[paperchasingmom]

Where do I begin....other than to first give thanks to our Heavenly Father above for His great mercy and compassion!!

I wrote a long thread on the Florida Adoptive Parents site and really the story is too long to try to retype here but, basically, we have been chosen to adopt a newborn baby girl from the Philliphines in a private adoption....and we didn't even use an agency or anyone like that....God was our facilitator!!!

I have been in constant prayer and Thursday night I was praying and pleading and begging God to show me if He even WANTED me to adopt, for I have been truly just seeking His will on even whether or not He wanted me to be a mother!!! So I pleaded with Him and begged Him that if He wanted me to be a mother and if He wanted me to adopt, He needed to show me something in black and white and so obvious, not just a feeling in my heart, but something so OBVIOUS that there would be no room for doubt!!!

The NEXT MORNING, my Philliphine friend was at my front door telling me her sister called and had a young woman that had come from far away and wanted to know if there was anyone who could take her baby and take care of it and adopt it!!!! The sister almost fainted for I had just talked to this sister only 48 hours earlier (Wednesday night) begging her to help me find a child since they say they are always having girls and woman with babies come up to them begging them to take their babies...

But then the next night, Thursday night, was when Satan was putting doubts in my mind about how I maybe shouldn't even be a mother, that's when I was praying and pleading and asking God for His sign!!!

Then THE NEXT MORNING, FRIDAY MORNING, was when the sister called and told us how the night before this girl came to her, who was 9 months pregnant....exactly the same time I had prayed to God!!!

Before she even called us though, the sister told the birthmother that she herself has a Philliphine sister living in the United States and that the sister has a close friend that lives close to her here in America who wanted to adopt a Philliphine baby. The mother immediately said yes, she wanted her baby to go America to have a better life, so the sister took the birthmother into her care and the birthmother quickly, happily, and willingly chose us to adopt her baby so the baby could come to America and have a better life....and the sister herself prepared a document stating that this is what the birthmother was requesting!!!

The ironic thing is, we never even started any of our paperwork yet, homestudy or anything, and had only spoke to the sister just a mere 48 hours earlier asking for her help in trying to help us find a baby from the Philliphines!!! We've heard people wait for months and months and even years, so we figure there was no rush....

The birthmother, just the next day, Saturday delivered a healthy, little baby girl and my heart goes out to the sister in the Philliphines because the sister took the birthmother to the hospital for a checkup even before she was EVEN ABLE TO CALL US YET and the hospital told her the girl was starting labor already!!!!

So the hospital kept her and that is when the sister FINALLY HAD A CHANCE TO CALL US THE FIRST TIME to tell us that this birthmother had come to her and how she's already in the hospital in the process of delivering a baby and how this girl had already chosen us to adopt her baby!!!! Before we even knew anything!!!!

The funny thing is, the sister did all this in faith, hoping and praying that we could adopt the baby by Philliphine law and signed herself as the caretaker or emergency person for this birthmother without having any money to pay for the hospital....

So when we got the call, (not knowing any of this was happening, here I am just waiting for a sign from God,) when we got the phone call, we ALREADY had a birthmother who had CHOSEN US and was already in labor on Saturday who had already SIGNED A PIECE OF PAPER NAMING US AS THE ADOPTIVE PARENTS.....at that point, we didn't even know if we legally COULD adopt this baby but we felt compelled to help this birthmother out...

Actually, I had already called one attorney and she had told me no, she thought the Philliphines did not allow closed, private international adoptions like this with "pre-identified children". They only allowed "orphans" or "abandoned" children to be adopted out of the country and typically they're older children, never newborns.....

But we still felt compelled to help this birthmohter out, for no one had any money to pay for the hospital so we immediately wired money over to cover the costs of the baby and the hospital (only $250 american dollars!!!!) just so that the sister and the poor birthmother wouldn't have to worry about it....

But God is good and He saw our compassion and blessed us and later that day we found out that we CAN INDEED ADOPT THIS BABY so, actually we have been given a baby FIRST and now we're trying to do all the necessary paperwork to bring baby Brianna home to us....

We have hired two attorneys, one here and one in the Philliphines who so far have told us that this is fine and we can proceed....and the Philliphine attorney told us he sees us traveling to the Philliphines just next month, towards the end of the month to plead our case to the Philliphine court!!!

My american attorney is going crazy and says that this case is quite novel and unique, for we're kind of doing this backwards, most people don't have a baby first!!!! But God is good and His timing is perfect!!!! and we are just beyond words with the emotions that we are feeling right now....

