.
God is faithful and never forsakes us even when we feel like forsaking Him. I have been to the point where I thought I would scream if one more person quotes Rom 8:28 to me. My intent is not to pound you with scripture, but to remind you to feast on the comfort that God does offer His hurting children.
Is 55:8-9 reminds us that his ways are not our ways. While many times our circumstances do not seem to be for our good, God is accomplishing a higher plan. Sometimes he allows us to see the good in it later, and sometimes we just have to trust Him.
Manytimes I have my way all planned out, and I bring it to God for approval. How patient God is to remind me that this is not the way it works. Prov. 16:9 says, "A man's heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps." Allow God to have His way. Do not let your heart be filled with bitterness toward a God who loved you enough to GIVE UP His only Son to die for you.
Here is a quote from a book I have read recently. The book has helped me better understand my God and His love for me - even through the darkest of situations.
"In order to trust God in adversity we must believe that God is completely sovereign, perfect in love, and infinite in wisdom." - Jerry Bridges (Trusting God Even When Life Hurts)
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 01-10-2004, 06:32 AM
Adotionblessing Adotionblessing is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 12
Total Points: 444.00
Donate
HI Everyone ,
Just an update , nothing has changed . The MCI who is head of adoptions in michigan has refused a face to face meeting and said that it was the other adoption agencys fault for not doing thier jobs. Great I lose because they were to lazy to do their work. I still have not told my 10 year old and he asks every day when the baby is coming. How do I explain it to him ??? Yes , I have been quoted over and over again Romans 8:28 , it's not easy to take. Sometimes I just want to tell them to stop quoting scripture to me. I know that Satan has his hand in this , it just does not make it eaiser, I am trying to make sense of it but I cant. Please pray for me and my family we are all devastaed. I am trying to deal with peoples comments like 'God is a jeaulous God "
'Where is your God at " , God changed his mind and many others. I dont know I hope there is light at the end of this darkness.
Reply With Quote

  #9  
Old 01-10-2004, 07:03 AM
parents2ubaby parents2ubaby is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 11
Total Points: 67.00
Donate
All I can say is I will be praying for you and your family. I cannot imagine loving a child for so long and having to let him go. I don't really have any words to say that will help. I am a Christian and I know that God has a plan and a purpose for everthing that happens in the life of one of His children. Sometimes though, they just don't seem fair. We are human and get angry and upset and yes mad. Things have happened to me and my family that down this path to adoption that I thought I would never get over. We have had our hearts broken into a million pieces twice. Still no baby a year later. I tell the Lord I trust Him no matter what and I do. That doesn't make the hurt any less real or go away any sooner. I will keep you in my prayers and pray for a miracle as well in your situation. God's richest blessings on you and your family.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 01-10-2004, 08:03 AM
cathy102's Avatar
cathy102 cathy102 is offline
Love my kids..=)
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 4,709
Total Points: 7,623.65
Donate
Sorry to hear your news...I will be praying that things will work out for you..Don't give up hope..

Cathy
__________________
Adoptive mom
Lexi.....4 years old
Sean....3 years old
15 months apart...
Both Domestic Adoption
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 01-10-2004, 08:32 AM
alicia hunter's Avatar
alicia hunter alicia hunter is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 277
Total Points: 2,328.62
Donate
I've had to sent a child back to a parent.(I'm a foster parent) I know the hury, but I look at it this way- it makes me a better parent. Over time the pain heals and I take nothing for granted with the child I have forever. It is God's way of putting me in someone elses shoes so I can be of more help to others. Any suffering we do and how we handle it is a wittness to others of God's grace and his ability to heal our hearts.
__________________
Alicia Hunter
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 01-10-2004, 11:27 AM
Cricket8351's Avatar
Cricket8351 Cricket8351 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 351
Total Points: 2,543.00
Donate
I am so sorry for the pain you are enduring and I know you said that the scriptures have not so far been comforting to you but I have to tell you that God never wastes suffering. He has proven that so many times in my life.

You said that God promised you this child and I have to ask, as someone else did, why you say that? I mean no offense in any way. I just know that sometimes I have had trouble discerning my own emotions and desires separate from God's will.

There have been times in my life when I have been certain that "something" is God's will for me then to learn later that it had really been my own desires. It has been hard for me in my Christian growth to learn how to hear God's voice and I still struggle with it. I so want to know God's will for my life and sometimes I have to remind myself to be still and be patient. He always reveals Himself but not when I want Him to. It is in His time and that is frustrating for me sometimes.

