[jslrem]

My husband and I are ready to start the adoption process. However, we are afraid that some agencies may not take us as clients due to our age. Colby is 24 and I am 23. He has already finished college and I am scheduled to graduate in May. We know that paper work and homestudy may take some time, which is why we would like to start the process now. We have estimated that we would be 25 or older by the time we receive a child. We feel that God has really called us to adopt rather than having biological children. We have known this since our relationship started 5 years ago. We feel ready and feel that God is nudging us in this direction. Please let me know if you have any advice or know of agencies that would take on a couple our age as clients. Thanks SO much.

God bless,
Jenn

[cathy102]

I would just start calling some agencies that you would like to work with and ask them about the age factor. There has to be agencies that will work out for you guys...

Good luck!!

Cathy

[dkbw]

Hi

Call around there are plenty of agencies to work with. Keep in mind that some agencies have requirements for how long you've been married too.

Stay on Gods path, he will never lead you in the wrong direction.

Good luck

[Linny]

Jenn:
I think you will find that you won't have much trouble at all concerning an agency that will work with you! We adopted our first baby when we were both 23. My husband was in the Air Force, I was in my junior year of college when we began the homestudy; and still had, I think, one more year of college when she arrived. The next baby arrived during that last semester.

Back then, the agency's main concern was how long we had been married and our financial status. True, we lived overseas........but the agency had to adhere to stateside requirements for us. (We too, believed we were not to have bio kids; but only adopt.)

Best of luck and I hope you adopt many!

Sincerely,

Linny

(BTW.......we're waiting on our seventh......and we're now 46yo.)

[jslrem]

You guys are great. Thanks for the advice. I am going to be speaking to Dillon International out of Tulsa tomorrow. The only thing that may be an issue is that we won't be able to adopt out of China right now. From what I understand, China has an age requirement of 30 years old for parents. But, we would consider a child of any ethnicity, so we may just have to wait for a child from China. Linny, thanks for sharing your story. It really helped. There are days that we feel so ready for a family and then we think, "but we're so young." People often tell us that. One problem may be that we both look young. But you all are exactly right, we will just continue on the path with the Lord and all will turn out according to his will. Again, thanks you all!

God bless,
Jenn

[MomofKaden]

Jenn,
I would love to keep in touch - my husband and I are 27 and 25 respectively and we just adopted our little boy 4 1/2 months ago. So, I know what you are talking about! also, we both look pretty young too, so we get that a lot as well. With the agency we went through, there was no age requirement, only a marriage requirement of being married atleast 2 years...which we had done, so it was so problem at all. Yes, we also saw that we were too young for China, which was fine with us, but that seemed to be about the only place that could have been a problem. Hopefully you will find the same. I would love to hear more as you progress, since we sound somewhat similar! Please don't hesitate to PM me or ask anything - and either way, keep us posted on your adoption process! Best of luck and God bless you as you start this adventure!

[4kidsmom]

Jen,
Have you thought about fost/adopt as an option? You can get licensed through the local county agency seeking an infant and have the benifit of not funding the adoption yourselves. In CA if you adopt through foster care, the fee is minimal to waived. I work in a county in CA that had 4 babies born last month that needed immediate placement in fost/adopt homes and none were certified locally. 4 babies that had to go into foster homes that were not planning on adopting them... Check it out!

[andrews777]

Why not give birth to children (at some point) as well? Why limit it just to adoption?

If you could do that, and did, you would avoid having to deal with some "we never could have children" issues down the line.

Brad

[4kidsmom]

We did both! We have two birth kids and adopted a sibiling group of 2 that were in foster care. It was a great way to have the big family we wanted and make an impact on children's lives who needed help. We have lots of friends- met through support groups- that have both birth and adopted children. Most of the adopted children, though, are through public agencies i.e. foster care, rather than private adoption.

[angelical]

That's what we are doing.

We have one bio son who is 17 months old. I had severe preeclampsia/HELLP Syndrome and he had to be delivered 3 months early.

It would be insane for me to get pregnant again.

We had always discussed the possibility of adopting, and then with all that happened with my pregnancy (4 months of morning sickness too! ), we pushed up that plan.

So now we are in the searching stage for a child or sib group from foster care.

We are really exciting about this opportunity!!

Sharel

[andrews777]

Sharel,

I would highly recommend you ready _Adopting the Hurt Child_ and _Parenting the Hurt Child_ by Keck and Kupecky. The former should allow you to go into your "looking" stage with your eyes a lot more open.

Brad

[angelical]

Thanks. I have seen those books mentioned several times on the boards. I haven't gotten to them yet, but I have been reading other ones - - and lots of info available on the web.

This is so exciting and nerve-wracking!

Sharel

[joymom]

jslrem -

"But you're so young" is such a funny comment to me. I'm 33, dh 37, we're going for #3, and I often wish we had started EARLIER! There seems to be this prevalent idea that having kids "too early" (whatever) somehow is a waste of your "youth". BIG LIE, as far as I'm concerned. Besides, wait a few years, and folks are destined to say, "but aren't you a little old????" Keep researching, go with what God is telling you to do...other people will adjust.

If you are open to any racial background, be prepared -- it can be really fast once your homestudy is done and you're on board somewhere (our youngest came home 6 weeks after we submitted our profile! THAT was wild). Although, if you're going to do foreign adoption it takes longer. We did domestic.

Bless you guys as you seek what God has for you!

[andrews777]

Keep in mind that raising "hurt" children (those from foster care) is definitely different that otherwise. While they face normal "kid" issues, they also have a lot of other things that can sideswipe you if you are not ready for them.

We adopted a sibling group of 4 about 9.5 years ago, and were greatly surprised last fall to face some major issues. We have adapted, but our "smooth water" in the preteen years disappeared. Had we been looking better, we would have noticed it earlier, but we were a bit naive, as you almost have to be to consider doing this.

You can make it, and they are wonderful children, you just need to know all you can.

Brad

[stella]

Hi there! My husband and I are a little older, I'm 27 he's 28. But, we began investigating adoption 2 years ago.

We too were very concerned about our age... We figured you had to be at least 30 to adopt!

Friends have told us that youth might actually swing in your favor, especially if a younger b-mom is looking to place her child. Birth mothers in their teens can find younger couples very desireable. Some younger b-moms do not want to place their children in an environment that would simulate their own (b-mom's parents in their 40's).

Of course, I think this is a misconception... I know 40 year olds who are more active than I am. But, b-moms are sometimes looking to place their child in a family situation that is the polar opposite to their own.

Of course, other b-moms will be attracted to the stability that being older offers. It just depends.

Stella