We would like to know, the birthmother has already given up her parental rights and the father is listed as unknown and the attorney has already visited the birthmother in the hospital and she again, willingly, happily not only chose to give her baby up for adoption but listed us as the adoptive couple she wants to have raise her baby!!! So basically, we have everything that we need to proceed legally with this adoption, and it could remain a closed adoption, but if we would like, the birthmother has said that if WE WOULD LIKE TO, when we travel to the Philliphines we can go meet her and her family and Brianna's older brother....

I very much want to do this, and I've even asked the sister before I knew this to ask the birthmother to write us a letter telling us what she would like Brianna to know about her...can we tell Brianna about her, can we tell her her birthmother's name? Can we tell her that she has an older brother in the Philliphines? I also asked the sister to ask the birthmother if she would like to write Brianna a letter so that someday Brianna has something from her birthmother that she can keep forever....I also asked the sister to ask the birthmother if she would like pictures of Brianna growing up....

It saddens my heart to know that the birthmother chose to not even see her baby's face or hold her....how incredibly difficult that must have been for her....and I want to give her the opportunity to do whatever she feels she needs to do....it's incredible to see how each of us is just so caring about the other person....so incredibly different than what my fears had been all along...

God has given us such a peace about this...this is truly a miracle the way this happened....

I would love to meet the birthmother and her family, the only hesitation I have is that, when we meet her it will be later, next month, much later after she's already given Brianna up, (she already has, the Philliphine attorney said by Monday, May the 5th, just 2 days after Brianna was born, we should already be listed as Brianna's LEGAL GUARDIANS!!!! along with having my friend from the Philliphines, her sister as the foster mother responsible for Brianna's care until her adoption is final). Again, incredible to know that my close friend, her family is going to take care of Brianna--what could be a better situation, knowing that your adopted baby's caretakers halfway around the world are your best friends family!!!! Who could you trust more!!!! Again, a miracle!!

My concern is for the birthmother, I don't want to stir up any emotions within the mother if she's already gone on with her life...trying to move forward...will this cause her pain within her heart...stirring everything up again?

She's not forcing us to meet her, she's already chosen us and has a peace about us and and is very happy and this is not even part of the adoption stipulation....this is something she's GRANTING TO US if this is what we want....

My friend here who is Philliphine says this would be fine. (my friend's family is the family who will take care of Brianna until all the paperwork is complete, the foster family)....she knows the culture and the people and they are so kind and loving and humble and trustful, and from what her sister told her about the birthmother she is very respectful and humble that she suggests we do meet them, that it won't hurt the birthmother more than what she is already doing, for she is actually so very, very happy her baby daughter is coming to the United States...along with having Philliphine friends here, for my best friend has a Philliphine biologial daughter who is 17 months old!!!

We would just like to ask for your christian thoughts and prayers about this whole process ...what would you do? Would you meet the birthmother and the grandparents and Brianna's older brother who is approximately just 2-1/2 years old?

Because we want to do this for Brianna's sake, so we can tell her about her family and have pictures for her later in life and share with her her roots and heritage and let her know that there was such a love and respect between her two families and how God brought our two families together because of her...how God brought two families from both sides of the world together because of and for baby Brianna!!!!

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

We pray God's richests blessings to you always...

Melody and Peter

[Rosioh]

What a blessing to read your story! It is encouraging. I CAN see that you ARE giving God all the glory in this.

My prayers and thoughts are with you.

I wanted to talk to you about adoptive breastfeeding. Did you know that it could be done? If you want information about this you can access a website the ABRW. It is a great website. I have been working on it for 2 months and I am producing about 1 ounce a day. I have no baby yet, but I too am hopeful and in prayer.

The lady that helps me take care of my 80 year old mother in law is Phillipino and we were accessing this website today to get info about Phillipino adoptions. I then ran accross your story and it really gave me hope.

My husband and I do not have a lot of money, but we are trusting God that when that right child comes along, the finances will be there.

May the Lord Bless You and keep you in this wonderful new chapter of your life!!!!!

Rosie
(Rosioh@msn.com)

[faith_amom]

What a GREAT story!! Thank you for sharing it.

As for meeting the Bmom -- If she is open to it, I would do it. Then, I would write a letter to your child immediately afterwards about what she is like. The details will fade in your memory, but the letter will forever hold onto those details.

From the Bmom's end -- If she says that this is something that she wants to do, trust her to decide for herself whether or not she can handle the meeting emotionally. I would think that meeting you would provide a lot of comfort to her.