Please understand that I am not judging you or assuming this is the situation with you. I just wanted to share that as a possibility. It has certainly been true in my life.

I mean nothing in this post other than to offer you support because it is clear you are hurting. Most all of us on here have experienced similar hurts. Nothing I or any one else can say here can take the pain away or even lessen it. The only comfort available is through the Lord but you must ask and accept.

There have been many times when I have asked for comfort but not allowed the Lord to actually do it. For me, it has been about submission. Allowing Him to comfort me instead of thinking that the only way I can be comforted is by Him giving me what I want.

I will say a prayer for you and your family right now. I will pray that God will hold you close in His hand today and shower you with peace and love.

I truly wish you the very best.

Love In Christ,
T
__________________
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4)
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 01-10-2004, 12:40 PM
amom4life amom4life is offline
Banned
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,796
Total Points: 7,605.00
Donate
T. has give you some wonderful words of wisdom! We do need to be careful that we don't confuse our desires and hopeful thinking with God's will for us. Believe me I have done this too and I'm trying to be very careful about not doing this during our adoption journey.

We have gone through heartache through this process too with two failed adoptions in the one month. Sometimes I get a strong feeling that the mother of the first situation is going to change her mind about parenting and go through with her adoption plan after all and call us or our facilitator. But is this my hopeful thinking or is God giving me these feelings?? I don't know and I'm not going to trust these feelings because they are not concrete.

Then it gets worse...I've NEVER shared with my best friend about these feelings because I don't trust them and she shared with me just yesterday that she had a dream that the mother changed her mind about parenting and called us. I could say that this is a sign and it validates the feelings I've been having but I can't because that dream could be just her hopeful thinking for us.

I look at it this way...if God promises us anything then we can believe he will keep His promise. God always keeps His promises good or bad and He never lies.

I too don't know why you think God promised you this child?? I do know that if this child was to be God's providence for your family then the child would be with your family

God has promised us eternal life in His son, he has promised to bless us if we are obdient and obey His commandments, and that we will be chastised for disobedience. He has made us a lot of promises in His word but I personally could never assume that God has promised me a specific child or a child at all.

We are stepping out in faith to adopt because we do believe God has led us to do so and we believe that He does have a child for us and will bless us. We believe that God chose whatever child He chooses to bless us with from before the foundation of the world just as He says He plans all of our days. He knew who our children would be from the beginning before we were even created.

That is the promise that I rest in that God has preordained all of my days, that He loves me, and that His will will be done in my life regardless of what I may want and that His will is always the best for me. He sees the big picture and we only see right now. He knows the beginning , middle, and end to every situation in our lives. We only know minute by minute.

I'm sorry you are in so much pain and I will pray for you!
HUGS,
Judy
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 01-12-2004, 04:59 PM
Adotionblessing Adotionblessing is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 12
Total Points: 444.00
Donate
Hi Everyone ,
Well some have asked why I feel he was a promised child ? Well it came through a prophet who has never been false in his prophicies to me I truly believe in the gifts , for the word has always came forward. I was able to speak to him last night and the prophecy did come true as far as he was mine in paperwork and I was planning to go pick him up . That sometimes God closes a door because he see's what we don't. It is just hard , I want logical answers that make sense but I pray God will reveal his wisdom in time. The baby has Hepatitis that has not been treated so I dont know. My agency told me about a sib group of 4 - 3 girls and 1 boy that termination will occur on this month but Im afraid to even consider it. We will see. Thanks to all of you for your support and prayers. I hate the devil.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 01-13-2004, 08:27 AM
LotAkids LotAkids is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 184
Total Points: 1,752.00
Donate
AdoptionBlessing...

Your post caught my eye because you mentioned a sibling group. We adopted a sibling group of three, after a single adoption, and they have been such a blessing to us.

We wanted to adopt again, after our first son, but NEVER thought about a sibling group. The Holy Spirit kept bringing these kids to my mind, and I'd say no. Not three! I couldn't sleep or function during the day because they were so heavy on my heart. I went back and forth about that for a while, until we decided to go ahead and meet them.

They came home October 22nd and our house has been wonderful chaos ever since.
Now we have seven!

Good luck with your decision.
Liz
__________________
There is so much to see if we keep looking up....Lord, you're my blue sky.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Points Per Thread View: 1.00
Points Per Thread: 15.00
Points Per Reply: 5.00


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:55 AM.


Click Here to Learn More