Congratulations on your adoption. You have quite a testimony of God's goodness.

- Faith

[sspete]

Melody--I am still praying, and holding on to FAITH that everything goes as planned!! Many Blessings!! S Pete

[paperchasingmom]

Hi everyone! Things are going well, busy, busy...it's funny---it seems like everything is happening so fast, but yet so slow, if that makes any sense......plus we're in the middle of remodeling our house!!!!!!

Our attorney in the Philippines, Mr. Reynaldo Bernardo, what an incredible man...God could not have brought us together with a better attorney over there, who is a christian!!!

He's very, very calm, steady, knowledgeable, PATIENT WITH ME, and knows what needs to be done....He can be persuasive yet, low key....you have to really listen to him, he's so quiet in his demeanor, but his words say so much....ALWAYS looking out for our best interest, of course, as well as Briana's...apparently, he's well known in the Philippine court system. Well respected and well liked.

We are awaiting Brianna Eva's pictures...hopefully
we'll get them by Saturday, the day before Mother's Day since that is when we are wanting to tell our families.....

I can say one main thing the Philippine courts are interested in, in addition to everything else, is the fact that Brianna will be able to keep a knowledge of her heritage and still be around it here...

My attorney has asked me for the names of at least 10 Philippine American residents that we know that live close by and this will please the courts that Brianna will not feel like an outsider here....

Plus, we are going to make our best friend, Len, who lives here just a few houses away and who is Philippine (she helped start this whole baby process) we are going to ask her to be Brianna's Godmother....Len herself has a little girl who's 17 months old so they will grow up together....plus Len still has a little girl over there in the Philippines who is 6 years old that she adopted from a family member...so actually her Francesca and our Brianna are together right now!!!!

It truly is a dream come true!!! Plus, our good friends that my husband has known for over 20 years, he is a doctor and he has a male friend who is Philipphine that we know as well and my mother-in-law also knows because she used to be his nanny!!! Well, he's a pediatrician as well, so our daughter will have a Philippine pediatrician!!! Again, unbelieveable how God orchestrates things and brings people together....

We are required by the Philippine courts to have our homestudy done by the government here, not through an agency...I don't know how long that will take or what that entails so if anyone knows, could you please share that with us...We are also currently working on our passports too.

I found out through Candy, Len's sister in the Philippines who is now Brianna's foster parent, I found out through her that the birthmother was just going to go down to social services and apply to have her baby given to them for adoption, but Len and Candy's cousin's daughter told her about us, just in time...again, perfect timing, God's mercy shined down upon us, because had we waited one more day we would have lost this opportunity. Because once the child is given to social services, you cannot choose specifically which child you are wishing to adopt and the process is much, much longer....she would not have been adopted until at least 1 year old from what I understand...she would have been in the orphanage or state care for that long and the process for adopting an "orphaned child" is much harder and takes longer....

I shudder to think that Brianna would have been in an orphanage for that long....God is so merciful....

In addition to our homestudy here, we will have a case study done there in the Philippines as well...there is a social worker that will meet with the birthmother soon in person, to again reaffirm that these are her wishes and then when we arrive she will interview us as well....I think one thing again in our favor is that my husband is Latin and has a very latin look to him...So he and Brianna will truly look like father and daughter (in their eyes). It doesn't matter to us, of course, what she looks like, but again, in their eyes, they're going to see that Brianna will not stand out so therefore maybe feel different than us. Again, I don't think that that's a requirement of theirs of course, for they haven't even seen us yet, but the resemblance will be strong....

Also, the birthmother will appear in person, in court at the adoption hearing...of course, we will not be there at the same time as her....but still, does America require the birthmothers here in the states to appear in person as well again to reiterate to the court system that this is her desire? She's already signed many forms already. Does anyone know? I never knew that....

Maybe that's why Mr. Bernardo feels so comfortable that this will proceed smoothly because there are so many contacts and checks and double checks with the birthmother that the government feels comfortable knowing that these are her true wishes for her child...

In addition to Brianna's pictures that we are waiting for, inside the package is also a little letter that the birthmother wrote to us, at our request....we wanted to give her an opportunity to tell us anything she'd like for us to do....from what I understand from Candy, the foster parent, it basically is just a thank you letter to us for providing a better life for her daughter...

I know I will be shaking when I read her letter and crying immensely.....I cannot even imagine the magnitude of the reality of this whole situation....

Thank you again everyone for your blessings and you are in our prayers as well...

God's richest, richest blessings to you always,

Melody and Peter